If October is any indication of how the rest of the year is gonna go, I may as well just go ahead and wish you a happy new year now. That was the fastest 31 days I’ve ever had, I think. Well, most of it. There was a week in the middle that dragged along as Quinn was grounded for the majority of it. He decided to go for the gold with his tantrum game, so he got to find out the prize. He had been pushing his limits here and there, but for whatever reason, that week, he decided to push them over and over again, which lead to everyone’s breaking point. I thought that his last major tantrum in September was as bad as it could get, but I was wrong. That one happened along route 2, with a captive audience, thanks to the stupid train keeping all southbound traffic hostage. We crossed the highway with me pushing Ash in the stroller, while leading a resistant Quinn by the hand, kicking and screaming. We were quite the spectacle. He was angry because I made him leave the last Farmers Market when he ignored repeated warnings to stop throwing his brother on the ground. Once we got to our street, he sat down in the middle of the alley and refused to come with me. Once he finally got home, he tried sitting down, limp noodle style, and refused to go to his room. I’m bigger than him, so he went, but he tried hitting me and he kept coming back out, which are big No No’s in our house. He eventually fell asleep after lots of screaming (him, not me), and he slept for the entire night. It was five pm when I put him in time out, and when I went to talk to him 15 minutes later, he was out. I figured maybe that was a one off fit since he slept so long, and maybe he was getting sick or something. However, everything came to a head again a few weeks later whenever we went to Harper and Lawson’s birthday party at the skating rink. While we were in the car, on the way to the party, Quinn said, “I’m gonna be so good at this! I can’t wait to skate!” Philip and I gave each other a look because there was absolutely no reason for him to think that ð. Philip gave him a pep talk to set his expectations right. He told Quinn, “Listen, I hope that you are really good at and that you have a great time. BUT, when we came last year, you weren’t that good at it, and you haven’t practiced since then, so there’s a good chance you won’t be super good at it, and that’s okay. We’ll go in and try it, and if you like it, great. If not, then there are other things we can do, but I want you to have the right expectations.” Quinn agreed, but it was clear that he was still confident in his nonexistent ability to skate well. Predictably, he did not do well skating. He tried, he fell, and he threw a fit. He was given several chances to get himself under control, but he was eventually taken to the car, to wait out the rest of the party with his dad. Ash and I stayed inside and enjoyed ourselves. Well, he enjoyed himself and I did my best. The skating rink is unbelievably loud, so fortunately, no one else really knew that Quinn threw a ridiculous fit, but I was overwhelmed with it and the noise.
They have the coolest skate trainers. They're very helpful! (For kids who try ð)
Quinn’s behavior got worse and worse all week, and he had another major tantrum in public a few days later. We took the boys to the high school soccer field so that they could run around and kick balls, and we had been having a good time. Right before we left, I kicked the ball toward the goal, which Quinn was defending, and he stuck his arm out to stop it and was hit pretty hard with the ball. I went to him and apologized, and even told him it was brave that he tried to stop it. He eventually got up, but kept whining (I know his arm was stinging, but that wasn’t what he was whining about). He didn’t want to walk home. We let him sit along the road for a little bit, while we kept walking, always able to see him, but he didn’t know that. We thought he would eventually come, but he didn’t, so Philip went back to get him, and Ash and I went home. I texted Philip when we got home to see if I needed to come pick them up in the car, but they were already coming. He and I have discussed the situation since then and decided that wasn’t the best way to handle it. We don’t want our kids to ever think we’re going to leave them. That’s a terrible fear for children to have, but it’s also an empty threat. I’m not going to ever leave them somewhere.
There were lots of other battles fought over the next few days, but having a terrible attitude during homework (which literally takes less than five minutes when done without it), and telling me "no" when told to do something, were the biggest ones that pushed both Philip and me over the edge. Quinn missed out on several activities that week because of it. Lincoln’s last football game was the night of the soccer field fit, and honestly, I wasn’t feeling up to going, but I had to in order to make sure Quinn knew he missed out due to his behavior ð. He was pretty mad he couldn’t go when Ash and I left without him. His crap attitude and bad behavior continued, so we canceled going to the family STEAM night at the school. We had RSVP’d, but I told his teacher we couldn’t make it. I imagine, had we gone, it wouldn’t have ended in us having a good time together as a family anyway. The Friday that week was a day off for students, and Quinn started his day by hitting his brother, and then telling me, “No,” when I told him to go to time out. That was the tipping point for me and Phillip, where we decided this behavior was going to stop once and for all. We took everything we possibly could from Quinn that day—no toys, no costumes, no drawing, no tv, no playing with his brother. He wasn’t allowed to do anything at all, so he spent the day talking to me. I was exhausted ð. After a while, I wasn’t mad at him anymore, so it was hard to continue being the fun stopper, especially because all I wanted was five minutes of peace, but I had to supervise him. I’m not quite sure why it worked, but it did, and knock on wood, he hasn’t tried pushing his luck since then. If he even gets on his high horse, I remind him that it’s zero to grounded because I’m not tolerating that nonsense anymore, and that usually works to get him to knock it off.
It feels almost dramatic to say that that week was the hardest parenting challenge I’ve faced so far, but I think it’s accurate. The worst kind of battles are when you feel like everything is out of your control. When I feel out of control, I make rash decisions, and they’re definitely not always the right ones. This recent controversy taught each of us some lessons. Since going off of my depression medicine, I’m mostly doing well, but I’ll be the first to admit that I’m easily frustrated and angered. I’m trying very hard to be aware of this, and to dig deeper for more patience, but it’s not easy. I’m not doing a great job at it, but I’m going to keep trying. I get frustrated about silly things, like being asked 59 questions about a mundane object, or being antagonized by the six year old who thinks he knows everything. It’s honestly a struggle.
When Quinn got hit by the soccer ball and Philip and I talked about the situation later, he told me that he thought I was a little harsh with Quinn over it, but he didn’t hear me comforting him when it first happened. He came over during the, “Okay, I know your arm is hurt, but you’re okay, and we need to get up off the ground now,” portion. Of course, at this point in time, I regret being so annoyed by his prolonged whining. I told Philip that I’m not good at babying them, and he said that he thinks I’m not good at babying Quinn. He’s not wrong. Ash has a completely different temperament. He gets hit and needs a quick reassurance, and then he’s good to go. Quinn likes to draw it out and see how far he can take it. If you ask my brother, he would most likely say that Quinn gets that from me and I probably wouldn’t disagree that I was a whiny child. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make me commiserate with Quinn. Whining annoys the crap out of me, and I need to be more compassionate, I guess.
Another issue we’ve been having with Quinn (as if we needed another ðŦ ) is getting him to eat healthy foods. It isn’t a new one, but it seemed to plateau at the same time as everything else. He basically went on a hunger strike, refusing to eat any “real food” for a few days. I’m honestly scared of giving him an eating disorder, but I don’t know how to get him to eat foods that aren’t complete crap. It killed me to refuse to allow him to eat any junk food, which included snacks like goldfish, graham crackers, etc. but he is being more reasonable now and will eat some of the safe, protein rich food options that we offer him. One of the safe foods that he used to eat without issues was pizza. Now, we won’t let him choose that as an option anywhere because he throws a fit over it having too much sauce, and it’s just not worth the fight. For some reason, he thinks pizza doesn’t have sauce, so if he can see it, he’ll refuse to eat it. I’ve started making them homemade cheese breadsticks (I make the dough, and then top it with melted butter, garlic powder, Parmesan cheese, and a mozzarella provolone blend. It is delicious) and Quinn takes those in his lunch. That was a recent change from crescent roll pepperoni rolls, but Ash still eats those. At any given time, one or both of those are on our kitchen counter, and that reminds me of my Nother Nan and her no bake cookies. Every time I visited her, there were always no bake cookies on her kitchen table, and she always offered one to whoever was there. She was a diabetic and didn’t even eat them most of the time (if she was eating sweets, Swiss cake rolls or Texas sheet were her picks), she just liked making them and offering them, I think.
I was worried about the timing of all of these battles, given that it was Halloween season. I honestly probably wouldn’t have kept him from going trick or treating, but I absolutely would’ve kept him from eating candy to his heart’s content, had he continued on his anti healthy food crusade. Luckily, we got to a decent place before the candy onslaught began.
At the risk of sounding ungrateful, halloween has become too much ðĐ. I know, I could just not do all of the things, and you’re right. We don’t even do that many, though, and it’s still too much. I would’ve been happy to skip Boo at Bruce, but other kids had told Quinn about it, and he was excited to go because it was the first activity that happened that I was wiling to do. Aside from that, they each had a school party, and then trick or treat around the neighborhood, and that was all we did. They got a mountain of candy and we didn’t even do any of the other numerous activities that were available. I love, love, love that the surrounding communities offer so much for kids to do, I really do. I just wish we could scale it back a bit. Like, for example, Asher’s class at Little Red Schoolhouse went trick or treating at some businesses downtown. One business gave each child a gift bag full of candy. Another place had like 15 employees who all gave them something like a sandwich bag full of candy. I appreciate their generosity, genuinely, but it’s too much. It’s so, so much. I don’t want him to miss out on the experience, I just want everyone to be reasonable ð. I highly doubt that is the only activity any of those children are doing. They don’t need to compensate for anyone. Call me a jerk, if you want.
Boo at Bruce is a special kind of chaos. I can never decide when is the right time to go, but I’m pretty sure that no matter when you go, there is an hour long wait involved. Our wait in line was made extra painful by the woman in front of us who chain-smoked the entire time. I understand that the park is outside, but it is supposed to be smoke free, by order of the parks department. I used to smoke when I was young, but I gave it up 17 years ago, and now I can’t stand the smell of smoke of any kind. She was choking me up so much that I honestly wonder if I’m now allergic to cigarette smoke. Needless to say, I wasn’t disappointed when the boys decided they had enough candy, and we peaced out in the second portion of the line, where everything haults again at the big shelter.
Quinn- Michael Meyers
Ash- Squid Games Guard.
Neither one have seen the actual shows their characters are from, of course. They just watch shows where people dress up like them. When Ash told me that’s what he wanted to be for Halloween, I was like, “Don’t get your hopes up, kid,” but alas, I found one. No one knew what he was, but whatever, I guess.
Their Boo at Bruce haul.
A direct quote from Quinn: “I’m living my best life right now.” ððð Candy truly is the way to his heart.
Ash’s haul from Little Red Schoolhouse ðģ
Quinn, Lawson, Waylon, Harper. Ash refused to get in the pic ð
Ghost spider and a pirate came along for the ride. The boys only made it about 1/3 of the way around our neighborhood loop before they decided, again, that they had enough candy. It was cold, so mom and dad weren’t sad to go home early ð. I forgot to take a pic when they got home.
Quinn is very generous with his candy. There were several houses where the kids could choose what they wanted, and if Kit Kats were available, Quinn would get one and tell me it was for me because he knows they’re my favorite ðĨđ. He really has the best heart.
My favorite Halloween activity, by far, was going into Quinn’s classroom and making slime with his class. His teachers asked for parent volunteers to come in and do activities during the week of Halloween. Parents didn’t get to go in for their class party because the kids had an early dismissal that day, so I went earlier in the week, while Ash was at school. Making slime was Quinn’s idea, and I was kinda nervous about it. However, I had all of the ingredients portioned out, so all they had to do was the mixing. Kindergarteners are THE BEST hype crowd ðð. They were so excited I was there and it was so much fun! Some of his classmates asked if we could do it again and his teachers said I could, so I may go back again after the new year. Quinn seemed to really enjoy having me come in.
Ash is still loving school. Every day, as soon as Quinn is done with his homework, I have Ash practice with alphabet and shapes flash cards, and he has mastered all letters, and square, triangle, diamond, oval, hexagon, rectangle, circle, and heart shapes. I hope that by making him part of this homework routine it will maybe make it easier when he actually has some, since he’ll be used to doing it.
He is even starting to put numbers in order ðĻðŦ
All of that practice and subsequent praise is going to his head. Sometimes he’ll do something and I’ll joking ask, “How’d you do that?!” His reply is always, “I’m just a smart boy ðĪ·♂️.” He is a smart boy. And a confident one. Sometimes he’ll do something he’s not supposed to do, like climb up the stairs in a silly way, and then he’ll say, “Never try this at home, guys. I’m just doing it cause I’m a ‘fessional.” ðĪĶðŧ♀️ðĪĶðŧ♀️ðĪĶðŧ♀️.
He’s been pushing his limits lately, too, and it makes me so frustrated because he’s always been the chiller of the two (well, minus the first three months when we thought we were going to have to put him back in ðĪŠ), so I’m like why now? Why does he have to try me while Quinn is being so difficult? He needs to wait his turn ð.
No, honestly, he falls in line way quicker, thanks to his brother showing him the ropes. Sometimes by following the rules, and sometimes by not and then showing him the consequences that come with those choices ð. My biggest annoyance with Ash right now is his baby talk. Even Quinn notices it and brings it to his attention. Usually just saying, "Tell me in your big boy voice, please," works to snap him out of it. He talks way too much to have him be doing it in an annoying voice ð. He’s extremely good at verbalizing his emotions. He’ll tell you if someone hurts his feelings, for example. He is not good at describing things in useful ways. He’ll want me to help him find something and say, for example, “You know that blue thing in my closet?” No. Or he’ll tell me about his friend at school and he’ll say, “You know the one with the white shirt?” No, I didn’t see the other kids that day ð.
We got his school pic back. This is the background he wanted. His shirt doesn't really match it, but oh well, I guess. Quinn used to dress almost exclusively in costumes whenever he went to LRS, but Ash dresses up in a different way: as Quinn. He wears Quinn's clothes more than he wears his own. If you tell him something is too big for him, you get the classic Ash response, "I don't care." ð
This is the background I would've picked, had I not pre-ordered
ð.
what we did this month:
Ash had a field trip to the Center for Children and Families for fire safety month. The fire department brought a fire engine for the kids to see and touch, and the Conservation District brought the Soil Trailer. The employees at the Center set up different activities for the kids to do, as well. The Wetzel County Forester came to talk about fire safety, and there was an appearance by Smokey the Bear. Ash had his back to Smokey when he walked up, and he was not impressed when he turned around and saw him ð.
We attended Autumnfest at the 4H Grounds. They had a fun petting zoo and inflatables, similar to Country Roads Fest, that we went to last month.
I took Ash and Iris to Story Time at the library, where they got to color sort M&M's and guess which color they had the most of. On the way home, we stopped at the park and collected leaves to take home and then I showed them how to do leaf rubbings. Now, everywhere we go, Ash wants to take home leaves to do "artwork" with. We've been hitting up the park after Story Time as often as we can, while the weather cooperates! Ash yelled for me to push him on the swing, but Iris got there first ð.
On another day, those two helped me mix the ingredients to make Oreo cake donuts. Yum ðĪĪ.
We attempted to go on the haunted trail at the 4H grounds, but another visitor scared us off ð. We were hiking along and I didn't see the black snake until we were right up on it, and it moved down the hillside, scaring me, so I screamed and scared everyone else. The boys were not into hiking anymore after that. Last year, for this event, they had asked for people to donate their pumpkins to decorate the trail because it was held a few days after Halloween. I had painted a Bluey pumpkin for Iris, and they took it to the trail. When Iris was here the week of the haunted trail event, I mentioned it was coming up, and she said, "I hope there's a Bluey pumpkin there like last year!" I asked if she knew who painted it and she said she didn't ð. I made sure another Bluey pumpkin made it out for the event this year, but then she was sick and didn't get to go. Bluey pumpkin made it to her house eventually, though. Another painting project I did was with the boys, and we painted a haunted castle that I constructed out of toilet paper and paper towel tubes.
We got to celebrate with the cool kid in the middle who turned double digits at the end of the month.
Right before we left for Lincoln's party, Quinn said, "Take a picture of us because I've never loved my brother as much as I do right now." ðĨđ My greatest accomplishment in motherhood will be fostering a loving relationship between my boys. I hope they grow up to be best friends. I know firsthand that when the glue of your family is gone (in my case, my mom), your sibling(s) become(s) even more valuable. I hope they always value each other.
I attended my monthly book club meeting. I love the time I get to spend with these girls!
we took a trip to Mollie and John's Farm for our annual Fall photos Getting that little one to look at the camera has about a 13% success rate Lawson claimed he didn't want to take pics, yet he kept appearing in them
ð
I didn't even know he could make that face ðĪĶðŧ♀️.
When he does finally look at the camera, he doesn't hold still and makes my photos out of focus ðŦ
This one has been practicing for years, he's almost a pro ð
I think this photo is my fav ❤️
Again with the eyes, but he's still cute ðĨ°
We had such a cute crew ð. I took a million pics, so here are just a few more:
Iris and Mollie. And cow.
I Love Fall on the Farm!
Sophie Pupdate ðū
I thought we had made progress with that bed ð
She makes a good porch decoration
ð. I want a Dalmatian statue so badly!
