Passion for Repurpose: Fairy Garden

It blows my mind how Quinn’s language has evolved so quickly in the last few weeks. He talks ALL. DAY. LONG. Two of my biggest pet peeves are having someone tell me the same thing over and over again and someone saying my name and then not telling me what they want. I live with a toddler in this phase. Send help. 

The most annoying he’s ever been so far in life was just a few weeks ago. Mama almost lost her shit, but I’ve since recovered. Quinn spent the entire day getting on a kick of certain words and saying them repeatedly, including what he wanted you to do while you were doing it. If he wanted, say, cheese, he would say “cheese” one bazillion times, even while you were literally getting the damn cheese. He doesn’t understand sarcasm, of course, but we like to say things like, “Oh, you want some cheese? Weird. Why didn’t you just tell me.” On a different, much less but still annoying day, he got on a kick of saying, “Pap,” because I told him we would pick Pap up later. He said Pap about a million times, and I was like:

M: “Say another word.”

Q: “Pap.”

M: “Socks.”

Q: “Pap.”

M: “Banana.”

Q: “Pap.”

*Sophie comes and assaults me*

M: “Sophie, get your nose out of my ass!”

Q: “Ass.” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

He constantly tells me, “Hand,” and wants me to give him my hand so that he can guide me to wherever it is he wants to play at the moment. Being dragged around by an almost 2 year old every 5 seconds, particularly when you’re trying to do something, gets frustrating real quick. 

Quinn is right on track with the Baby Center article about toddlers 21 months, 4 weeks old, that says he may develop a new phobia. They said it would likely be bugs or water. He lovesssss water so bugs it is. We were playing outside the other day and I pulled some weeds and a worm came out with them and crawled on the sidewalk where I was sitting. Quinn saw it and then we had a 30-minute exchange about it. He wouldn’t stop saying, “Worm,” and “Coming.” I was like, “No, the worm isn’t coming to you, it’s just crawling around.” I finally had to lovingly but firmly tell him the worm went back into the ground and to stop worrying about it. I later told Philip about this conversation because I thought Quinn was probably scared of the worm and I spelled W-O-R-M and told him DO NOT say that word. I couldn’t take another discussion on the subject. 

Quinn is learning habits and demonstrates his understanding of our daily routine. For example, when I give him a bite of my eggs in the morning, he pauses and says, “Hot?” I say, “No, not hot,” and then he’ll respond, “warm.” Next, I say, “Yes, they’re just warm,” and then he’ll eat them. This happens everyyyyyy morning 🙄. After having the girls get loose due to the gate being open just a few seconds too long when a certain little boy stood in the way, allowing Sansa to seize the moment, he now goes to the gate and says, “Go!” when I’m about to open it. If I’m not in the room and Philip asks him where Mama went, he almost always says, “Pee.” 😂  Because I’ve so often asked if he’s okay when he’s fallen, he now automatically says, “okay!” when he falls down. Of course, even though he’s okay, it’s still imperative that I give both of his big toes kisses, even when sometimes he didn’t hurt his toes 🙄🙄🙄. He also learned to ask me to wipe his tongue when he gets a hair on it, which is often because dogs. His tongue is so small, it’s actually kind of hilarious to feel it. I’m used to being licked by 75-100 pound animals, and their tongues are much bigger 🤪. 

Trying to lick me, while on a rare trip inside Walmart 🤦🏻‍♀️.

If we do something one time, he, apparently, remembers it for life. When I ask him if I can cut his fingernails, he says, “Row row,” because I sing 🎵 Row, Row, Row Your Boat 🎵 to him while I do it. I started that like a year ago but now we have to do it every time. We made my niece, Kate, cookies on her birthday and now every time he sees a cookie, he says, “Kate.” I’m like, “Yep, we made cookies for Kate, huh?” 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

Rolling the dough

Making questionable cookie cutter choices. Not sure if that red one to the right is a fish or? I told him we were making the letter “K” cookies but ended up with fire trucks, scallop edged circles, and gingerbread men, too 🤷🏻‍♀️. 

Zoom in.  He was covered in flour 🤦🏻‍♀️. 

He did help clean up though. Don’t worry, I re-washed them 😉. 

Kids repeat what they hear often and I didn’t realize how often I say, “Hmmmm.” Anytime I say it, my tiny shadow says it also. The other day I heard him tell himself, “Good job,” when he kicked a ball 😆. He uses his manners and asks, “How are you?” when he pretends to talk on the phone, often calling Lulu, if you ask him who he’s talking to. He told me, “Help please,” when he needed his soccer net put together and even said “(Excuse) scuse me,” when I told him he was in my way. We have a neighbor who likes to give the neighborhood kids Blow-Pops when he sees them out and Quinn will often tell him, “Thank you,” now, without my prompting. He tells us “Thank you,” as well if we hand him something and the other night at bath time, Philip told him to stand up so he could wash his butt, and when he finished Quinn told him, “Thank you.” 🤣🤣🤣

We weren’t sure how to teach him me/you, as he was calling himself “You” when he saw his reflection or a picture, but he figured it out on his own. He likes to play us against each other when we ask for kisses but he duped us both the other night. Philip asked for a kiss and he said, “No.” I asked for a kiss and he said, “No,” again. He then said, “Me,” and kissed his own hand 🤣. We busted out laughing. He has started understanding ownership and tonight said that his drink was “Me’s.”  He often tells me whose clothes are whose when we fold laundry. Since he was born, I’ve thought it important for him to see both of us do roles considered masculine and feminine so that he doesn’t think household chores are gendered. I was installing a solar light the other day and he called the drill I was using, “Mama’s,” and he called the oven, “Dada’s,” later when he was standing by it. He sees Philip cook all the time and I’m often the one putting up hooks or other hardware for organization purposes. 

There are a few things he gets wrong when identifying but he’s pretty close so it’s cute. He has a pair of pretend garden shears that he calls “knife.” This is also what he calls scissors. Since they’re both sharp, I go with it and tell him he can’t touch knives. He saw me drinking hot chocolate out of a coffee cup one night and he’s always saying he wants a drink of coffee, mostly because he knows he isn’t allowed to have it. However, I gave him a little bit in a cup with a lid that sort of resembles a travel coffee mug. He thought it was the best thing ever. So, if you hear my kid saying he drinks coffee and plays with knives, rest assured he’s just a little confused 🤣. 

That’s his “knife” laying in the dirt 😉

I started the habit of repeating what he says back to him and typically, expanding on it. So, like, if he says, “Sophie,” when he hears her bark, I’ll say, “Sophie is barking. What do you think she’s barking at?” That helps him learn new words and helps show him that I understood what he said. This is a great tool when I actually understand what he says. When he says something that I don’t understand, he will not let it go. I will try to play it off after he has said something 10 times and I’m still not getting it and be like, “Oh yeah?” but he KNOWS. He won’t let me off the hook. Sometimes this leads to a tantrum, depending on what kind of mood he’s in. Other times, it makes him be creative in expressing himself. For example, he tried and tried to tell me, “Willow,” my brother’s cat’s name, one day and I was not getting it. After many failed attempts, he finally said, “cat!” That’s when it clicked, and I realized what he meant. His face lit up when I made the connection. The other day he took a drink of a new sparkling water that he hadn’t tried before and told me, “Sow-wa.” I didn’t understand, “Sow-wa,” and he said it over and over again. I asked him if he could tell me another word but instead he said very clearly, and very slowly, “SOWWW-WAAAA.” That’s when I got that he meant sour. The water, or “Pop,” as he calls it, was SOUR! I didn’t even know he knew that word. He should, as he’s experienced it several times, as he always says he wants a drink of lemon juice when I get it out of the fridge. I’m not sure how many times he’s going to want to learn that lesson but apparently it hasn’t stuck yet. 

We’ve spent every warm day outside, mostly playing in the garden. I’m trying to get my beds ready for planting, as some invasive cover crop has taken over 2 of my big beds, and the 1 small one. Begrudgingly at first, I sacrificed the small bed to Quinn to use as a dirt box. He loves shoveling and using his “knife” to cut big hunks of dirt though, so it was totally worth it. He likes to sit in his garden shed and stalk the neighbors, hoping Scarlett will come over and play with him, and watch the elderly man on the tractor mow. He insisted I come in there with him one day and while we were just hanging out, he suddenly got up and ran to the driveway. This was the same time that a neighbor from a block over, who I don’t really know but see often on our walks, came driving down the road. Quinn LOVES to wave at people so of course he got this man’s attention, who then got to see me just hanging out in the tiny house, alone 🤦🏻‍♀️. 

Working on a bed. 

Mowing the yard 😉. No, I don’t actually let him do it, those blades are sharp. And yes, we have a non-manual mower, too, if you’re wondering. I’m not that eco-friendly..yet 😉. #goals 

Ready to help pull weeds. 

He was soooo proud of himself for shoveling the dirt and putting it into the bucket after Dad showed him how 🙂

Watching the neighbor mow 😆. 

Quinn has really mastered his bike on the small incline down our driveway. We got him a scooter, too, and he’s doing really well with it. His favorite vehicle is his bubble mower though. He was obsessed with it the first few days after it arrived. We even had to find an episode of Blippi mowing because he talked about his mower so much. This past weekend I told Philip I wanted to mow the yard before it rained, but he was working on making some dough for dinner. I told him that was fine, Quinn could come out with me and then he could come get him when he was done. We all know there’s no way I could go outside without my mini shadow following. Philip agreed and asked what Quinn does while I’m mowing. He mows too, of course! Philip got a picture when he came out. Quinn was waiting for me on the sidewalk and would go one direction with me and then turn when I did to go the same the way 🤣. 

😂😂😂

Most of his vehicles. He has another ride on truck that’s in the basement to help keep him busy while I do laundry. 

This is another. It was given to us by my friend, Lisa. We’ve been gifted so many toys and clothes secondhand, it’s been amazing. I’m so glad we waited to have a kid until after most of my friends and family did so we get the things they’re done with 🤣🤣🤣. 

We had a bit of a scare last Saturday as Quinn woke up with a fever and a nasty cough. Philip had been sick for over a week with just cold type symptoms. I’ve been fully vaccinated for COVID (with no side effects, yay!) but he has only had the first shot so far, so just to be safe, we had them both tested. Luckily, both were negative for COVID but Quinn had an ear infection. His allergies are causing lots of drainage, thus the lovely cough. He got his first antibiotic, and he absolutely hates taking it. They must have changed the flavor of amoxicillin because I lived on that stuff for the first six years of my life until I got my tonsils removed. I loved the pink goodness 😆. When I tell Quinn it’s time to take his medicine, he says either, “Run,” or “Hide” and does both 🤦🏻‍♀️. It’s a struggle and I can’t wait until he finishes the bottle. He was great at getting the COVID test though. They swabbed his nostrils and he didn’t put up any sort of fight. This is coming from a kid who tries to use the booger sucker on his own nose though 🤷🏻‍♀️. 

🤦🏻‍♀️. 

Ignore my counter mess, I was organizing. Anyone who’s ever seen me do that knows I have to make an even bigger mess to fix the first one 😉.

They’re not the only ones who have been to the doctor lately. Sansa had to have her annual heartworm test and a spot on her leg checked that looked infected. I took her to the vet and didn’t realize it was going to be a high-pressure sales situation. You stay in your car and they come and get your animal and ask you questions. The tech asked me about her leg, questions like, “Is she limping?” “Do you know if she sustained an injury?” “Is she eating? Drinking?” “Have diarrhea or vomiting?” I told her that Sansa was acting completely normal, just licking this spot a lot and some of the hair was gone on it. She asked if Sansa could get x-rays and bloodwork if needed. I told her I would like to just see what the doctor said about it before I authorize any additional testing. Like, I get all of the back and forth is a hassle but I just said she was acting mostly normal. I would need a pretty good explanation to warrant the extra expense. I want her to have the care she needs but I’m also not going to pay for unnecessary things, ya know? She asked if I had a budget I wanted to stay under, $100, $200, $300? I had already told her I needed 4 Nexgard (flea and tick preventative, which are buy 3, get 1 free) and those cost $60. The office visit, because it was a “sick” visit, deemed so by her need to have her leg checked, alone cost $48 ($10 more than a “well” visit). We were already past $100 right out of the gate. The tech came back out and said she has a skin infection on her leg, as far as they can tell without an x-ray (🙄 she’s prone to skin infections, she’s had several before so I’m gonna go ahead and feel confident that’s what it is) and she needed to have a blood test done to check her thyroid. With the medication for the infection and the blood test, we would be over the budget I set of $200, so she asked if I wanted to only get one Nexgard to stay under. I told her no, I needed at least 2, one for Sophie, and if I’m going to buy 2, it made more sense to get 4 with the BOGO deal. After all was said and done, Sansa was deemed to have hypothyroidism, a condition requiring lifelong medication and the total was $276. She offered me medication to give her for itching, but I already had some so I declined. She asked if I wanted an itemized receipt. Yep, I sure did. When I got home, I compared the prices of the medication to those on 1800petmeds, which is where I already buy their heartworm preventative. They were half the price online. The office has to okay the prescription for the Interceptor and it’s really kind of a hassle to get them to do it but when the price difference is $17, I can’t justify getting it from them. I don’t want to bash anyone, and I know people have to make money but I won’t pay double for pet medications when I can just order them. It’s actually more convenient for me to do that than to go pick them up locally so 🤷🏻‍♀️. I sure do miss Dr. Barnes, may he Rest In Peace. 

Being good girls, with their friend, Steele, who comes to visit them on our walks, hoping Dad will give them a treat 😂. 

Back to Quinn. We’ve been having another struggle with listening when told “No,” or “Stop,” and he is really trying my patience. Especially when it comes to staying in the yard and not going out into the street. I’ve told you all about the man who doesn’t know what a stop sign means and thinks speed limits don’t apply to him. While talking to another neighbor today, she said she thinks he doesn’t see very well. Speeding and having limited vision sounds like a recipe for disaster. Anyone know what can be done about this situation? We have 4 children under 5 years old on our street and I’m so afraid of what might happen. 

He’s always wanting to “fly” and chase birds but that often leads to him getting in trouble for going into the road 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️. 

Anyway, speaking of driving, we went to the zoo a few weekends ago. Quinn gets super car sick and wasn’t feeling too hot by the time we arrived. We also didn’t have the forethought to check the hours and got there 45 minutes before they closed 🤦🏻‍♀️. Four o’clock is way too early; I assume it will get later as we move into summer. We made a quick run through and Quinn didn’t even mind that we didn’t get to see everything. He would have been happy just standing and watching the zebra the entire time. Now every time I tell him we have to go in the car, he says, “Zebra,” pronounced with a short e, like Debra 😆. I’m like, “No buddy, we’re not going to see the zebra, we’re going to Walmart to pick up our groceries.” Then he’ll run and not let me put his socks and shoes on. I have to make empty threats that he doesn’t yet know are lies so he’ll comply. I’ll tell him, “Ok, Mama’s gonna go to the store without you. Bye.” He always comes running then 🤪. I wonder how long I can use that before he calls my bluff. 

Even though he’s driving me nuts in this current limit testing phase, it’s also a fun time because he’s starting to make friends. He and the neighbor girl play together most days when it’s nice outside. I had to expand my fairy garden to accommodate them 😂. Quinn tries to ride the tiny bike and go down the tiny slide 🤦🏻‍♀️. 

Plotting his next move. 

🤦🏻‍♀️

Yep, that’s a fairy slide under his butt. 

We went from this....

To this 🤣. And it’s likely to get even bigger because I still have some more stuff. I bought a bunch of stuff a few years ago but I prefer to make things for it, rather than buy them. I made the fence with some leftover wood pieces I had from another craft and some popsicle sticks. I made some “grass” areas with oatmeal lids covered with green felt. These helped provide a place for the playground that was level. The flowers on the ground are beer bottle lids, glued together and painted. The colorful walkway is made from milk jug lids. The area to the right is a piece of green burlap and I made the “fire pit” from a tea light holder, spray painted black. It’s still a work in progress but Quinn and Scarlett have already checked it out and rearranged 😂. I may need 2 fairy gardens, 1 for me and 1 for them 😉🤪. Oh, note the supervisors in the window. They make nose art on the daily. Keeping the windows clean is impossible 🤦🏻‍♀️. 

I’m so thankful the weather is finally warming up. Sunshine heals the soul. Quinn gets his love of being outside straight from his Mama. We’ve been to the parks several times, gone for a bike ride, take a walk almost every day, and we’ve even been fishing! 😉

He can identify the color yellow and quantify 2 items 🙂. 

Even when it’s raining, we still play outside sometimes. 

He ended up getting sooo wet 🤦🏻‍♀️.  He eventually started sticking his head under the drip from the broken piece in our gutter 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️.

Next up: swimming! Come on hot weather, and get here already! We missed out on the public pool last year due to COVID. I’m hoping we can make it this year, assuming it’s safe to do so. Until then, we can make due with the hot tub turned way down, like we did today 🙂. 

More Drama For This Mama

****Warning: graphic details*****

Things can always get worse. 

You may remember that I said, “Assuming she got it all, I will avoid infection and any further treatment” when talking about the quick procedure my doctor performed in her office to remove a small piece of remaining tissue from my miscarriage. Going on the results of my ultrasound on March 15th, which stated, “No evidence of normal gestational sac within the endometrium,” I declined to have a D&C and the results were presented to me as though one wouldn’t be necessary. After that visit, I went about my life. I was still moderately bleeding, but that’s normal and to be expected for about 7-10 days post. I had some cramping for a few days after the miscarriage on March 12th as well but then they subsided. I thought everything was over with. 

Philip and I had not eaten out at a restaurant since March 2020 and spent very little time alone together since Quinn was born. Given the stress from these recent events, on March 20th we made plans to go to the mall, eat at Garfield’s (a place we used to love), and then go to Sam’s Club. Marsha and Kim (his Mimi and Kiki) kept Quinn for us. The ride up there was uneventful and we stopped at Garfield’s first. They told us it would be about 25 minutes for a table, they took my phone number, and said they would call when it was ready. To kill time, we walked around the mall a bit. We decided to visit the toy store and as I was browsing, I had the weirdest sensation I had ever felt in my life come over me. I stopped and looked at Philip and said, “Something is about to come out of my vagina.” I don’t even remember what he said other than something about he wondered what was going on from the look on my face. I told him I didn’t want to move but what else could I do but just that?! I took one more step and felt a sudden gush and something exit. Luckily, the 90’s are back in style and I happened to be wearing a jacket so I took it off and tied it around my waist as I made my way to the public restroom. What I found when I entered the stall was mind-blowing. A mass the size of a large chicken egg and about 2 cups of blood were in my underwear. I was wearing jeans so I had to take my pants off in order to remove my underwear that were now ruined and doing me no good. I cleaned up the best I could and saved the tissue, wrapping it toilet paper. I came out and told Philip I was pretty sure I had just passed the gestational sac and needed to go buy new underwear. We grabbed the first ones we saw in Belk and I made my way back to the public restroom.  Prior to this, my bleeding had slowed down so I was only wearing a panty liner and didn’t have any extra pads with me. I had to buy one out of the machine in the bathroom. Charging $1 for a generic pad should be a crime. I’m thankful I even had change with which to buy it since I typically use my debit card for purchases. I once again had to get undressed and dressed in a stall. For the second time in my life, I had bled through my pants. The first time wasn’t nearly as dramatic but still embarrassing, in my sixth grade English class. 

I felt fine, physically, afterwards. We came home and I wasn’t sure that I needed to keep the tissue and ultimately decided to throw it away after examining it and googling pictures of miscarried gestational sacs. I sent a message in my Chart detailing what had happened and what I thought it was. I, of course, was pretty pissed about this having been missed on the ultrasound so I asked if this is a normal thing for them to not see. The following Monday, March 22nd, my birthday,  no less, I received a message back saying what I had passed was most likely a blood clot but they went ahead and scheduled another ultrasound for me on Friday March 26th. Being absolutely certain that it was not indeed a blood clot, I retrieved it from the trash and took a picture to send them. The nurse that I was corresponding with messaged back to say that my doctor had left for the day but the doctor who is taking over her practice reviewed it and said she *thinks* it is a blood clot but couldn’t be sure without physically assessing it. She also asked how big I thought it was. At this point I was beyond pissed that they were trying to sweep me under the rug but I was thankful for 2 things: 1) Saturday night is when I had put the trash bag containing the tissue outside and it got below freezing, thus freezing the tissue and preserving it. 2) Monday night is trash night so it hadn’t gone to the curb yet. I responded that it was approximately 7cm long and 4 cm wide and that I actually still had it. I’m going to assume that isn’t what they were expecting me to say. I don’t work in the medical field but my gut tells me that what should have happened next is for the doctor to immediately order pathology on the tissue. By Wednesday I hadn’t gotten a reply to my messages and I had talked to a few friends who work/worked in the medical field who also did not think it was blood clot and one said that the doctor should order pathology on it. Since she obviously wasn’t going to offer, I requested (through a my chart message so it would be in writing) that the doctor order pathology for it. The nurse responded saying my doctor was in the OR that morning but she would get a message to her and get back with me. The nurse called me that afternoon and ~*~suddenly~*~ the doctor wanted me to have an ultrasound ASAP. Weird, right? Maybe that’s because it was the first time she was seeing the picture, I can’t say for sure. She asked if Wetzel was able to get me in the next day, Thursday, would I be able to go? I told her I would. I also asked if I could take the tissue to Wetzel. She said she would ask and call me back. When I heard from her next though, she said Wetzel didn’t have any available appointments and that they could not process the tissue there and would have to send it out so I needed to bring it to Reynolds. She tried to get me to bring it that day but I told I couldn’t. I wasn’t going to make an hour and half round trip just to drop it off when I was going up Friday anyway. She told me to bring it to the office. To be honest, I was a little nervous about taking it to them and not the lab because I wasn’t entirely trusting that they were going to send it out but I took it anyway. Turns out, Reynolds also had to send it out and I could have gotten results faster by taking it to Wetzel instead of doing their bidding. 

I took it to the office and then went for my ultrasound. When the same girl who did my last ultrasound called my name to take me back, I can’t imagine the look on my face. For those of you who don’t know me well, I wear every thought on my face; and I know I stared at her for a good 10 seconds deciding whether or not I was going to go. I did go and when we got in the room I told her I needed to ask her a question. I asked who was responsible for the results of my last ultrasound. She said that she just takes the pictures and the radiologist interprets them and has the final say. I told her why I asked and she assured me it wasn’t her fault. Ha. Alright, then. Whatever. She did do a thorough job the second time, I felt. 

Anyway, the results of that ultrasound were read by a different radiologist, whether by her request or chance, I don’t know. It’s good thing, too, because I wouldn’t have accepted results from the same one. This one showed nothing related pregnancy. 

The results of the pathology took a week to get back and during that wait my bleeding finally stopped. Ya know, because my miscarriage was ACTUALLY complete. The nurse called me the following Friday and said the results came back and that tissue was “products of conception,” which is just a term that means related to pregnancy. AKA, not a blood clot. AKA, I was right. Typically when test results come in, I get a notification. Of course, I had been waiting for this one and knew it hadn’t come, so I asked the nurse if the results would be in my chart. She said that I’m blocked from the results “for some reason” and that she would ask the doctor to unblock them. I told her to please do that as I would like to see them. On Monday, April 5th, I sent a message in my chart asking, again, for the results to my pathology. I still have not received a reply. When they hadn’t responded by Tuesday, I called the Release of Information Department and got the results myself. I asked the woman on the phone if it’s common to have results blocked from MyChart and she said, yes, sometimes doctors do that but she doesn’t know why because patients can always call that department and get them. She said she wishes they wouldn’t do that, just release them. I agreed as they’re MY medical records. 

I wrote a very lengthy (as I do 😉) complaint letter to WVU Medicine on Tuesday when I received a $1500 bill for all of these phenomenally poor services. This was after charging my insurance and probably not the last one to come. I requested these fees be waved to allow me to have closure on this horrendous experience. I’m awaiting a reply. Should one not come, I will determine what my next steps will be. 

I am so emotionally exhausted at this point that I’m numb about it all. I’m scheduled for a follow up visit next week with the doctor, who’s no doubt going to be upset when she hears about my complaint as I named every single person who I felt wronged me and why. I debated on going and asking for an explanation or maybe I wanted an apology but ultimately decided against it. I was having a lot of anxiety about whether or not I really need a final exam so I talked to my PCP today about. She advised me to get my last round of bloodwork next week to check my HCG level and should it be zero, I will not need exam or further treatment. If it is not zero, she’s going to help me find a new gynecologist to perform a D&C. I hope with every fiber of my being that it’s not necessary and this can all be behind me. Finally. 

My PCP is Alisha Placer, the FNP at Sistersville Rural Health Clinic and I can’t say enough good things about her. She’s always super supportive anytime I’ve ever needed anything and she listened to me tell this ridiculously long saga over the phone today and apologized several times, even though she had nothing to do with it. She said she will do whatever I need her to do to help me through this and I know it’s true. I feel so much better after contacting her. If anyone needs a primary care physician, I highly recommend her!

I’ve had so many people let me know they care by checking up on me, offering me condolences, gift me alcohol (and other things but that’s really what matters, right? 😉), send me flowers, and just offer to help in any way they could. You don’t know how much those things matter. Truly. Thank you so much. 

So many people commented on my last post about this that I was brave for telling me story but honestly, that’s how I cope. I’ve always been one who has to get it out. There was a time when I stopped doing that and it led to a dark place that took a while to figure out how to come out from. My friend Kim got me a necklace for my birthday that has a tree branch on it and the perfect saying, “Grow through what you go through.” I don’t mind sharing because, while I hope no one else ever experiences what I did, miscarriage is very common, yet there is little to no education on it. Honestly, before this, I kind of thought of it as one of those things that you know about but *it won’t happen to me.* I was having a conversation early in my pregnancy with my friend who is also pregnant but has experienced a loss, about the no visitor policy as Reynolds. I was mad about all the things I though unfair that Philip would have to miss out on. She was also upset about that for her husband but she mentioned an added fear that hadn’t even crossed my mind: getting bad news while being there alone. It didn’t happen that way for me but it easily could have and I didn’t even know enough to try to prepare myself for the possibility. Since sharing my story, I’ve learned about so many women who have experienced pregnancy loss that I never knew about. I just wish there was more education on the subject. I know pregnancy is supposed to be a joyous time but 10-20% (of known) pregnancies end in loss. That’s not a small number. Anyway, if anyone ever has any questions that I haven’t answered in my very detailed tale, I’d be happy to talk to you. 

Catching Up

It’s been a really long few weeks and the Shit Show Saga continues, however, I’ll post an update about that once I get some pathology results back from the lab. 

I haven’t written about Quinn in a quite a while because of all the emotional turmoil that being pregnant and then miscarrying brought. I write these posts to amuse you all, but also so that I can read them once he’s big and has an attitude problem so I can remember how cute he used to be. When I don’t write posts regularly, I feel like I miss some details and these days won’t last long, I want to remember as much as I can! Not to mention, I take 300 pics a day so I have too many to go back through 😉.  I’ve been taking lots of notes though, so go pee and grab a drink before you get started; it’s gonna be a long one. 

Several weeks ago now, Quinn had his first episode with allergies/seasonal cold. He didn’t have any symptoms other than a runny or stuffy nose so I say it was allergies but Philip says it was a cold so there ya go. Anyway, I called his doctor and asked if there was anything I could give him to help dry up his snot and he said, no, he didn’t recommend giving any child under 6 years old allergy medicine. He told me to use nasal suction and saline drops and call back if it got worse or hadn’t cleared up within a week. The advice to not give allergy medicine probably clues some of you in to who is NOT his doctor since the other pediatrician here in town recommends Claritin for everything 😂. Itchy eyes? Claritin. Runny nose? Claritin. Broken leg? Claritin. Okay, I’m kidding about that last one. Probably. 😉.  Anyway (again), I thought using the nose sucker was going to be an issue since every other kid on the planet hates it, but nope, my kid is a weirdo who LIKES it 🤦🏻‍♀️. He laughs when I do it and when I ask him if he wants me to suck his nose, he tells, “yeah.” 🤣. This makes my life easier so that’s cool. 

He has learned so many new words and concepts in the last few months, it’s amazing. When he’s ready for bed, he tells me, “nap.” He says, “love you” and “sorry,” sometimes first, without prompting. He went around the kitchen this evening telling me, Philip, Sansa, and Soph “love you,” several times. One of us have to answer for the dogs though and tell him they love him back 😂. This rule also applies anytime he’s wearing a hat or sunglasses, we each (including the dogs) have to tell him he looks cool 😂. He tells me “I know,” alllll the time, to most anything I tell him. He answers “room,” to any question that involves the word “where.” I mean, technically, whatever it is I’m looking for is most likely in a room so he’s not wrong but he’s also not helpful. He provides commentary on everything he does, like “coming,” “running,” or “climbing,” as he scales your body while trying to relax on the couch, and “bounce” as he assaults your torso with baby butt hops. Philip does bath-time with Quinn and taught him to call his penis his horn. He has become very interested in it as of late and constantly grabs it and names it. He’s also very curious about other people’s “horns.” He assaults me daily by grabbing my crotch and saying, “horn.” We’ve been telling him I don’t have a horn because I’m a girl and girls don’t have horns so now when he does it, I only have to say, “I don’t have a horn,” and he says, “girl.” 😆 He grabs Philip’s all of the time and while I try not to encourage it, I can’t help but laugh. He even grabbed my niece, Haleigh, one day and said it. She didn’t know what he said so while we were telling her, my other niece, Kate, started backing slowly out of the room, not wanting to give him a chance to check for hers 🤣🤣. 

He looks cool, right? You had better tell him 🤪. 

Quinn’s absolute favorite word to say? “Done.” Here are some examples:

Me: “Buddy, we need to change your diaper.”

Q: “Done.”

Me: “Let’s put some pants on so we can go pick up our groceries from the store.”

Q: “Done.” 

*Ad comes on TV*

Q: “Done!”

We’ve just recently started some screen-time with him. The recommendation is to wait until age 2 but sometimes I just really need that electronic babysitter so that I can get something done. These new shows are horrible and I hate them all 😂. He started out watching music videos—songs like Prince Ali from Aladdin, Old Town Road, Gangnam Style, and What Does The Fox Say. Yes, these were guided by my husband because they are not popular anymore so he wouldn’t have heard them otherwise. These all have a name so that Quinn can tell us what he wants to hear. In order from above we have: Dance (it’s the Just Dance version), Horse, Gum (Quinn came up with that one), and Fox. He eventually got bored with those and somehow we ended up watching two kids named Dianna and Roma play with toys. They weren’t awful, I could tolerate them. However, after they went off, Blippi started coming on and that’s his current favorite. Unfortunately. 

We sometimes talk to him while he’s watching and use it as an opportunity to teach him new words. He talks constantly, even when he’s playing alone. He’s starting to pick up more phrases and repeats some back to me that I say to him all the time. Like, for example, he always tries to hand me something—his bink, a toy, etc., at the worst times. I’ll be peeing and he’ll try to give me a book to read. I tell him, “sit it down,” and that we’ll read it when I’m done in the bathroom. Last week this happened, and I said, “I’m peeing right now,” and he said, “sit it down” 🤣. 

I know it’s pointless and he probably doesn’t *actually* grasp what it means but I often tell him to “please be careful,” and while I know he’s just mindlessly agreeing, it makes me feel slightly better when he answers, “k.” 🤣. However, he will also lie to me and tell me that he lied so I should probably not feel any sort of comfort in that whatsoever 🤦🏻‍♀️. He likes to play tricks, but he pulled one over on himself the other day. We had some salt and vinegar potato chips and he wanted to try them. He made some hilarious faces and gave them a second and third taste, but ultimately ended up not eating them. A few days later they were out on the table and he wanted one again. Philip asked Quinn to bring one to him. Quinn got one out of the bag, walked across the kitchen and acted like he was going to put it in Philip’s mouth but then at the last second stuck it in his instead. The look on his face when he tasted it was priceless. He must have forgotten what kind of chips we had 😆. Another trick he likes to play is kissing anyone other than who asked him for one. Like, if Philip asks him for a kiss, he’ll come and kiss me and vice versa. One day I asked him for a kiss and Philip was working. He looked around and spotted Sophie, so he went and kissed her 🤦🏻‍♀️. He kissed the dog instead of me!

He loves our girls so much. He says “Sansa” about 893 times a day. He even named a giant stuffed horse that belongs to my niece, Kate, “Sansa,” and insists on playing with it every time he’s at their house 😆. Honestly, they’re pretty close in size and the same color so I see the resemblance. 

He has a love for oversized stuffed animals, apparently, because he has a lion and an elephant that are each almost as big as him, and those are part of the bedtime entourage that invades our sleeping space. We also have Baby, his doll, and Baby Sansa, a miniature version of Sansa 🙄. We’re still co-sleeping and I really don’t hate it. I lay with him until he falls asleep and he sleeps all night most nights. Getting him to go to sleep can be a chore sometimes as he’s developed a distraction technique when he’s not quite sleepy enough. He likes to go through a list of names and wants me to tell him where they are 🙄. Such as:

Q: “Lulu” (Lori)

Me: “She’s at her house.”

Q: “Haleigh”

M: “She’s there too.”

Q: “Co” (Coen)

M: “He’s there too, and do you know what he’s doing? He’s sleeping. You need to go to sleep like Co.”

Q: “Kate”

M: 🤦🏻‍♀️

The gang’s all there!  

Speaking of sleeping, we switched Quinn’s room with ours a few months ago. Our old room is much bigger and we thought it made more sense for that to be his room, in case one day he has to share it with a sibling. We plan to paint animals on the walls in that room but until we do, I can’t bring myself to cover up the ones on the walls in our new room. 

Quinn cracks us up when he’s always wanting to put things in his shirt, or rather, on his belly, such as balls, tape, water from a spray bottle, a yoga block, which doesn’t fit but doesn’t matter. He’s always wanting to use the spray bottle to help “clean,” but he always ends up with wet hair and needing his shirt changed. He also likes to spray other’s bellies. Others are also not excluded from his shirt shenanigans and Philip woke up with a pretend ice cube in his shirt one morning. I told him he should just be glad it wasn’t a real one 🤷🏻‍♀️. Quinn must have been very gentle placing it in Philip’s shirt because he didn’t even know it was there until he was brushing his teeth 🤣. Quinn loves the plastic ice cubes that came in his play kitchen and I love hearing him say the words ice cube because it sounds like “asshole” for some reason 🤣. I’m not sure where his belly obsession came from, but I even have to hold it while he’s falling asleep. He literally takes my hand, pulls his shirt up, and then places my hand on his stomach 😂. He likes it when it’s his idea, he’s not a fan when he starts being a sleepy jerk, thus pinching or kicking or some other limit testing behavior, and I restrain/cuddle him. I hold his belly then so that he can’t twist and assault me. To try to persuade me to let him go, he says, “nice,” meaning he’s going to be nice 🤣🤣. 

Checking for Baby’s bellybutton

Spraying his belly 🤣

Got a drill for Easter, what did he do? 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Guess how many will fit 😉. Ignore the two black spots on the wall behind us, I’ve started drawing his elephant. 

I mean, I’d be pretty excited if my fridge had an ice maker, too 🤷🏻‍♀️  

We have to be mindful to his location as he “beeps” his safety stool all over the kitchen because if he happens upon the butter dish, there will be bites taken 🤦🏻‍♀️🧈. This has happened more than once. You can’t even get it out of the fridge without hearing, “bite!”

While he has no problem strewing random objects throughout the house, taking kitchen utensils to the bathroom, for example, for what purpose I don’t know, he does at least ask before he dumps things out 😆. He’ll say, “dump?” to make sure it’s okay. He does try to be helpful and anytime I get out the broom, he’s right behind me with his, usually sweeping the pile I’ve just collected in the opposite direction of where I’m going 🤦🏻‍♀️.  He watches me do everything and I enjoy seeing him mimic some things. I routinely pick things up from the floor with my toes and Quinn has started trying to do it 😂. I can’t wait til he can master it because that will be a fun new way to get him to clean up his toys 🤣. 

He wanted to play with oats but as soon as he was done he said, “mess” and went and got his broom to sweep it up ❤️. 

Sophie is less helpful and just using cleaning tools as pillows 🤷🏻‍♀️  

In the past week he has fearlessly mastered riding his bike down the small slope in our driveway. The neighbor girl parked her princess car in his path one day and he was even able to stop himself; a skill I didn’t know he had so I went needlessly running to save him from splattering himself against it. 

He has peed in the potty 4 1/2 times but it’s not something I’m pushing still. He occasionally tells me he wants to pee and I put him on the potty and he gets right back up without any action. I say he’s used it 4 1/2 because this most recent time literally resulted in one drop of pee but it’s still a win in my book! He often tells me he has peed after the fact and always tells me when he poops and wants his diaper changed so maybe potty training is on the horizon! 

Quinn had his second Easter yesterday and it was a great day. He’s at such a fun age. We went to my brother’s house and Lori, along with 3 of their neighbors, planned an Easter egg hunt in their yards for their kids. Quinn gathered about 15 eggs while most of the other kids got about 75 each 🤣. He became way more interested in a small bench they had in their yard and a dog statue in their garden 🤦🏻‍♀️. 

Way to find the eggs, bud 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Giving our neighbor, Megan, who was trying to illicit a smile for me, some attitude. 

Da da da da! A Reese cup! 

Some of my homemade decor: felt and pom pom garland and carrots (pictured above), and bunny garland (pictured below) 

I made the small bunnies from material I had saved from a pair of pajamas pants that belonged to my

Mom 💜. 

I’m so excited for the warmer weather coming this week so that we can play outside. Sunshine heals the soul and my boy would live outside if he could. 

I got him this awesome wind/rain shield for his stroller. It’s been so helpful recently with all the crazy wind and going for a walk 20 times a day at the toddler’s request 🙄. He literally goes and gets in the stroller and yells “ready!” until I come over to him. This shield does indeed have air holes and ventilation, in case you wanted to ask, like my husband did 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄.

I’ve got quite the story to tell about Part 2 of my miscarriage drama. Stay tuned, details will be out soon!