We had our 20-week (yay for half way!) appointment on Wednesday with anatomy scan to confirm what we already know. He’s still a boy. He was moving all over the place, which made the tech’s job easier, she said. She was able to get all her measurements quickly, which was nice except they allow an hour for this exam and then scheduled my doctor’s appointment following, so we had over an hour of wait time to then see the doctor. I see a new doctor at every visit because they rotate on call and if you’re not having a scheduled c-section (I will be), then you don’t know who you’ll get in the delivery room, so they want you to have met everyone. I really liked the doctor we met this time. The one I started with, Dr. Cooper, is retiring next week. I’m happy for him. I liked him just fine, but I’ve always been more comfortable with a female doctor and he’s the only male left in the practice. Anyway, the ultrasound tech is amazing at her job. She’s quick but thorough and gave us a million pictures. Seriously, we got 19. NINETEEN. I think I got about 5 during my entire pregnancy with Quinn 😂. When I showed Quinn the pictures we got, he wanted to hold them, and since we got so many, I decided to just give him one to have, knowing full well it will likely get ruined. He was so excited and kept saying, “My baby brother.” It was adorable 🥰.

I’m unsure if it was the confirmation that everything is on track and the baby is developing as he should or just being able to feel and see him move so much today, but it definitely feels more real now 😬. We’re going to have another baby and I don’t even know how to do that 😆. 

Quinn had a great day hanging out at Aunt Lulu and Uncle Greg’s house though. Greg showed him his Man Cave a few days ago and Quinn has talked about it since. He couldn’t wait to go play with all the cars Greg has collected. He woke up going 1,000 miles an hour that morning, excited to leave. They said he was super calm and hardly talked while he was there 🙄. That sure didn’t last. He doesn’t stop talking at home 😂. As a matter of fact, his sentences are getting longer and bossier all the time. He loves to tell us to “Go ahead” and do something. We tell him that during times of hesitation or when we want to multi-task. He tells us that to be in charge 💯 . One night he told Philip, “Dada, go ahead and get milk ready.” That was a few weeks ago, before he started adding on a “right now,” to the end of those kinds of sentences. We make him stop and rephrase by telling him to ask nicely, and then he’ll add a “please,” at least 🤦🏻‍♀️. Another of his favorites is, “Go do it. Right now,” and then, “please,” when prompted. Somehow it doesn’t feel any nicer though 🤔. He loves playing hide and seek with Philip but wants to tell him where to hide 😆. I constantly hear, “Dada hide in closet,” or “Dada hide in bed.” Sometimes he wants to hide with him and yells for Sansa and Sophie to find him. Sometimes Q just wants to find Philip. He is also getting very demanding in what kind of pictures to take of him. He’ll say, “Take picture Quinn eating naked,” (being naked means not having a shirt on) or “Picture Quinn drinking pop,” (sparkling water is his pop). While I was at my previous doctor’s appointment, Philip stayed home with Quinn since I wasn’t having an ultrasound or anything very important happening and I got a picture with that caption, as dictated by Quinn. I then sent one back to Philip that I had been instructed to take a few days before 😂.

Philip’s. (This was just after his cat chasing mishap)

Mine. 

Quinn is really starting to grasp words that denote time. He has definitely got the “right now” down, but he uses other timely words, as well. One day Philip asked him if he was going to pee in the potty that day and Quinn replied, “No, tomorrow.” He routinely tells us, “No diaper change. Soon,” when he thinks he can delay that happening. He’ll say he’s going to do something, “real quick,” like “Take shoes off real quick,” as he’s heard us say about actions. Just in the last few days he has started using the past tense and told me his, “motorcycle broke last night.” He told Philip he wanted to go outside and check the mail, something they had already done earlier in the day and Philip told him so. Quinn said, “No, last night,” telling him that had happened the night before 😆.

I laugh every time he leaves the room saying, “I’ll be back,” a non-accented mini-Arnold Schwarzenegger, apparently. He follows that up with, “I back now,” when he reenters the room. He’s great about trying to help me do things, like change the bed clothes, and has no problem telling me when he can’t do something. “I can’t do it. Too hard. Mama do it.” He got confused the other day though and brought me his empty cup saying, “Not working,” because he couldn’t get a drink 🤣. I pulled a muscle in my back over the weekend and have had a hard time doing any sort of bending or lifting and Q has really been great at handing me things on the floor and being understanding when I can’t pick him up. He knows things he isn’t allowed to have and if he comes within grabbing range of the adult scissors, he’ll hand them to me and say, “Here, Mama.” He could just, you know, not touch them, but I would rather he not be tempted 😂🤦🏻‍♀️. He sure knows what he wants most of the time and doesn’t hesitate to tell anyone. He also knows what he doesn’t want and doesn’t hesitate to tell anyone 😜. If I ask him if I can have a kiss, he’ll tell me, “No, bink in,” but then will remove it and kiss his own finger and laugh. He thinks it’s really funny to give kisses or hugs to someone else when asked. He hugged himself instead of me one day, too 🤦🏻‍♀️. Little shit. He loves to make us laugh and we love that about him. When he’s sitting at the table eating dinner, if he knows I’m watching him, he’ll open his mouth as wide as he can to take a bite. I was trying to take a pic of him wearing some pajamas that Mimi got for him one evening. I told him to show me his happy face, but he decided to instead turn around. When I said I didn’t want to see his butt, he kept laughing and sticking it out toward me 😆. He’s a little mockingbird and has repeated some things that were super funny. Sophie is an attention seeker who only wants love on her schedule, so any time Quinn tries to pet her without her asking, she growls like a jerk. He was being very gentle with her one night, but she growled anyway, so I said, “Sophie, stop it you mean ass.” What do you think Quinn said? “Sophie mean ass. Kiss her foot,” as he then proceeded to kiss her foot for who know what reason 🤮. 

I took Q to the store one day and as soon as we got home, he wanted a million things at once—watermelon cut up, mac and cheese made, shoes off, Blippi turned on, etc. As soon as I got his mac and cheese made, he said he wanted to go outside. Having had enough of his parade of demands, I said, “You just wait a minute, your mac and cheese is done.” He responded, “Mama a sassy boy.” 🤣🤣🤣 I laughed so hard. I was telling Philip that story later during our walk and he asked Quinn if I was a sassy boy and Quinn said, “Sometimes.” I couldn’t argue with that except for the boy part 😆. 

I have a confession to make: we just ditched our bedtime bottle. I know, I know. He’s two. We should’ve done this a while ago. He’s very capable of drinking from an open cup without spilling so a sippy is no big deal. However, whenever I thought to try to start the transition at bedtime, he would be tired, and I would be tired because that’s how I live my life now, and the struggle just didn’t seem worth it. Sometimes I would ask if he wanted his milk in a “big boy” cup and he would get upset. I could make another excuse about how the bottles we had are designed to be as close to breast feeding as possible and it would be okay for me to still be breast feeding but you know what? I don’t even care about making excuses. Judge away! I finally decided to just do it and it went ridiculously smooth and he doesn’t even miss it 🤦🏻‍♀️. I told him I needed to talk to him about something one morning. I said that his bottles were yucky now and we really needed to throw them away, but he could go to the store and pick out new cups. We went to Walmart (super early in the morning, which I highly recommend, by the way, because it’s better for avoiding A) covid, RSV, and the flu, and B) most people. My hiatus from society has definitely weakened my tolerance for dealing with those less socially skilled 🙄). I let him pick out several new “big boy” cups and when we got home, I asked him to throw his bottles away. He did it without any protest. He mentioned them one time afterwards but just to acknowledge they were gone. Something interesting happened though and that is him not actually wanting milk to go to sleep now. He used to drink a full bottle and then pass out, which was terrible for his teeth and the real reason I even decided to finally make this change. We would brush his teeth before bed but then he would drink all that milk and I worried about him getting cavities. Now he just takes a drink from his cup, tells me to put it up or just holds onto it, and that’s it. He actually woke up with a dry diaper two days in a row. This is a great sign for potty training. While I know breaking this habit is recommended to happen much sooner than it did, I’m so happy that it went over so smoothly and he was completely okay with it. He had his first dental appointment last week and everything looks great. Next up is breaking the bink habit. We’ll work on it and ditch it when he’s ready. I’m very into a child led process for parenting. This doesn’t translate to not working toward behavioral milestones but we won’t push processes that he isn’t ready for just for the sake of meeting some arbitrary deadline. Just as this one went, I aspire for toilet learning to go the same in that he transitions easily because he’s ready. 

He did so well! I was so proud of him 🤗. Sarah, his dental hygienist, recommended getting him an electric toothbrush when I told her brushing is sometimes a struggle. Because he’s afraid of so many noisy toys, I didn’t want to invest in anything expensive right away and opted to get him a Spider-Man Spin Brush to try. He loves it and now wants to brush his teeth at night 🙌🏻.

Quinn’s imagination is really developing right now and he’s very into pretend play. He has recently started wanting to pretend to drive in our vehicles (an activity that always has to be closely supervised and the reason why vehicles shouldn’t be left unlocked for a child to have access to—former Child Passenger Safety Technician here 😉). To satisfy his interest in that, I got him a steering wheel toy that can suction to the glass pane on our front door. He loved pretending to drive and played different scenarios, like driving Damon (his doll) to the doctor, and driving to the store to buy milk or juice. He would tell me he was dropping Damon off at the doctor and then he was, “Back now.” He also used his doctor kit to examine and administer medicine (air) to Damon, Philip, and me. He loves playing with his trucks and tells me he is mowing grass or taking an ambulance to help someone. Sometimes he’ll smash two together and say, “crackkkkkk,” instead of crash 🤣. He’s learning to recognize shapes in every day objects. We play with foam shapes in the bath tub and talk about them and he told me the yellow square was a slice of cheese 😄. A few weeks ago, when we were coloring a fall picture, he was using both a red and yellow paint stick at the same time and told me they were ketchup and mustard as he scribbled with both hands at the same time 😂. I guess this boy likes food. 

I guess he literally dropped Damon off 🤷🏻‍♀️😆.

He also likes to pretend to talk on the phone. Usually when I ask he says he’s talking to “Marsha Kim.” When I ask who that is, he’ll say, “Mimi Kiki.”  I gave him a cell phone I had when I first started college. It doesn’t work anymore but he still likes it 🙂.

Ketchup and mustard 😉.

Pretty Fall leaves 😊.

We do lots of learning in the bathtub. He wants to take a bath the moment he wakes up every day so I have to come up with things to keep me awake. I do make him wait until I make my coffee first though 😄. The shapes are our latest addition to bath time. I like to soap him up and then stick them to him. Especially places he can’t reach 😂. He thinks that’s funny. I mixed up some soap paint and water in a spray bottle and stuck the shapes on the walls of the tub and let him spray them down. I’m pretty sure there’s still green and blue misted on the back wall from where he also tried to spray down the razor holder 🤦🏻‍♀️. 

He can recognize a triangle, star, and heart. 

Philip and I finally got a day away while Quinn stayed with Kiki last weekend for a bit. Even though we just went shopping at Sam’s Club and Ollie’s, and ate out, it was definitely needed and nice to do something that we spent 17 years doing before Quinn, and then Covid, changed our lives.  

We’ve been enjoying the cooler weather, playing outside and doing lots of Fall activities. 

We went to the Autumn Fest…

Where Quinn got kissed by a goat 😂.

We visited a friend’s farm twice, where he got to pet and comb some cows 🙂,

Sit on a tractor 😃,

And pet the dogs 😍. He still talks about it most days. 

We baked and decorated Fall cookies. 

We attempted to carve a pumpkin, but as you can see by his facial expression, he wasn’t a fan of digging out the guts 😂

He said he wanted a mad face on it so Philip drew one with the intention of carving it. However, Quinn then wanted to draw on it. 

This is our finished product 🤣.

While he didn’t like digging them out, he sure does like eating the pumpkin seeds after we roasted and seasoned them. 

I made him a Fall sensory scene and when I tried to take a pic of him playing with it, he grabbed his ears like this 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️.

Even Baby Sansa got in on the fun 😉.

We had a Fall photo shoot. One of our neighbors offered to let us take a pic in his backyard, using this pump as a prop. 

We made our way down to the field below our house for some nature shots. This wild boy ran from me so I gave him a pumpkin to hold to at least make the chase festive 😂. This pumpkin, by the way, was given to him by his friends, Grace and Ridleigh. They’re actually Kate and Link’s friends but they went to a pumpkin patch and thought of him and brought it home for him. I thought that was so sweet 🥰. 

I hauled all of this down to the field in our wagon. Our other neighbor messaged me to ask if I was alright, as she saw me taking a pumpkin for a walk 🤪.

These next few were completely unplanned and happened because he kept avoiding me 🙄. 

They still turned out pretty good though, in my opinion 🙂.

If I had known he was going to go into the weeds, I would’ve put a brighter colored shirt on him 😉.

We got all loaded up to go home and I couldn’t help but take one more 😊. I’m not sure which one weighs more. That pumpkin is huge!

He was so excited when he received a Halloween card in the mail from Mimi and Pap Brad tonight! He loves opening the mail. I love giving him the junk that I don’t want to open 😂. 

After I read it to him, he wanted to color it. He kept saying, “Card from Mimi and Pap” 🥰.

 

Trick or Treat is tomorrow and I’m hoping we can go since the forecast says rain 😩. 

Before I had Quinn I always feared that the neediness of a baby would be too much for me. Turns out, Sophie is 10x more annoying than he has ever been 😂. Our kitchen is big enough to house a gigantic concrete table and has tons of counter space. However, the area where the cooking action takes place, aka where the food is, aka where the dogs want to be, is a very narrow space about this wide |———|, with the stove on one side and the fridge on the other. The four legged children, especially the big brown one, love to lay right in the middle of this walkway. The white one is incapable of standing perpendicular in any area and instead forms a blockade with her body everywhere she goes, living her life completely oblivious to others around her and my mounting rage. Couple them with the miniature chef, on his stool at the sink, mixing clean dishes from the drainer with dirty dishes in the sink, and the likelihood of me exploding is eminent. The girls are often told to GTFO in an impolite way. However, when they’re not being 100% annoying and Quinn just yells at Sophie to, “Go” or “Move,” for no good reason, it makes me pause and think about how he’s learning to speak to other beings. Like, I want to be able to yell at them but I don’t want him to do it 😂🤷🏻‍♀️.

She is always where we are. Philip was sleeping on the couch. She didn’t mind that she didn’t quite fit all the way 🙄.

Watching us outside. 

Crowding me on the chair. 

Wondering what we’re talking about 🙄.

Watching tv. 
I can’t even sit at the table alone. 

She, and Sansa, too, were good sports about wearing my shirts though, when I put them on them to entertain Quinn 😂. He thought it was hilarious they were wearing clothes. 

We’ve had a rough start to Fall. Aside from the boo boo to his face, which has healed very nicely, we had 5 consecutive days of Yes-No-Indecisive-Two-Year-Old-Hell. He literally whined about everything, tested every limit (pulled my hair, forcefully shoved his fingers in my mouth and scratched my gum, intentionally poured a cup of bath water all over the floor, put every nonfood item in his mouth, refused to clean up, to name a few), immediately retracted any decision he made when granted his wishes (he insisted on walking but then would say, “no walk” when we tried to get him out of his stroller to let him walk. Then when we continued walking, he would cry and want to walk. Or would say he wanted a specific thing to eat but then didn’t want it as soon as you gave it to him) and was just generally unpleasant and exhausting. FIVE DAYS. I think Day Five was the peak. He cried. I cried. It was awful, to put it mildly. I lost my calm and struggled all day to get it back. The only redeeming part to the day was our bedtime reconnect. I lay with him while he falls asleep every night and on days like these, cuddles go a long way toward my sanity restoration. He woke up the next morning, back to himself with only a few minor disagreements. The following day was great. I only wish I knew what caused this monumental meltdown so that I could try to overcome it in the future with a better understanding of what I was dealing with. He said nothing hurt. He wasn’t sick. He was just in a mood. A terrible, terrible one. It takes a lot to break me, but I assure you, by the end of day four and the entire day five, I was done. I had nothing left. I couldn’t even give him a good explanation when I was crying and he said, “Mama sad.” Once I gathered myself a bit, I did tell him that I was frustrated and that sometimes I cry when I’m frustrated. That was the best I could do in that moment. I felt like a failure. I detest people who give the useless, “Enjoy every minute of it,” advice. No one enjoys every minute of it. No one. It’s impossible to enjoy being overwhelmed, touched out, and feeling helpless and wanting nothing more than five minutes of peace. However, when we finally ride the roller coaster back down the hill and return to our land of normal, I can appreciate all the “hug me” requests and tolerate the “Mama, come here,” demands. I know that one day those hugs will come with only one arm, he won’t need me to help him open, fix, or play with his toys, he won’t want me to snuggle him to sleep, he’ll be too cool to kiss his mother, and “Mama” and “Mommy” will change to just, “Mom.” Those really, really hard days sure help to shed some sunshine on the good ones, that’s for sure.  

He says, “Hug you,” when he wants me to give him a hug 🥰.

This is how he falls asleep most days ❤️. 

I’ve been feeling like the days are very long and hadn’t put much thought into why until my mother-in-law asked if I missed going to the market. Even though it was only one day, it was something to break up the monotony of the week. While we’re still being cautious, I have started to venture out when needed, although limiting any indoor outings to being as brief as possible and preferably at low crowd times. Quinn is usually compliant at wearing his mask, at least for short amounts of time. He hasn’t been in stores for months now so that made life a little more difficult, planning groceries around pick up orders or Philip’s work schedule. Considering his lack of exposure to public places, I hope that one day, when life is normal, Quinn will learn how to behave when we’re out. He’s pretty good so far but he’s not allowed to leave the cart. I don’t care about public embarrassment around toddler meltdowns, thankfully, because I’m sure there will come a day. He has never eaten at a sit-down restaurant that wasn’t fast food. Lots of leeway should be given to parents of young children during this time as some will be learning niceties a little later in the game. 

By the way, he picked out his own outfit and I didn’t let myself make him change. See how strong I am? 😂

I woke up before Quinn from our nap the other day and was thinking about how I wasn’t properly prepared for this stage of parenthood. So I decided to write an ad to see if parenting a two year old would appeal to any of you non parents. Here goes: 

Do you like power struggles and repeating yourself 465 times a day? Or listening to someone else repeat themselves 50 times per one request? 

How about cleaning up the same shit over and over again? How do you feel about being bossed around by a tiny human? Interested? Do you get lonely while using the bathroom and would like someone to talk to? Do you like listening to whining over such mundane things as wanting you to help take their shirt off while you’re doing the dishes? Let’s not forget about sleep; does being anchored by a sweaty little human who sleeps in just the right position so as to take up the most space possible sound like a good time? If you answered yes to the majority of these questions, I’ve got just the job for you! 

If you like any of that, then all the good shit will just be icing on the cake 🤪. 

Not only does he take up all the room, now we have to accommodate Damon, his doll, too 😂. I guess this is giving me a preview of my life in the not so distant future. 

Anyway, on a positive note, Quinn continues to surprise me with the things he thinks and says. He woke up one morning and the first thing he said was, “I want chocolate!” 🙄 A few days later he told me, “Chips,” when I asked what he wanted to eat. I replied, “For breakfast?!” He then told me, “Go ahead and get some now.” 🙄 Sure thing, I’ll get right on that, boss 🙄🙄🙄. The cooler morning weather hasn’t changed his desire to never wear clothes and he tries to go outside in just his diaper, pretty much every day. When I tell him he has to put clothes on, he argues, “Outside naked.” 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 His back seat driving has evolved, and he notices every traffic light, narrating, “Red now,” or “Green now. Go.” When I tell him I can’t because there are people in front of me, he says, “Move people! Go real fast!” 🤣 I agree 😉. He really has his colors down and likes to assign them to us on our nightly walk, as we get close to where he’s allowed to ride on Philip’s shoulders for a “horse ride.” Typically, Philip is a yellow horse, sometimes I’m purple, and Sansa and Sophie are almost always black. We have no idea how this system is configured 😂. His dad taught him where his Adam’s apple is located, and he enjoys finding it on himself and others. He insists on throwing my head back and touching my throat to identify, “Mama apple,” even though I’ve told him most girls don’t have apples. He was pushing Sansa’s chin up the other day and when I told him to stop and be nice to Sansa, he showed me where her “apple” is 🤦🏻‍♀️.  Having heard not much else during Five Days of Hell, he now threatens himself with time out. I told him he needed to clean up his play dough before he got out a new toy and he refused. Before I even got the chance, he said, “Time out.” I asked if he needed to go in time out and he said, “No. Clean up,” and then went over and cleaned it up 😂😂😂. Oh man, if only….

He has encroached even further into my personal space as I can no longer bathe alone. On days when I don’t feel like washing my hair, I will just take a quick a bath to wash off, but I can’t do it alone. Quinn will strip faster than I can say, “No,” and get his little naked ass into the tub 🤦🏻‍♀️. I tried to be sneaky one day; I got him settled on the couch, watching a dinosaur show, closed the door but didn’t latch it, and started my water. I no more than got in the tub and he came bursting through the door, completely naked and got in. I asked where his diaper was and he said, “Living room.” He likes to argue with me, saying, “Quinn bath.” I retort with, “Mama’s bath,” and we go back and forth. He then takes it up a notch and says, “I said, Quinn bath!” 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️😂 He’s such a shit. That’s not the only thing he argues about, often saying, “Yes, yes, yes,” or “No, no, no” to, well, anything I tell him to do basically. Philip sometimes hears these exchanges when he’s downstairs and asks about them. I’ll be like, “Oh, he didn’t want to get his diaper changed,” or something equally as tedious. He has learned the occasions that require his acknowledgment of compliance and when he asks for certain things, he automatically tells me, “Good boy,” giving his consent 😂. He really likes to play with different sensory materials, but he also likes to test his mother’s patience by putting said materials in his mouth, which gets them taken away. One of these is the lentils box that he uses to scoop and move with his construction vehicles. He’ll say, “Mama, lentils. Good boy.” 🤣 I never fully believe him, but I always let him try. He has gotten better about not putting them in his mouth, considering I’ve taken them away from him for that exact reason about 984 times now 🙄, but still tests me occasionally. 

He loves taking a bath so much that I thought he would like giving his animals one, too. I got a new head in the mail for my Burst toothbrush so I let him use the old one to scrub his toys. We also washed his pumpkin before painting it and he constantly tells me that he wants to “give pumpkin bath again.” 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think most of the above mentioned struggles wouldn’t be nearly as difficult if I wasn’t an emotional basket case from being pregnant. Pregnancy, to me, is mostly an inconvenience 😂. I can’t mow the yard anymore, I can’t ride my bike, I can’t lift heavy things (ok, maybe that’s a perk),  I’m fat (don’t even tell me it’s just the baby, blah, blah, blah), I’m always tired, and those last two things are only going to get worse. Blah. I have started to feel the bugger move, which is both creepy and reassuring at the same time. Two nights ago I felt a very forceful push from the inside while laying down for bed. He’s already trying to escape at only 17 weeks 🤦🏻‍♀️. Feeling him move does help make it feel more real. I know our last ultrasound showed everything to be growing correctly and the NIPT test, which revealed the gender and a low risk for genetic disorders, gave us some reassurance, but pregnancy after miscarriage is different than one without that prior experience. I’ve not allowed myself to get attached in any way and wasn’t sure when I would feel like it was actually going to happen. My next appointment will go a long way toward easing those feelings of doubt though because it’s an hour long ultrasound where every body part will be measured. It does feel more real now but I think until he’s born, I may have a small seed of doubt in the back of mind that everything will work out. And if you’re wondering, no, we don’t have any names picked out yet 🤪.

I’m 18 weeks today and the Baby Center app told me the baby is the size of a bell pepper. I have two plants in my garden still, full of babies; how am I going to eat them now?! 😜

My other children are good. Soph has been a grump ass toward Quinn lately, for some reason. She’ll give him all the kisses she wants but if he tries to pet her, she growls like a jerk 🙄. She enjoys seeing her friends on our nightly walks though, and that’s something they have in common. 

All of them enjoy my homemade treats 😂😉.

Poor thing never gets enough attention 🙄

Ever. 

🤦🏻‍♀️😂.
Luckily, Sansa tolerates his lovins well. 


We got to see Philip’s brother and family for the first time in months a few weekends ago and I’m happy to report that Quinn has indeed grown:

He’s finally taller than their dog, Dexter 😂.