I broke my promise. Well, actually, I didn’t because I said I would try to get back to a two week schedule with posting and I did try. At the end of most days, I have no mental energy left to write. It’s exhausting answering questions all day. I often think if I hear, “Hey Mom,” or “Why?,” one more time, my head might explode 🤯.
Having two kids is so much harder than only having one 😂. Those of you with one who plan to have another, take note: lower your standards for productivity and you’ll be much less stressed. Like, just throw that bar on the ground, that way you can be proud of yourself for accomplishing, well, anything, ever.
Quinn turned three last weekend. This is BY FAR the hardest parenting stage we have encountered. My friend, Kim, taught a classroom full of three year olds for years, and she warned me that three is awful but I had no idea. I’m convinced that whoever coined the term “terrible twos” just didn’t know what was coming. We’ve had weeks on end of trying behavior, sassiness, and O.M.G. the WHINING 😩. We even had our first public tantrum—I carried him screaming across the entirety of Bruce Park during the Arts in the Park 4th of July celebration while about 100 people watched. As we walked through the parking lot, a young woman kept staring at us as if I was abducting him. I was going to tell her, “Don’t worry, he’s mine,” but didn’t bother. I kept my cool until I went to put him in his car seat and he started thrashing around. That’s when I yelled at him. I knew I was getting too heated so I strapped his top buckle so he couldn’t get out and stepped back to take a couple of breaths. I got into my seat to start the car for the AC and he thought I was leaving him half buckled, so he started screaming about needing buckled in. He has been very concerned with safety recently (he buckles himself in the cart at Walmart 😅), so he let me come snap his crotch straps without a fight and then we left. Ten minutes later, we were at home and he was asleep in bed. We survived but it wasn’t pretty. I surprised myself by not giving a shit that people were watching my kid have a meltdown. It happens. He was completely overtired. We still nap for a reason. He needs it. And I need it 😜.
I may have felt confident handling that situation but just a few days prior he had me questioning everything I thought I knew. Up until this point, I’ve felt as though disciplining has come fairly easily to me. There are actions and those actions have consequences, some natural and some parent imposed, but the lines were pretty clear. On the night that rattled my brain, Quinn bit Asher on the hand and I just could not decide on an appropriate punishment. I know that he genuinely felt remorseful for what he did. I was yelling at him to look at Asher’s face as he was screaming in pain and Quinn started sobbing himself. He apologized several times while he was sitting in time out. We don’t want to spank him (I have before and it feels wrong. I won’t debate that with anyone. I don’t care that you were spanked and you turned out alright. You probably have more issues stemming from it than you realize), but how do you adequately communicate the seriousness of what he did? He has to know that he can’t do it again. We made him go to bed early that night, mostly because we were done with his shit for the day, and I talked to him before he went to sleep. I tried gaining some insight into his little brain about what might have caused him to do what he did. He told me that Asher chews on his hand all the time 🤯. I said, “Yes, but Asher doesn’t have teeth” 🤦🏻♀️. I hope that incident was a mistake and not malicious, and we won’t have another.
Quinn loves Asher so much, which is great, of course, but it’s obnoxious how much he wants to touch him all the time. Actually, it’s kind of annoying how much all kids want to touch him all the time. I guess I didn’t realize how baby crazy other kids are because when Quinn was small, I didn’t go to all of the kid things; well, except for playgroup, but that was because I worked there and I or one of my co-workers always had Quinn or he was in my office. So that made for less opportunity for touching. They all want to come touch his feet, or worse, his hands 😳. He puts his hands in his mouth and we all know where other kids put their hands—on any disgusting thing they can find, including up their nose, so touching his hands is a bad idea. A girl from another neighborhood, who is friends with a girl in our neighborhood, stopped by one day to ask if she could play with Quinn because her friend wasn’t home. Mind you, this girl is around 10 so I’m wasn’t sure why she wanted to play with a 2 year old. But then I realized, she really just wanted to see Asher 🙄. She volunteered to burp him (Hard no), gave me advice on when he will talk (🙄), and literally tried taking his bottle out of my hand to try to feed him (🤬). I was telling Philip about it later that day and (jokingly, kinda) said I was ready to chop her hand off at that point. Guess what little ears picked up that phrase? You got it. Quinn now threatens to chop off our body parts, progressing from just a hand, to now our faces 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️.
Anyway, because Quinn is in an ego-centric state of development, he is unable to think of Asher in terms of being a living, breathing being with feelings of his own. Oh, Asher is sleeping peacefully on his side? Quinn will reach over and grab his arm, pulling him onto his back, waking him up, all for the sake of holding his hand. Oh, Asher is finally back asleep after fussing from his impromptu position change? Quinn will suddenly get the urge to rub his ear. He saw me changing Asher’s clothes the other day and said, “Leave that belly out so I can touch it.” LEAVE HIM ALONE, Child. Ugh.
Quinn always wants Asher to lay by him in the bed, but he can’t be trusted to do that because of the way he thrashes about in his sleep. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been startled awake from his butt crashing into my chest.
When Quinn wakes up and Ash is still asleep, I let Quinn think he’s doing an important job if I have to get up to get my pump or Asher’s milk—I ask him if he can keep Ash safe until I get back…even when Asher couldn’t roll over yet and there was no real risk by leaving him in the bed. Quinn takes his job very seriously, and always tells me he will. Ash was hanging out in his seat one morning, strapped in and no where to go, when I told Quinn I was going to take a shower. I asked if he would keep an eye on Asher while I did and he said he would. However, right before I got in, Ash started fussing so I mentioned moving him into the bathroom with me. Quinn was not having it! He very adamantly told me, “No! I’m gonna watch him!” 😂😂😂 Okay, boss 🤪. He can either fuss in the living room or fuss in the bathroom, it doesn’t make much difference, other than I could try to talk to him while in the shower and calm him down.
It’s a good thing we work up to three because if we just got this attitude right out of the gate, no one would ever have a second child 😂. Mannnnn, is he stubborn these days. He won’t do or stop doing anything until I tell him four times and then yell. It’s like, the more he wants something, the less his ears work. He picks the weirdest hills to die on, too. Like, the other day, he insisted on “helping” me when I said I was going to the basement to do a load of laundry. Sometimes he will switch the clothes from the washer to the dryer but he decided that day to just stand in front of the washer and be in my way. I asked him to move and he said, “No.” I moved him and he came back. I told him to move or go in time-out, still he refused. I moved him and told him when I finished putting the clothes in the washer, he was going upstairs into time-out. In Pre-Asher days, I would’ve stopped what I was doing right that second and carried his little ass up to time-out. However, I now have to take laundry breaks when I can get them and Asher was sleeping at that moment. Anyway, I ended up having to block him from coming in my way and then carry him upstairs, screaming, for a time-out. All because he wanted to stand in my way for no reason. Like, really?? That’s what you’re going to get time-out for? 🙄🤦🏻♀️ We were outside a little while later and Quinn said, “Mama, I’m sorry.” I asked what he was sorry for and he said, “For being in you way when you were doing laundry.” 🥰 Ahhh, if only those sweet moments weren’t so fleeting. He really is good about saying “I’m sorry” genuinely, and giving sincere thank you’s. I mean, they’re usually for things you wouldn’t expect—“Thank you for getting me Goldfish at the store,” and “Thank you for cleaning my room.” He should appreciate that last one because I almost always make him help and the one time I did it myself (only because I wanted it done quickly), he was appreciative. He also thanks me when I compliment him. I told him he was good at climbing and he said, “Thanks, Mom.” When I didn’t respond, he told me again, so I had to tell him, “You’re welcome.” 😆
You know what wears me out the most? He talks so much. Like nonstop. I truly get overwhelmed sometimes from all the input he outputs. Especially when it involves questions while I’m trying to do something. That’s a big trigger for me. When I’m not completely overloaded, I can laugh at some of the silly and surprising things he says, like:
“Mom I brought Ash a toy, and a shooter to shoot you.” Ok, cool. 🤦🏻♀️
“Mom, are you ready to dance like a dinosaur?” This one will come out of nowhere. Like, I’ll be doing dishes or something and he’ll just walk in and say this.
*Laying in bed*
Asher: ~toot~
Q: “Did Ash just toot?”
M: “Yeah.”
Q: “Haha! Now you have two tooty boys!”
🤦🏻♀️ I wasn’t aware of this before he said it. Yay.
I drink Body Armor to help keep me hydrated when I get tired of water, to help with my milk production. Quinn always wants some.
Q: “Mom, I want some of your drink.”
M: “Okay, I’ll put some in a cup for you.”
Q: “No, I want my own.”
M: “No. I’ll put some in a cup for you and if you drink all of it, I’ll give you some more.”
Q: “Why?”
M: “Because I need to drink it.”
*I put some in a cup and went in another room*
Q: “Dad, why I can’t have my own Mom’s drink?”
P: “Because she needs it to make milk for Ash.”
Q: “If I drink it, I will make milk?”
😂😂😂😂
One of my least favorite things is he says my name, but then doesn’t tell me what he wants 😡.
Q: Mom
M: What?
Q: ………
Q: Mom
M: What??
Q: ………
Q: Mom
M: WHAT, QUINN??
Q: Did you know monkeys climb in trees sometimes?
M: 🤦🏻♀️
Some of my favorite things he says involve phrases that he has picked up from us; like during the following conversation:
Philip: Quinn what do you want to watch?
Q: the Spider-Man swimming.
P: those 3 Spider-Man?
Q: the Spider-Man swimming.
P: I don’t see a Spider-Man swimming. This one? *points to 3 Spider-Man video*
Q: Dad, are you listening to me??
M: 😂😂😂😂😂
The other night when we were going to bed, he started out having a conversation that we have most nights, and then just randomly said, “Okay, let’s get tired. Sometimes you say that but now sometimes I say it.” As if I was the one who would keep him awake talking 🙄🤦🏻♀️🤪.
Due to Philip deploying a character called “Mr. Toothbrush,” who incidentally sounds like Mr. Hanky, for any of you South Park fans, while brushing Quinn’s teeth, Quinn has started using different voices to pretend to talk for other people. It is quite amusing. You never know what you may sound like from day to day. Speaking of Mr. Toothbrush, that has been a great strategy to get Quinn to cooperate for toothbrushing because the toothbrush asks him what kind of food he’s going to find in Quinn’s mouth that he ate that day, and then he finds it and brushes it away. Quinn loves recounting what he has eaten and sometimes things he didn’t even eat 😂. Speaking of saying, “Speaking of,” Quinn has picked that phrase up, too. Only he says it about things no one is speaking of and about two unrelated things. Like, “Speaking of my dinosaurs, we can go to the pool later!” 😂
He picks up phrases from other people also. A few months ago was the first time I heard him say something he heard on T-Rex Ranch. Our neighbor, Tina, sent us over a gift for Asher and it had some bubbles in it for Quinn, too. When he found them in the bag, he said, “Bubbles! Let’s open these bad boys up!” It was a cold day in early spring and we were stuck inside, so that was a no. Lol.
Another one he says all the time is, “Let’s get geared up,” when he needs to put his shoes on to go outside 😂.
He reallllllyy likes to call people “shit”s, as in, “Don’t be a shit.” He said to me the other day, “Mom, don’t be a shit,” and I told him we don’t say that, it’s not nice. He said, “We DO say that; don’t be a shit, Mom.” 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Quinn got upset one day while I was digging ice out of the bottom of the freezer (it happens all of the time from him opening it and not closing it back all of the way). Ice got on the floor and Quinn was picking it up and eating it 🙄. His hand got too cold from holding it, so he started crying and told me to warm it up. Yes, the ice 🤦🏻♀️. I laughed but he did not think it was funny and that only made him more mad 😂.
We were laying in bed one night when he suddenly said that he wanted to get a toy to sleep with. I told him could go get one, thinking he was going to get a stuffed animal. He came back with a tractor 🤦🏻♀️.
I know that it’s hard for Quinn to adjust from
having all of attention to himself to sharing it with Ash and all of the things I have to get done. Well, try to get done. For this reason, it seems as though he waits all day for Philip to be done working so he can play with him. As soon as he is, Quinn goes with him for the majority of the evening. It started to feel as though Philip and I each had a child, because connecting with Quinn has been difficult for me lately. I’m constantly the disciplinarian to his incessant testing and he rarely pulls that with Philip. They have a lot of fun together because Philip is way better at pretend play than I am, which is kind of unexpected. To me, anyway. I’m pretty creative and crafty but I’m way more likely to offer a structured activity, or at least one that has been planned, and Philip will have him outside pretending to swim in the grass and hunting dinosaurs with an imaginary sleepy dart shooter. Quinn and I have done some things recently, just the two of us, like going to the pool, a quick trip to the Back Home Festival, and the 4th of July event, and that was nice (before the meltdown, of course).
I hope this difficult season with Quinn will pass quickly and we will get back to good before long.
Both boys had their well checks in the last two weeks. Quinn is surprisingly hanging out at the 76th percentile for height, inheriting that from who knows where 😂. Asher is meeting his milestones—giggling, rolling from back to belly, and finding his toes. He tried for a week to get them in his mouth and finally achieved it today 👏🏻. Everything else is fair game too; if he can reach it, he will slime it. Giving him a bath now takes 3 washcloths-one for my protection over his weiner, one for him to gnaw on, and one to wash him. I used to only have two, but he kept uncovering his horn and leaving me vulnerable, so I added a third. Makes for more laundry that way but not getting peed on is worth it. He made his first mess (with his hands 🤪) at the library this week by grabbing the juice pouch I was opening for Quinn, causing it to squeeze juice on the floor 🤦🏻♀️. One of his favorite things to grab is Philip’s beard. He giggles every time 🥰. His hand/eye coordination is getting better and he can sometimes put his bink back in his mouth when it falls out. That’s a very useful skill for him to have 😉. He understands when I’m giving him a kiss and opens his mouth 😂. We’ve been doing much better with nursing and he does that about half the time now. I’m still pumping a few times a day though to keep my supply up. I got down to my last bag of frozen milk and kind of panicked so I drank lots and pumped lots and built my stash back up.
Success! 😂.
Ash has been having some poop issues so his doctor said we could start some solid foods and it may help with that. I’m not in a hurry though so we haven’t yet.
I’m fearful that Asher is going to be as much of a talker as Quinn some day, because he already demands attention. If you’re sitting by him and he’s not preoccupied with mouthing something, he will goo and gah until you talk to him. He kept his dad talking to him for over 20 minutes one day 😂. Can’t wait until both chatterboxes are running around my house, asking me a million questions a minute 😑.
We’re going to have to work a little harder to make sure Ash has plenty of enrichment so he can reach his full potential. When Quinn was a baby, we rarely turned on the TV. He didn’t watch a single show until he was around 18 months old. Now, the TV is on constantly and Asher definitely notices. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time until 2 years old. While I don’t purposefully sit him in front of the TV, if I notice he is occupied with it, I will hurry off to do some dishes or another chore while I can. Ten minutes here and there wont rot his brain too much, right? 😬. It’s funny how the standards change with baby #2. Sorry, Ash 😘.
The time until a child turns 3 is called the first thousand days of life, and during this period is when the most brain development happens. I think we made our best efforts in helping Quinn develop. He reached many milestones before his third birthday and I’m so proud of him!
Most of you probably saw my post on FB—Quinn tested positive for covid on Friday. This is the first time any of us have had it. He was fevered for two days. The first day was so quiet, he mostly watched TV and slept. The second brought the return of his sassiness so he was obviously feeling better 🙄. He has been fever free for 48 hours now so I think the worst is over for him. Asher had a fever when he woke up from nap yesterday, and then he also tested positive. He was up on and off all night last night but hasn’t been fevered today. Philip and I tested positive today though. We have sore throats, dry coughs, itchy ears, drainage, runny nose, and migraines. Philip gets migraines regularly and we suspect they are related to allergies. I get ocular migraines. If you don’t know what those are, it’s when your vision become obscured by squiggly flashes of light. That’s the best way I can describe it. They are sometimes accompanied by facial numbness and/or nausea that lasts for a day or two afterward. I got my first one when I was 13. I don’t get them regularly anymore, usually just during times of extreme stress or illness. When I was helping care for my mom during the end of her life, I was getting them constantly. I didn’t have them for a few years after that but did again when Quinn was first born due to lack of sleep. I hadn’t had one in about two years prior to today.
Philip and I are both vaccinated, so hopefully it will be a mild case. The day that Quinn spiked a fever, I had just talked to his doctor at his well check about getting him vaccinated now that the vaccine has been approved for his age range. Dr. Gary said it would be a good idea since Quinn hadn’t had covid before. So much for that 😑. Asher isn’t eligible for the vaccine until he’s 6 months old but he may not need it now. We are all quarantined until Friday, pending no symptoms 48 hours prior. Thank you to everyone who has checked on us and offered to get anything we need. You all are appreciated more than you know ❤️.
I feel like a need to make an announcement about my hair. Every. Single. Person. who has seen me since last fall has told me how long my hair is 😂. I know guys, I know. I measured it; it’s 2’ 3” long. I don’t particularly want it this long but getting it cut hasn’t been a priority yet. I imagine when I start sitting or peeing on it, that will move up the list 😜.
Now for your Pupdate:
Sophie is adjusting to life as an only dog. She has even started to like Quinn a little more. Well, maybe tolerate is a better word than like 😆. She allows him to pet her without growling most of the time. I think she would still prefer to have a sister but her personality is becoming more independent on her own.
“Excuse me, Mom. It’s time for my dinner. I need you to get up.”-Soph
We’ve been enjoying the ocean theme at Story Hour.
We borrowed and read a book about birds and then made some bird feeders.
We played in the sprinkler.
I put the boys to work mowing the yard (1)
(2) 😉
We made collage art. I drew the tree and cut out the bird and grass strips. Quinn helped use the stamp to cut out the leaves and glued everything on.
We tried some different summer treats—bananas covered in vanilla yogurt and sprinkles and then frozen.
And strawberry yogurt mixed with Nerds and frozen in popsicle molds.
I got a load of dirt dumped in the front yard to fill in holes. It still has yet to be distributed everywhere it needs to go, but Quinn is enjoying playing on the pile.
We washed muddy dinosaurs in a bathtub…
And then covered them in foam soap and sprayed
them clean.
We swam in the hot tub. Ash even got his own float.
We practiced catching letters in his pool with a snow baller.
We repurposed the strainer part of a potato ricer into a sifter for an ocean themed water table.
We got to see animals from the zoo at the Zoo To You program at the library. Quinn petted a tortoise, a snake, and a possum.
We scooped beans with an excavator to reveal Dino fossils. Quinn eventually just dumped them out 🤦🏻♀️ because he’s a work smarter, not harder kind of kid 😉.
We took Quinn to putt putt golf for the first time. He does not use a golf club correctly and refused to let us show him how 😂.
Asher turned 4 months old on the 1st. He and Quinn look nothing alike at this same age.
We went to Arts in the Park and sweet Kate volunteered to do a water balloon toss with him 🥰.
Asher got to show off his “My first 4th of July” onesie.
We had a water balloon fight on the 4th, too.
We also made sun catchers by repurposing clear oatmeal and yogurt container lids and tracing some pics with sharpie markers.
We did an activity about foods that are healthy and not healthy for our teeth.
Quinn spent a really long time making the dino’s teeth dirty and then brushing them. We’ve done this activity before but he was really into this time. He liked telling me everything the dinosaur was eating as he drew on the teeth.
We made tie dye paper towels with food coloring and water.
Ash even gave it a try 😉.
We got Quinn some cool firefighter gear for his birthday. He got lots of other great gifts, too. Thank you, everyone!
Quinn discovered his love for coloring this week and spent 30 minutes on this picture 😊.
Asher really enjoyed our walk the other night 😝.
We’ve seen some beautiful sunsets #nofilter
😍
And worked in the garden
And had lots of smiles 😃
