You know the best thing about the internet? Being able to know the experiences of other parents whose kids make things that are supposed to be fun✨not fun✨ , so you know you’re not alone. My prior experiences Trick or Treating were my own as a child, of course, with my nieces and nephews, and with my sweet child—the one who used to be two and more cooperative. I only remember from my childhood it being something super fun, I always wanted to do it, and I never would’ve dreamed of stopping early. I went several years with my brother’s kids, even when I was childless, because I thought it was fun to watch them participate. While I can’t swear there wasn’t whining involved, maybe I noticed less because I wasn’t the one in charge of it 🤷🏻♀️. Anyway, none of my past experiences helped prepare me for the three-year-old one. Quinn lasted for about 40 minutes of active participation before he wanted to go home because we wouldn’t let him eat all of his candy as he received it. He almost didn’t go at all because he was refusing to wear his costume, but Philip and I agreed that if he wasn’t going to dress up, he didn’t need to go. He had plenty of candy from all of the events we had already attended. He has no sensory issues that influence his resistance, just a desire to be difficult. He finally relented about an hour beforehand, saying he would wear one and wanted to go. Mind you, he didn’t want to wear the costume I bought for the occasion. No, he opted for a costume he got for his birthday in July. I didn’t care one way or another, but we spent literal weeks talking about how he was going to dress up as a werewolf for Halloween, and then he didn’t want to 🙄. When we laid down for bed on Halloween night, I asked him if he had fun trick or treating and he said, “Yeah, but I didn’t want to get anymore candy. Ask me why.” I asked him and he said, “Because I was being stubborn.” Bingo. I asked Philip if he had told him that and he said he didn’t think so. So, silver lining, Quinn knows the meaning of a new word 😂. He has definitely heard it before though; three year olds are the worst 🙄😂.
Seriously though, I was feeling weird about the whole situation because I was like, “Why didn’t my kid like doing this thing that most other kids like to do?” Turns out, we weren’t alone, and for those of you who shared your stories with me, I appreciate you 🥰.
While being stubborn is on my list of top ten things that make my head wanna explode sometimes, Quinn is back to asking, “What happens if I XYZ?,” and that tops the list at the moment. He had taken a brief hiatus and I was hopeful that this phase had passed. My hopes were dashed these past two weeks as his incessant questioning returned. It’s always about something he knows the answer to now. Like, he will climb over the side of the couch and I’ll tell him, “Quinn, stop climbing on the couch,” and he’ll say, “What happens if I don’t?” Or I’ll say, “Ash is sleeping, please be quiet,” and he’ll answer, “What happens if I wake him up?” That boy can push all of my buttons. Usually all in the same day, too. He’s been committed in his search for every hard line to cross for about a week now. I hate these long term boundary quests, and by day 4, I have zero patience left. I lose my shit at the first infraction. The limit testing is bad enough, but coupled with whining, and it’s a recipe for mama torture. Asher is easy when it comes to crying: he’s either hungry, tired, or teething. Quinn cries because I gave him the bowl of cereal he asked for. It’s maddening. My menu only worked short term, he’s back to asking me, “What can I eat?,” or “What are my options?,” and then refusing everything I say because it doesn’t include candy. He will then say he doesn’t want anything, spend five minutes doing something, tell me he’s hungry again, ask what he can eat, repeat until I cry 😂. Not really, but the mental load of making all of the decisions is heavy. He even asks me what I think he’ll like to watch on tv 🤦🏻♀️. Like, I don’t know, kid, you think about it and get back to me.
Speaking of tv, I wish we had never shown him that shows can be fast forwarded because he has several shows where he only wants to watch his favorite part. We’ve had to institute a watch-the-whole-thing rule; otherwise, we would just spend the whole time watching the same thing over and over again. He watches the same shows that we’ve seen a hundred times anyway, so if he’s watching tv, I’m usually taking the opportunity to do something else, and I can’t do that if I’m having to FF constantly.
The time change was awful and it took an entire week to fully adjusted to it. There was no extra hour of sleep, just an extra hour with my kids. Now, I love them with every fiber of my being, but I wouldn’t turn down extra sleep. Too bad that’s not an option, because you know who can’t tell time? Babies and toddlers. No, they just woke up at 5am instead of 7am, when it should’ve been 6am new time, but time doesn’t really exist and nothing about Daylight Savings makes sense 😭. I hate it. Quinn literally laid in bed, talking, for 2 hours while I tried to fall back asleep, until I finally surrendered and told him we could get up. He has mastered the art of conversation so well that he doesn’t even need anyone else to participate anymore, he will provide the commentary for both sides. That’s not to say that he doesn’t prefer engagement, however. We had a 5 minute conversation about his butt cream the other day before I finally told him I was done talking about it 🙄🤷🏻♀️. He is not prone to diaper rash and has had very few in his life, especially his toddler years. So, I think, having to put some Desitin on him freaked him out last week. He kept asking me questions like, “Will my cream come off if I ride my bike?,” “How can I sit down, won’t my cream get on the chair?,” and “Will my cream stay on forever?” I couldn’t take it anymore so I said, “I am not talking about your cream anymore. Please stop asking me questions.” I had explained why he needed it and answered his questions multiple times at that point.
I just didn’t know, until I had my own boy, how much time I would spend talking about butts and penises. I took Quinn and Ash to the park last week (before the weather changed to winter 🙄) to take our Christmas card pictures. When we were finished, I was putting Ash in his car seat while Quinn was standing behind me, by the stroller, waiting for me to put him in the car. I heard him say, “I think I’m done,” and then ask, “Are my hands clean?,” as he held them up to me. I glanced behind me and said, “I don’t know, what did you have on them?” He replied, “Butt germs.” 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. No amount of hand sanitizer can make you feel good about that conversation.
The other night, after getting out of the shower, I heard Quinn say, “I’m coming out of here with my naked horn! I don’t have a diaper on! I’m gonna go show mom my naked horn!” He came running into the kitchen, where I was. I shook my head at him and told him to go get dressed. He did and then came back saying, “Mom, my horn’s away. I’m dressed now.” I appreciated the update 🙄🤦🏻♀️.
He is ✨ stubbornly ✨ still in diapers, and refuses any offer of a reward to use the potty. He wanted a toy laptop, so a few months ago, I bought one and told him if he pees in the potty 3 times (something he has done before!), he can have it. He won’t do it. He asks me why he can’t just have it. I explained how it’s a reward for being a big boy, but he’s not convinced. Everything at this stage has to be his idea in order for it to go smoothly, and I haven’t yet figured out how to spin it that way.
He has lots of other ideas though and likes to cryptically say, “I have an idea…,” while holding up his first finger like a corny detective in a movie. For a hot minute, any time I would sit on the floor, he would get an idea, and it would involve pushing me over. He thinks it’s hilarious—me, not so much. We went to a birthday party at The Center for Children and Families last week, and Philip and I were both annoyed by him. Me, by him trying to push me over as I was sitting with Ash on the floor, and Philip, by Quinn trying to tackle him in his seat. He refused to go on the play equipment unless I stood by the slide, in the way of the other children playing 🙄. He plays there all the time, so I don’t know what his issue was that night. I got very frustrated with the pushing and told him he’s not allowed to do it anymore. I know rough play is a staple of boy life but I don’t like it. He can wrestle with his Dad 😉.
I like volunteering Philip for things because he does it to me all of the time. Quinn’s favorite activity of the moment is finding things we hide in Play Doh. He says he loves opening things, so I guess Christmas will be a big hit this year. He asked me to hide stuff for him the other day, but I told him I couldn’t because I was about to go nurse Ash. He asked if Dad could do it, so I said yes 😆. Philip said, “Taking a page from my book?” I said, “Yep.” He said, “It’s funnier when I do it.” Negative 😂.
Quinn’s other favorite thing to do right now is yell. Not for any reason, just:
AHHH. AHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHH.
AHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I tell him if he’s going to yell, he has to go outside. Sometimes he will. I had to text my neighbor on one of the nicer days, in case she or her family was outside, to tell her not to worry if she heard my child screaming. He will go out to yell and then come in and say, “Mom, I got all my yells out.” Fantastic.
Sometimes when Quinn yells, it’s dark outside so when I tell him he has to go outside to yell, he’ll get scared. Ever since he started watching those damn shows where the kids search for pretend monsters, he asks me 50 times a day if I’ll keep him safe. Of course, I always tell him yes. He gets scared to throw things away by himself or go in the bathroom if the light isn’t on, and I sometimes get frustrated by it. He will go from zero to full on tears just because I told him to throw something away. Asher often gets upset when Quinn cries and man, do I love when they’re both crying at once 🙈.
I’m pretty sure Quinn caught something at the party last week, because on Saturday, when he woke up from nap, he was burning up with a fever. It only lasted less than 24 hours but he has been congested ever since. So yeah, he was sick for like the fourth time in 4 months and I’m just about ready to quarantine again before I lose my damn mind. I try so, so hard to be patient when he’s sick but the whining 🤯. Oh my, the whining is hard to handle. I want to validate his feelings, because those are real and valid, but I also want him to stop &*%!”:/ whining! Ugh.
This post is full of complaints. You all know I don’t play the highlight reel of life, and it’s been a tough few weeks. Asher is teething (his top front teeth are mostly in, and the two beside are making their way), so he has been very clingy and cranky. Thank goodness he didn’t get sick from the party or Quinn! My friend, Chris, told me she felt like a human pacifier when she was breastfeeding her children, and I resemble that remark. Asher is less likely to want baby food or his bink when he’s teething. He will literally take his bink out to yell 😂. I will try to put it in his mouth, and he will forcefully spit it out. Same with anything he has to chew. In almost slow motion, he sticks his tongue out to expel any non-puréed food, and then he looks at me like I put shit in his mouth. When he’s not teething, he’s very into baby food and becomes extremely dramatic if I don’t shovel it into his face fast enough for his liking. He can slither on his belly, backwards, and scoot forward on his butt while sitting. Crawling is coming any day now. He’s at a very fun stage right now, when he’s not cranky 🤪. The way his face lights up whenever he sees me is amazing. No one has ever been as excited to see me as Asher 😂. Philip said he is but Philip wouldn’t get that excited if someone gave him a million dollars 😂. He’s not a very emotionally expressive person.
He tried some frozen mango to help with his teething 😂.
I often feel pulled in two different directions, rarely getting to snuggle Ash because I feel the need to get back to Quinn. Quinn falls asleep for nap most days by laying his head on my chest and I wrap my arm around him. Ash almost always wakes up shortly after Quinn falls asleep, forcing me to lay Quinn down so that I can nurse Ash. I love those limited snuggles that I get with each of them though.
I swear, Asher grows extra hands when he’s sleepy.
Quinn is in the habit of randomly telling us, “I love you,” throughout the day. That’s definitely one of my favorites of his new behaviors. He’s still a really good big brother, often looking out for Ash. The second that Ash starts fussing, Quinn will say, “Mom! Sing The Wheels on the Bus!,” Asher’s favorite song 😂. We put a beanie on Ash before heading down to the Christmas activities downtown, and while driving we heard Quinn say, “Mom! Fix Ash, he only has one eye!” 😂😂. The beanie had fallen down to cover part of his face 😬. Thanks, big brother.
And now for our Pupdate:
Sophie has gotten increasingly brave, both in the good sense and the bad. She was never Quinn’s biggest fan, happy to let Sansa be the receiver of his affections. She’s coming around though, only leaving to hide under the kitchen table about 50% of the times he comes around. If there’s food involved, she’s way more likely to stick around. Which brings us to the bad: she will eat anything out of his hand, whether he’s offering or not. I used to get annoyed with him when he would tell me she ate his food, always assuming he either gave it to her or left it where she could get it, eg, on the floor. I caught her in the act of taking bread out of his hand the other day and she got scolded. She went and pouted under the table.
❤️
She decided she’s the baby again and laid in Ash’s couch bed. He outgrew it, so I would give it to her, but that’s really expensive dog bed 😂.
Apparently, she thinks all of the kid beds are hers. Might as well be, it’s not like there are any little humans using them in this house 🙄🤦🏻♀️.
She is typically afraid of everything so I was surprised and amused when she wanted to hang out in Quinn’s blanket fort 😂.
She occasionally decides to reciprocate Quinn’s love 😘.
She has gotten chunky being an only dog, the sole receiver of treats. Shhh, don’t tell her though, I don’t want to hurt her self esteem.
Activities/events we’ve done this month:
Quinn practiced raking leaves.
We buried Damon in a pile inside,
And Quinn in one outside 😆.
Ash got in on the leaf action, too.
We went Trick or Treating (Quinn and Ash, not Soph. She’s not a people dog).
Asher was very enthused 🤣.
It was a day late, but we finally got our pumpkins carved on November 1st 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️.
We roasted some pumpkin seeds to eat,
And dyed some to play with.
I saved some from this beast to try to grow next year.
Not before Ash took it for a spin around the block 😉.
He took brother for a ride, too. He takes driving very seriously 🤪.
We spent as much time outside as we could, soaking up those five minutes of Fall 🤦🏻♀️.
We finally finished cleaning up the garden for the year, harvesting what was left of the unripened watermelons. Quinn loved chopping them up. We gave them and the remains of our pumpkins to our neighbor friends for their chickens.
I found another mantis nest attached to a tomato plant. We’re gonna have soooo many in the spring! 😬
I pointed out a grasshopper to Quinn, and we followed it hopping all over the yard . Now I hear, at least once every few days, about how he was mowing and saw a grasshopper 😄.
I’ve become quite the nature enthusiast. I got way too excited to photograph this blue jay in my neighbor’s yard 😆. They’re so pretty 🐦.
We found this guy curled up when we were raking leaves. Slugs die in the winter, right? 🤮
They said hi to Ash, too 🐶.
I have no idea where that purple flare came from.
Mollie and Cooper helped Quinn climb up in the hay barn to farmer John, who was hiding in the top 😉.
He thought that was super cool.
That poor guinea 🤦🏻♀️. Quinn chased that bird all over.
I love their furry cows 🐮
🐄
Ash got to hang out with his pal, Iris, who tried to help him with his hair, using a cow comb 😆.
We upped the coolness factor of our Halloween sensory bin by adding some fake fingers and spiky balls that were on clearance after the holiday.
Ash had a fun time with some sensory bins, too. Pigs in prunes was a big hit 🤣.
I made red and yellow oobleck (cornstarch and water) for Quinn to do color mixing, but he was not a fan. Ash dug right in. He swiped Quinn’s pretend knife and looked like a murderer, providing me with the best picture ever 😂.
He also didn’t hold back for the steel cut oats. I found a canister in the back of the cabinet that had expired so we put them to good use.
I got out the acorns that we collected last month and Quinn covered them up with oats because “they were cold,” according to him 😆. He used a new-to-him kitchen tool—the scraper—to level them.
I made Ash some sensory lids with a shiny, smooth material, fake grass, and bumpy ribbon.
I made an activity for Ash that I had to replicate for Quinn 🤦🏻♀️🤪. I taped popsicle sticks to his tray with washi tape and let him try to pick them up.
Quinn was very into it and made me tape them several times so he could do it again.
I made Quinn a fall themed search and sort, using sunflowers, acorns, and pumpkins that I broke off of cupcake picks from Dollar Tree and hid them in kinetic sand.
I made fizzing pumpkins by adding a little bit of water and orange food coloring to baking soda, forming the pumpkins, and then freezing them. I gave him a spray bottle filled with vinegar, that he immediately assumed was water and tried to squirt it in his mouth 😂.
I froze pom pom balls in water and had Quinn use warm water and digger tools to get them out. This was a good activity that took a while. Ash even tried to get in on the action.
They were supposed to represent the colors of a pumpkin, and he could sort them to each side to match the dot stickers. Philip told me Quinn will grow up to live in a messy house because I’m always making him sort things 😂😂🤷🏻♀️.
I made firefighter Quinn a pretend fire to put out.
I made an alphabet train and used post it’s with letters for Quinn to find and match up to the train. He made it about halfway before he lost interest 🙄.
I made Quinn a felt taco kit and pretended to place orders. He can’t be trusted to give you food though, he always puts vinegar on it and doesn’t tell you until you’re taking a bite 🙄😉🤪.
We went to playgroup.
Quinn got to make a turkey.
We made turkeys at home,
And I chased Quinn around with them when they dried, while gobbling at him.
We made tape resist turkey paintings with the cousins.
They turned out so cute! (some weren’t peeled yet because they hadn’t dried)
My nephew, Lincoln, made this at school and their dog, cats, and I made the list while the rest of his immediate family didn’t 🤷🏻♀️. He’s my favorite now 😂😉.
Quinn and I made handprint turkeys. He always wants me to make one of whatever he’s making now, so I traced his hand and he traced mine and then he helped me color it.
❤️
Yesterday we braved the cold and ventured downtown for just a bit to check out Christmas in the Ville.
“Dad, I have a mustache,”—Quinn
We were outside petting the cows and Quinn said, “Mom, there’s a dog in there!” Dutton is the best good girl 🐶.
Quinn saw snow on the deck, so we had to go shovel it, of course. It had melted everywhere else so, obviously, it needed done 😆. He’s looking forward to more and I’m looking forward to spring 🤪.
