We had several “firsts” over the last few weeks—Asher’s first Thanksgiving, my first solo shopping trip with the boys out of town, and Asher crawling (properly). We had two nice Thanksgiving dinners with each of our families; with mine on the holiday and with Philip’s brother’s family the weekend after. Quinn was challenging both days but more so with my family. He ended up in time out and annoyed the hell out of me with his whining. I planned some activities for the younger kids that he complained about and didn’t want to participate in. I almost forgot to take any pics during our time together because I was so frazzled with Quinn. He was in a better mood for the Eagleson dinner, but annoyed his cousins by wanting to wrestle with them when they weren’t into it. My BIL kept telling his boys to let him do it, but we disagreed and kept telling Quinn to stop. It’s not okay for him to touch other people’s bodies when they say no, and he’ll never learn that if we don’t teach him. He struggles to share his toys when his cousins are here, as well, and that’s another lesson he must learn. Overall, it was a good time with everyone, it’s just a challenging season of life with our three year old.
Quinn helped Philip prepare the potatoes for cooking. I shared a meme during the week of Thanksgiving that spoke of teaching boys to cook and about not raising another generation of men who think the only time they need to enter the kitchen is to carve the turkey. I’m so grateful to have a husband who isn’t afraid to defy traditional gender roles and takes on the task of cooking most days of the week, to be honest. He enjoys cooking and it’s one less task on my to do list.
If you saw my FB post, you would’ve seen my hashtag for thick thighs—Ash and Soph, bringing to rolls to the party 😉.
No one can resist a coloring table 😉. I had to “Coen-proof” it. That kid can’t be trusted around a tablecloth to save his life 😅. I taped the edges to the legs of the table to keep it on. I love him though 😘.
Quinn did decide to participate in turkey balloon races, an activity we had done at the library that week. He ended up popping Kate’s balloon, and being generally unpleasant 🙄.
I made a pie face game where they had to search for ghost sprinkles (because they’re white, so hard to see) in whipped cream with their mouths 😂. Quinn wouldn’t do that one. Kate used the strategy of eating the whipped cream as she went, which proved to be a winner.
3 turkeys 🦃 🦃 🦃
Since it was after Thanksgiving when we visited with Philip’s family, I prepped Christmas crafts for the kids. I also had Thanksgiving coloring sheets for them though. Ayden asked for another one and was amazed when I printed it for him using my phone 😂.
I printed out each of their pictures to use on their tree.
Ash checked Uncle Nate’s ears for French fries.
Ash kept himself occupied while everyone else ate by doing his favorite thing—making a mess.
Quinn got an adorable turkey crayon holder at the library, made by Miss Tella.
Another “first,” Asher took his first selfie when I left my phone laying on the floor 😆.
I feel as though anytime I’m around other adults, I seem like I’m walking around full of rage. While I am sometimes frustrated with my child’s behavior, I think the more realistic situation is that I rarely have adults to share my feelings with, in person, so it all just spills out, regardless of what’s going on that day. I talk to Philip everyday, of course, but not always in depth. Not to mention, with him, it’s a tale of same shit, different day. He knows how it goes. Other people provide different perspectives than the view from our household. I bet the other moms and dads at the library, aka the adults I probably see the most regularly, are of the opinion that I’m a Negative Nelly. I hate feeling that way. This is just a hard season of life with our three year old. Are you sensing a theme? 😜
Going anywhere with Quinn is most often frustrating and overwhelming for me. At places like the library, there are other children so I always think (hope) he will play with them, allowing me to have some adult interaction (while tending to Ash, of course, but he’s a really good people watcher for the moment). What frequently happens is Quinn decides he doesn’t have enough room at the table to play with Legos, or someone has the truck that he wants, or any other excuse to need my attention. With his cousins, just like at Thanksgiving, he constantly tries to roughhouse with them, forcing me to have to intervene. It’s annoying and makes me want to just stay home. At least there I know what I’m getting myself into and won’t be disappointed by missed opportunities for adult conversation. I guess I need to adjust my expectations until this phase passes.
I took my first solo trip out of town with the boys the week before last. Due to car sickness, we don’t travel too far away from home on the regular. However, Mondays can easily turn into a dumpster fire around here, and do, more often than not. We had had a particularly trying weekend and I wasn’t looking to compete with it by myself, since Philip had to go to work. The morning was already off to a fantastic start—Quinn Hulk stomped a box constructed from waffle blocks and scratched the top of his foot. Obviously, I was less than sympathetic to his situation for making that choice. I offered him a bandaid (it wasn’t actively bleeding. A spec of blood reached the surface of his skin), but he refused. He continued to complain about his foot hurting and asking me how I could make it feel better. After explaining for the fiftieth time that there wasn’t much I could do, aside from putting a bandaid on it to prevent anything else from irritating it, I told him I was done talking about it. That went over well, of course 🙄. When Ash was almost ready for his morning nap, I put a bandaid on his foot against his will (with Philip’s help because he heard the commotion from the basement and came up to try to defuse), packed them into the car, and hoped for no puking while we drove to the Highlands. Everyone’s breakfast stayed intact and Ash slept for a good bit of the way. He’s not always a fan of riding in the car. It’s a 50/50 gamble on pleasantness vs. nonstop screaming. Quinn quickly forgot about his foot and talked about numerous other subjects along the way. His chatter didn’t stop once we arrived, and he even got someone else singing by continually saying, “Who let the dogs out?,” while we were in Target 🤦🏻♀️. If I didn’t hate that song before, I do now. Asher waved and smiled at strangers in every store, attracting way too much unwanted attention. To me, anyway. I don’t want to have to talk to people 😂. I have to make enough conversation with my child, I don’t want to do it with strangers. Quinn behaved like a typical toddler, touching things and attempting to circle me like a vulture while waiting in line 🤦🏻♀️. I imagine shopping trips to far away places are quite exciting to Quinn, given that he has had so few in his lifetime. Between covid and car sickness, he hasn’t been on too many. But the overstimulation from the crowds (I don’t go out either, obviously), and the endless stream of noise exiting my child’s mouth cause me anxiety. I took the boys to eat at Panera Bread, a first for Q. He said he wanted Mac and cheese, so that’s what he got. Asher was ready for his lunch at that point, too. I was taking bites for myself in between spoonfuls fed to Ash, when Quinn asked if I could feed him, too 😂. Sure, I’ll just grow another arm, no problem. I told him he was a big boy and needed to do it himself. He was okay with that, and honestly, did a pretty good job. Overall, it was a successful trip—I got the few things I was shopping for, no one threw up, and they slept on the way home, giving me some much needed peace. I would also add quiet, but I filled that time with the new Taylor Swift album, which I hadn’t been able to listen to before then 😊.
Though I now know it’s possible to take the boys shopping and it potentially not be a shit show, it’s still not my favorite pastime. I can’t shop how I like to shop for having to constantly be aware of where my child’s hands are and what they might be touching. My name gets called 40 times a minute, ruining my concentration. Not that shopping is hard but if you don’t look at everything at TJ Maxx, can you really say you shopped? 😜. Once I quit my job to stay home, my shopping addiction sorted itself out. When you go from two incomes to one, there’s a lot less money for needless things. At the same time, being home made me hyper aware of all the possessions in our house, recharging my desire for minimalism. Instead of buying things, I get joy from purging and organizing. Gift buying holidays and Quinn’s birthday actually make me sort of anxious because I know there will be so many new things I have to find a home for.
While my shopping trip was a bit anxiety inducing, it was still nice to break up the monotony of everyday life. I got a break from the frustration of “I want something to eat,” followed by “I wouldn’t eat that/I’ll waste it,” after I go to get what he said he wanted. And from voicing every inanimate object in our house. I do so many voices, sometimes I don’t even know who I’m talking for. Quinn only cares if I don’t use my regular voice for myself. He’ll say, “No, be Mom!” 😂. Having a break is great, and you would think would recharge my patience, but it actually does the opposite. It’s like I know we can have a day with minimal tantrums and less stress, so then I have no chill. I’m immediately frustrated when Quinn wakes Ash up with his wailing over having thrown away his sucker rather than his wrapper, by accident 🤦🏻♀️. Motherhood is just so much harder than I ever knew it could be. You learn so much about yourself—what triggers you, for example, and then you have to try to figure out why, so that you can do better. I have a response every time Quinn tries to control my body—he tries to stop me from walking, pulls on my clothes, puts his butt on me to assert dominance (I wish I was kidding about that one 🙄), etc. So when he does those types of things, I have to take a breath before I react because I am instantly angry. That’s just one example. I have tons of issues 😂.
As always, for all of the tough times, there are just as many fun times. Quinn makes me laugh every day with his wonderful little brain. The following are some conversations or pieces of ones that we’ve had recently:
Q: *Talking to his teddy bear and expecting me to answer for it*
Q: “Bear, do you want to go to playgroup today?”
M: *As bear* “Yeah.”
Q: “You’ll probably have to stay with Mom though.”
M: “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
Q: “Do you like me better though?”
M: 😲
*At bedtime*
Q: whispering inaudibly
M: “What?”
Q: “I’m not talking to you.”
Q: “Mom, what do I smell?”
M: “I don’t smell anything. What do you smell?”
Q: “My toots!”
M: 🙄
(He asks me what he smells all of the time. I’m just waiting for him to do it in a store, in front of people)
P: *sings some random song lyrics, most likely from one of the shows Q watches*
Q: “Don’t say that, Dad! You’re gonna get it stuck in Mom’s ear!”
M: 😂
*In the shower with Quinn*
Q: “Look at my legs. How long are they?”
M: “They’re pretty long!”
Q: “Look at my arms. How long are they?”
M: “They’re pretty long, too.”
Q: “Look at my horn (penis). How long is it?”
M: “……how long do you think it is?”
Q: “It’s really long. My body is big so I’m a grownup now.”
*Talking to his stuffed animals while playing with his gardening toys*
Q: “So. First, you gotta put in the dirt, and then the seeds, and then a flower comes out.”
M: “Do you need anything else? Like sunshine or water?”
Q: “Yeah. You put in the water, and oil, and seasonings.”
M: “….I suppose you would need seasonings if you were going to cook them 😆.”
His “class,” Ash pretending to drink dirt 😜, teaching them about his garden.
Q: “Mom, call me if something’s broke.”
M: “Ring, ring.”
Q: “What?”
M: “My car is broken. Can you fix it?”
Q: “I’m busy.”
M: 😑
*Playing with a hot cocoa sensory bin*
Q: “Mom, order something from me.”
M: “Okay. Can I have a hot cocoa, please?”
Q: “I’m closed on Tuesdays.”
M: “It’s Monday.”
Q: “I have lots of stuff to do.”
M: 😑
He’s a terrible customer service representative.
Hot cocoa bin
*Quinn, Ash, and I were sitting on the floor, making a craft in the living room while Philip was cooking dinner. Ash was sitting on my lap*
A: *kicks what Quinn was working on*
Q: “Ash! Don’t kick my stuff!”
M: *moves Ash away from Quinn*
Q: “Little Ash kicker.”
M: 🤣
Q: “Why you laugh?”
P: “What did you laugh about?”
M: “Q called A little Ash kicker.”
P: “Yep, that’s what I heard, too, was just confirming.”
*Playing with dinosaurs in kinetic sand*
Q: “If you know what dinosaur this is, tell me in the comments.”
~How to know your kid has seen too many YouTube videos~
Q: *Talking about the small couch in his room that pulls out into a bed*
Q: “I want to put this back out on the floor.”
M: “No, I’m trying to get everything picked up off the floor so I can run the sweeper.”
Q: “Why? Are my friends coming over?”
M: 🤦🏻♀️😂
M: “No. Sometimes I just clean for us.”
He has started lying sometimes, and luckily, he’s not good at it. His standard response when questioned about his lying is, “I don’t wanna talk to you.”
He has picked up some new phrases again:
“I have a feeling ….”
“There’s a good chance …”
“Another reason is …”
That last one is unlikely to follow a first reason 🤭.
My favorites, though, are:
“Yes, please,” which he answered to me when asked if he wanted a certain food at Thanksgiving. Carly heard him and was like, “Woah,” 🤣. I had a proud mom moment.
-And-
“Thank you,” which he said unprompted to the server at Jalapeños restaurant when he was given his food 🙂.
I love his heart, too. He mimics what he sees and plays “Dad” to his doll, Damon. It’s sweet how he cares for him ❤️.
It’s so hard to believe that Asher is 9 months old already. He’s my last baby so I’ll be a little sad when his infancy is over. He is a lot of fun now though. Well usually. He cut 3 teeth while most likely having RSV (I didn’t take him for a test but I messaged his doctor and he basically said that’s what it probably was. There isn’t a treatment for mild cases so we had to just let it run its course. As with everything in this house, Quinn got it, too, and we spent 9 snot filled days at home being grumpy. Have I mentioned how much I looove when my kids are sick? We seem to be getting tons of practice with it! They had better have a Fort Knox immune system when they get older 🙄), for a total of seven. He has also entered the separation anxiety stage, so he didn’t let me out of his sight without fussing while he was sick. It’s a bit better now. He’s on the move constantly. He took his time perfecting his hands and knees crawl, and then, in one day, started going and pulling to stand, too. Apparently, everything clicked at once 🤷🏻♀️. I tweaked my back from carrying that sack of potatoes around for nine straight days, so the less I have to carry him, the faster I will heal.
He had just gotten a bath so his hair was wet, not greasy 😆.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 😃
You would think with his newfound mobility he would get stuck in less places, but you would be wrong 🤷🏻♀️. Asher’s law of stuckness goes like this: if his leg can get stuck, it will get stuck.
Despite his smile, he was not happy about that 😂.
Seriously? 🤦🏻♀️
All that movement has thrown us into the age of blurry pictures. It’s difficult to capture all of the fun moments now. It is also incredibly difficult to feed him. He opens his mouth for a bite but then turns his head to look at anything but me 🙄. He’s starting to dance occasionally, and makes his preferences known by trading Philip and me in for each other with a double arm reach. He gives big, sloppy kisses, and says, “Mama,” and “Dada,” and maybe even what sounds like “Bubba.” We weren’t really teaching him to call Quinn that, we call each of them, “Brother,” sometimes. Quinn really wants him to say his name though, and Bubba is obviously easier to say than Quinn.
Quinn always wants me to feed Ash wherever he is. I try to trap Ash in his Bumbo seat, otherwise, I’d have to chase him to feed him. Obviously, it works really well and he likes it 🤦🏻♀️. When’s he’s not trying to escape, he’s trying to grab the spoon. I don’t think I’ve fed him yet without him making a mess. It’s super fun! 🙄
🐾 Pupdate 🐾
Sophie turned 5 on November 29th. She got a whole peanut butter sandwich to herself to celebrate. Quinn helped her blow out her candle.
Being an only dog has turned her into a food detective.
Creeping on Quinn’s Wendy’s.
And his mini pizza.
She wouldn’t piss off so she got decorated 😝.
She was reckless and played in traffic! 😲
And she was almost eaten by sharks!
She made it out unscathed. She kept her sense of entitlement, though, and brought it over to stare at me while I was sitting in HER chair 🙄. As soon as I got up, she jumped in.
I guess being 5 comes with some new attitude.
She got a visit from her good friend, Bear, and they both need to work on their picture taking 😛.
We did lots of fun activities last month:
We practiced identifying numbers
1. Tracing
All of our color mixing trees—laminated tissue paper because I didn’t have cellophane
We played Pictionary and I drew subpar pictures for Quinn and he drew “his letter,” for me.
I made a boat and an ore and Quinn went deep sea fishing. This is why there were sharks for Sophie to sit on 😉. 
And this is why she had roads to lay on. Quinn played with my construction paper town for 3 days.
This seems like easiest way to haul a horse. Idk why more people don’t do this 🤷🏻♀️.
Dad even made some activities for Q. This one represents how germs work when exposed to soap. This was a good experience to do while he was sick.
He also created a shape hunt game, where Q had to find objects around the house to match the floor shapes.
I made a Jello dig activity for Ash, who loved every sticky second of it.
Big brother was committed to cranking and didn’t play long. If I hadn’t made him one, he would’ve been mad. There’s no winning with him sometimes 🙄.
I found an old container of baby rice that I had for Q so I let Ash play with it. That’s an activity to do in the bathtub or a box or any other container. What a mess! 😂. It’s surprisingly sticky.
I made a peek a boo board with our pictures on it to practice names.
Quinn practiced karate chopping Blippi balls 😂. We’ve really put those balls to use. Idk how many things we’ve used them for.
We practiced serving up letters to match the plates.
Dad and I got creative and built some items for a construction bin.
I made another sensory experience using some old sand paper from when we refinished the living room floors for the parking lot, and a piece of textured backsplash for a rock quarry. Quinn played with rocks that his Nana gave us that she collected all over the US.
I made a bell toss game. Quinn didn’t really like it but Philip and I tried to outdo each for a minute 😝.
I made a superhero themed tracing book for Q. I don’t even remember why he had that disposable glove on 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️.
I made edible play doh for Ash. He enjoyed it.
We got out the Christmas tree and had to promptly fence it. Ash still found a way to undecorate it 🤦🏻♀️.
So, I made got a tree that Ash could destroy.
I decorated him, too 😆
And big brother 😃.
I made Q an advent calendar with crafts we can do every day. He has lost interest already 😑.
He did really like this one though.
I got these smiles with it by saying, “Don’t you dare show me your teeth.” Didn’t take much to realize he would just loooove to do what I tell him not to 😝.
Ash practiced making a mess as much as he could.
Especially one made from the new big blocks at playgroup. The boys are getting some like this for Christmas 😃.
Sometimes he falls down, too 😂.
He started working out though, so that shouldn’t happen anymore now that he’s strong 😂😂.
Quinn is strong, too 😜
