Giving each other high five 🥰. Most likely, after they’ve plotted against me 😝.
I haven’t been my best self lately. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted. When I’m feeling this way, instead of reaching out to my support system, I isolate into the exhaustion, which then tricks me into thinking I no longer have that support system because I haven’t talked to them in a while. At the end of a trying day, it seems easier to just zone out instead of venting. It’s better in the long run to bring my village into the know, but in the moment it just feels like too much work.
My market manager position requires a small amount of weekly work, yet adds to my stress. It feels as though someone always wants something from me. At least that one pays me for my efforts though 😝.
Both boys are in different but difficult stages. Asher is incredibly attached to me right now, which can easily overwhelm me. When he decides he needs me, he finds me and screams unless I hold him. It doesn’t make for very productive days.
Quinn and I are butting heads every minute of every day, it seems. He’s so emotional. And sassy. And argumentative. And OMG, the whining. Before having kids, I was wildly unprepared for the amount of whining they do. Quinn is so desperate to control any minute detail that he possibly can that it feels as though there is controversy over E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.NG. Literally, everything. If I tell him to close the fridge, he’ll say, “I’ll close one door.” If I tell him to put his clothes away (that I just washed, dried, and folded), he’ll say, “I’ll put my pants away, and you put my socks away.” If I tell him to put something on the kitchen table, he’ll say, “I’ll put it on the counter.” NO! No. No. No. Just do what I told you to do!
He acts as though he can’t do anything for himself anymore-
“Will you pull up my pants?” He can do it.
“Will you put my socks on?” He can do it.
“Mom, I need a drink.” He has one right behind him.
“Mom, will you get me a Graham cracker?,” he just got himself one 30 seconds ago. If I bring him two, he pitches a fit because he only wanted one. There is no winning.
He constantly asks me questions, the most frustrating ones are about things he already knows—
“What’s a sock?” I’m not kidding, he asked me that.
“What’s a door?” This one, too.
When I tell him he already knows, he will double down and legitimately make himself upset trying to convince me that he doesn’t.
He wants the play by play of anything I’m doing, which makes me feel like a sports broadcaster. I just want to do one damn thing without answering 15 questions about how and why I’m doing it. Just one. Please?
He argues just for the sake of arguing. He almost went into time out today because he wouldn’t stop yelling at me, saying I had said something and wanted to know what it was. I hadn’t said anything at all. He heard some neighbors talking but insisted that it was me. Like really? That’s the hill you’re gonna die on?
It makes no sense, which is a phrase he loves to say. It’s so ironic coming from the nonsensical three-almost-four year old. And I know kids are completely unreasonable because of their underdeveloped brains, but damn, is it frustrating, none the less.
So frustrating, in fact, that I have now cracked two teeth in my sleep from grinding them so hard. I had two procedures done in a week’s time. I was in a considerable amount of pain from it. I bought a mouth guard to wear at night, and that has definitely helped. You know the best thing about going to the dentist? I’m not expected to make conversation. Sure, they talk, and I may make an acknowledgment here or there, but I don’t have to say anything. If it weren’t for the sound of that terrifying drill, and the nasty smell of tooth dust, being there might actually be pleasant 😅.
It just feels like every day my tolerance for Quinn’s behaviors gets less and less. You want to argue? Fine. Go to time out. You wanna sass? Time out. There aren’t third and fourth chances, if there’s even seconds. I’m just done. So, so done.
I can’t stress enough about how drama free my life used to be 😅, so this is completely exhausting to me. I’m not cut out for constant conflict. I just won’t do it.
Philip had a staycation the week before last because he had days to use. We were going to do something small, like go camping for a few days, but decided against it. Scheduling was difficult anyway, because of my dental appointments and the market, but the ultimate deal breaker was Quinn’s relentless whining and defiant behavior, which drained both Philip and me. We didn’t have the capacity to plan and pack, and then deal with those behaviors elsewhere. After an extremely trying Friday, we did take a day trip to Oglebay Zoo and Cold Stone Creamery on Saturday, mostly just to get out of the house. We had a pleasant time. I especially liked watching Ash, as this was the first time he was really able to interact with some of the exhibits.
While that outing was enjoyable, the one I took solo last week was less so. We had our first community pool day of the summer with some of our friends. The water was freezing, so Quinn didn’t want to get in. I got in up to my waist on the first all in, but when Quinn wanted to play in the splash zone, I got back out. We took an ice cream break during the all out, and when the lifeguards blew the whistle on their return, Quinn said he wanted to get back in. However, he didn’t actually want to, he really just wanted to sit on the side by the 3 foot section, which was fine, but he wanted me to go straight in and stand by him in the pool. I told him I wasn’t going in that quickly, so he screamed at me. Like, for real, SCREAMED at me. It was like he forgot who I was, because he would’ve known better otherwise. I told him to come with me, as I held his hand. He went limp noodle, of course, so I was that mom, dragging my kid away screaming. We immediately packed up and left. I had had it at that point. We hadn’t had the best morning, prior to going to the pool, and Ash had also been testing my patience by constantly running away. Chasing a baby is in my top ten least favorite things to do, I think. I didn’t even take time to change their clothes, we just went straight to the car. As soon as Quinn realized I wasn’t going to let him put his jeans on, he started pitching an even bigger fit. We went home and took a nap, which was 50% of the problem.
I feel bad when I’m frustrated with Ash and that carries over into my attitude with Quinn. It would be easier to control if it wasn’t for his incessant talking. Picture it: Ash just dumped the dog water all over the floor, which is running under the table, into a collection of toys that shouldn’t be there, some of them stuffed animals. You’re trying to clean up the mess while the baby is crying and pawing at you to pick him. He’s pulling on your clothes and trying to get on your lap. All the while Quinn is asking you questions about who knows what, and then snarkily saying, “Why are you not answering me?!” How do you respond? If it’s with love and patience, please come show me how 🤣.
Quinn loves to ask me why I’m not answering him when he talks to me from
another room and I have no idea what he’s saying. I love him so, so much, but sometimes…..
One of those times happened at the market last week. I do a Facebook live every week to show what we have available for purchase. I prepared him before I started, telling him what I was going to be doing and that I couldn’t talk to him while doing it, etc. He was supposed to be playing with his friend who was at the market, too. I got almost halfway through when he started following me, telling me he needed to tell me something. I knew this wasn’t something good, so I kept trying to wave him off. He persisted, saying he’d had an “ax-quident.” I told him he had to wait, but he kept saying he needed to tell me something. I said, “Well, you’re going to tell lots of people, not just me,” and he blurted out, “I pooped!” He is officially in underwear, except for at bedtime, and this was the first accident he had had. What made it super frustrating was that he had been telling me his belly hurt all day that day, but refused to try pooping on the potty. Also, he wouldn’t stop whining at me while I was doing my live, wanting to know who could change him 🙄. I know he doesn’t understand how a FB live works, but he does understand when I tell him he needs to wait, which I did, repeatedly. I’m sure the video is super amusing to watch…if you’re not me 😝.
I hate that I feel like all I do is complain about him, because he really is a good kid. When he’s not pushing all of my buttons, I can appreciate how curious and smart he is. How he’s funny and adorable, and I marvel at his memory. He absorbs so much information, many times after only hearing it once (like when he heard Philip and me talking about the fires in Canada and then asked the next day how the air quality was. We used those words, of course, but he remembered them), it’s no wonder his little brain (and therefore his mouth 😩) never shuts off. He knows our full address, minus the zip code. He has the biggest vocabulary of any three year old I’ve ever known, and he makes connections between places and things that honestly impress me. I just need a break from him every once in a while so that I can fully appreciate these, and the other many, wonderful things about him 😂.
Asher is at the height of his separation anxiety/stranger danger phase, which is very normal and very draining. It feels as though he’s attached to me more than he’s not some days. That is the exact reason that he shared his stint with strep with me 😑. I took Quinn in to EZ Care over a horrible sounding cough that wasn’t going away, and he was diagnosed with an ear infection. Five days later, Ash and I were tested for and diagnosed with strep after he puked on me and started running a fever. I can’t tell you how not fun it is to try to clean puke off of yourself while a maniacal baby clings to you for dear life, all the while trying not to wake up your other kid. Why does Ash always puke on me in the middle of the night? The grip of a determined baby is seriously nothing to scoff at. I’m pretty sure they may have Spidey powers that allow their hands to hold so well.
The second night he woke up screaming at 3am, and wouldn’t be consoled unless I was standing up holding him. Eventually that was too much for me, and I tried sitting on the couch and holding him. He screamed and screamed, so I laid him down and went to get some medicine, acquiescing to the fact that Quinn may get woken up. I was exhausted and done with the power struggle. Ash calmed down after a minute or so, and we both fell back to sleep.
The antibiotic gave him some unpleasant side effects, but he was feeling better within a few days. We had his 15 month well check last week, and Dr. Gary said he looks great. His height and weight have gone down in percentiles; his weight understandably so since he started walking full time and then had diarrhea from the medicine. He certainly isn’t eating any less (or breastfeeding. Can’t we be done with this already? Please?). He wasn’t sure about his height, and said it may have been incorrectly measured, which I meant to doublecheck and forgot.
His favorite annoying thing to do, now that he can, is to run away—anytime he needs his diaper changed, his clothes changed, or he has stolen something 🤦🏻♀️. He absolutely LOVES to take the Apple TV remote while Quinn is watching a show, and then run away when I come to get it back after Quinn yells, “ASHER!! Turn my show back on!!,” as if he can 🙄😂. He can’t exactly run, but he sure tries; looking like a tiny drunk as he does 😂.
He also enjoys touching Quinn’s ear, pulling his hair, or trying to take whatever he’s eating whenever they ride in the double stroller. If anyone is contemplating buying a side by side double stroller, reconsider lol. Get the front and back one. You’ll thank me later. I’ve resorted to putting Ash’s arm under the strap of his restraint to keep him from touching Quinn. He used to get mad and say, “Stuck,” which would just make us laugh, but now he has figured out how to get it back out 😭.
🤦🏻♀️
Playing chase, chasing and kicking a ball, and closing doors that I don’t want closed are some of his pastimes. He is getting better about not dumping every single thing he comes across onto the floor, despite learning how to open the snack containers with his teeth. The ones he can’t open, like ones in wrappers, he brings to me to open. It’s amazing how big he feels already 🥺. Both of them, really.
Always trying to do what the big boys do 🥰.
Coloring his favorite animal 🦒.
He was mad because he put that second shirt on and then couldn’t get it off 😂.
Score! 🏀
He wanted that cup, so he climbed on the table to get it 😳🤦🏻♀️. He was soooo proud of himself.
Putting on some bling at the market 🤣.
Much of what Ash has learned can be attributed to Quinn. He mimics everything Quinn does. His sound effects are on point—cars (vroom), dinosaurs (roar), zombie (ughhhh), pretending to sleep (shoooo), etc. He has an evil laugh that reminds us of Kenan Thompson on All That when he did his awful French man impression (showing my millennial status with that reference 😜). He says, “Cool,” when asked how he looks while wearing sunglasses, “Good,” when asked how anything tastes, and impersonates an angry Russian every time he identifies an animal on the felt board.
M: “Ash, what’s this?”
A: “DOG! 😡”
M: “What’s this one?”
A: “DUCK! 😡”
😂😂
Kenan 😃. This meme randomly popped up in my Fb newsfeed the other day after Philip and I talking about Ash sounding like him.
Ash pats my back when he hugs me, blows kisses and bubbles, and my favorite, shakes his head “yes.” When he’s not being a stage five clinger, I enjoy many of his shenanigans. He has so much personality already ❤️…
And this pic sums it up perfectly:
He took everything out of that drawer and got in by himself 🤦🏻♀️.
No matter what they do, they’re never cuter than when they’re sleeping 😉:
Apparently, I make a really good pillow 😅.
😍
😂. He rarely passes out on the couch. He was really out of it.
This one cracks me up 😅.
We used superhero Croc gems to press shapes into playdoh. Quinn was making his Venom face to match the one I was holding 😅.
I made a couple of new animals for our felt board and Ash and I practiced naming them and saying their sounds.
330 hours outside!
This one was amusing. I had a feeling Quinn wasn’t going to like touching the noodles, and I was right 😂. I dyed expired lo mein noodles. All of the starch made them sticky. I hid “treasure” and sea creatures under the noodles. Quinn used scissors to cut them, and then went and got tongs to dig the treasure out.
We played bowling with some homemade can pins.
I set up two hula hoops with some garden stakes we had. Quinn loves practicing kicking the ball through the hoops.
Quinn practiced shooting ping pong balls with a water gun, and Ash practiced sitting them back on the golf tees.
Ash mastered blowing bubbles 👏🏻, but only when I hold the wand. Otherwise, he’ll get it too close to his mouth 😬.
Quinn and I practiced doing dips on the new exercise equipment that was installed in the field below our house.
Quinn and Philip flew a kite one windy day ❤️.
We played in the rain..because this stubborn boy wouldn’t go inside 😂. He grabbed his car and took off down the driveway. He hopped on but had to stop to pretend to be a zombie 🧟♂️ with Quinn. Those are his zombie hands in the second pic 😆.
Later that day, our neighbor gave them popsicles while we were out playing in the yard. Ash got ahold of the War Head one he gave to me 🤣.
We met friends at the pool, who gave Ash a strawberry, which is what he was trying to rinse in the sprinkler 😆. The water was soooo cold 🥶.
We went to the park and ran into some friends to play tag with. Harper played smarter, not harder, and climbed up on the equipment so the boys couldn’t reach her 😂.
We caught lightening bugs with our neighbor friends ❤️.
We tried out the new hiking trail at the 4H grounds. It was fantastic, minus the snake that was across the trail 😬. It took us 1:20 and Quinn walked the entire time. Ash was strapped to me the whole time, so he was happy 😆.
When we finished hiking, we visited the dogs at the animal shelter. There are a litter of puppies there who are all named after cheese. That black and white one is Pepper Jack 😅.
Our trip to Ogelbay Zoo. I was not surprised that the first thing Ash did was stick his hand inside the alligator mouth 😅.
Cheetah 🐆
They loved the dinosaurs!
Giving it a hug 😂.
Their new animals from the gift shop 😑. Because we definitely needed more stuffed animals.
That trip wore him out! 😆
Playing in the water puddle on our road.
We visited Sistersville park. It was less than impressive. I remember it being much nicer 🤷🏻♀️.
We celebrated Haleigh’s graduation with her. Quinn insisted on wearing his new werewolf mask 😂. That wasn’t why Ash was crying. Haleigh had tried to hold him right before this pic was taken, that’s what made him cry 😂
❤️
We went to Playgroup.
And Lowe’s and Sam’s Club. Quinn wanted a sucker at Lowe’s and I agreed to help keep his mouth quiet 😂. However, Ash+sucker=disaster.
We visited a pet store for the first time. Quinn made friends with a Guinea pig.
Sophie is getting much more comfortable with Quinn and even allows him to sit by her sometimes. She’s not so sure about Ash, understandably. He makes funny noises 😆.
She even gives him kisses 😚
I always have a baby laying on me, it seems.
😅
Snuggling up with Quinn’s snake he got at the zoo.
Catching some rays ☀️
Waiting to get her diaper changed on the changing couch 😅. Actually, she was scared because it was storming, so she came in the boys’ room where we were.
She was laying on Ash’s bed, so I tried to make her blend in 😜.
Her disguise didn’t work, they found her right away. Also, kids are gross.
Our latest dog adventures included our neighbor dog, Steele. We looked after him while his family was on vacation. Quinn enjoyed letting him out and playing ball with him.
😆
Cardinal in flight
I’m an old lady bird watcher now, didn’t ya know?
Mama goose and babies in the field below our house
Again.
And again.
And again. There were so many! The babies are so cute, until they turn into murder chickens. Geese are the worst 😅.
