Creative Kimpire: December 2023

I did something I had hoped I wouldn’t have to: we got an elf 🙄. I was prepared for this eventual scenario because I bought one on 75% off clearance after Quinn’s first Christmas. I’ve had it tucked away in the basement, but I wasn’t going to torture myself by introducing it until I had to 😂. Quinn hadn’t had much exposure to them aside from Kate or Link mentioning it a handful of times, but it didn’t really stick. When he came home from school on his first day back after Thanksgiving telling me how they had an Elf there, I knew I was on the hook. I told Quinn I would email Santa and ask him for one. Since it was our first introduction, I set the bar low and just put the box under the tree and waited for them to find it the next morning. It took 2.5 hours before it was spotted 🤦🏻‍♀️. We read the book and named the elf, and then named it again right after I wrote the name in sharpie in the book 🙄. That’s the story of how Candy Cane came to be.

😁

If you’ve been a long time reader, you may remember that we weren’t exactly on board with lying about Santa and all of the Christmas things. We’ve always taken a follow-his-lead approach, without really influencing his belief one way or the other. Society and YouTube taught him to believe, so we’re going with it. I’ve been enjoying surprising him and making his Christmas magical. I’ve also embraced the benefit the elf provides as a behavior modification tool. I don’t overuse it, but there was one day in particular that Quinn was extra committed to being an asshole, so that night he got an Official Warning from the North Pole, left by the elf. It seemed to help because he wasn’t nearly as defiant the following day.

1. Ziplining from the Christmas tree to the front door.

2. Fishing for Goldfish.

3. Hanging from the ceiling fan, disguised as Spider-Man.

4. Taking the Paw Patrol dogs for a walk while driving a police Jeep, just like Q likes to do when we take Soph for a walk 😉. I put the police stickers on a Jeep toy we already had and left some extra ones for Quinn. Apparently, I also put an extra one on my shirt 😬. I woke up the next morning and noticed it before anyone else did, thankfully. That would’ve been fun to try to pull an excuse out of my ass first thing in the morning 🥴.

5. Candy Cane went sled riding on a candy cane sled.

6. Quinn has been into playing doctor lately, and he’s also been watching the Paw Patrol movie, so I got some Paw Patrol bandaids for Candy Cane to use on his patients.

7. Candy Cane replaced our stockings with new Paw Patrol underwear for Quinn.

8. His Official Warning from the North Pole for naughty behavior.

9. Taking a bubble bath 🛀. Those marshmallows got him in elf trouble.

10. Candy Cane spent a night in the freezer waiting for his magic to return. The day after, he was back with a blanket, a candle for fire, and socks 😉 to warm him back up 😆.

11. He made the boys breakfast. He couldn’t find the bowls, so he put their cereal in their pretend pot and skillet.

12. He wanted to see the rest of the house in the daylight, so he left a note saying he could be shown around while sitting in the jar. I had to put a lid on it because Ash 😑. He also left a miniature version of himself for them to play with.

Quinn asked to let him ride to school with him, and then he watched as they played outside for a bit 😄.

13. Candy Cane had to scale the wall in order to escape a dinosaur attack!

14. He had a snow ball fight with Blippi and then got out our indoor snowball fight game for the boys.

15. He made cookies and took a spin on the mixer.

I have a list of ideas prepared so that I don’t have to do too much thinking after the boys go to sleep. The biggest issue is finding places to put it so that Ash can’t reach it. Quinn knows not to touch it, but Ash can’t be expected to follow that rule yet. Although, I will say that the score is Quinn-1, Ash-0 in that department. Those mini marshmallows were too tempting for him. Well, he can’t be solely blamed. The neighbor girls were over to play and they were all sneaking in to eat them, but Quinn pushed his luck too far and touched the elf. I looked on Pinterest to see what parents usually do when that happens, and then picked a solution. I told Quinn the next morning that I emailed Santa, and he told me to put Candy Cane in the freezer, which resembles the North Pole. He had to stay there all day and Quinn had to do something nice for someone else, and that would give Candy Cane his magic back. He almost didn’t make it because his attitude tanked the second half of an extremely lax day. I have no idea what caused the shift, but there have been many fluctuations recently. It’s hard to keep up. We were having a fun time at the library this week, and Story Hour happened to be on his friend, Micah’s, birthday. His mom asked us if we wanted to meet them at Burger King to surprise Micah by having lunch with him. We had a small window of time before gymnastics, so I said we would. However, Quinn had worn a cape to the library that day because he wanted to be a vampire, and I told him on the drive to BK that he wouldn’t be allowed to wear the cape inside there, for safety reasons. They have an indoor play space with a slide and climbing features. The cape would’ve gotten stepped on and pulled, so I couldn’t allow him to wear it. I explained why it wouldn’t be safe for him to wear it, but four year olds aren’t reasonable people. All he heard was that I said, “No,” and he launched into a screaming fit. I knew he would be upset, so I stayed calm and gave him several chances to regroup. We even made it all of the way to BK parking lot but he just wouldn’t stop. There was no way I was taking him inside acting like that, nor was I rewarding his behavior by letting him do something fun. It was a bummer to Micah, which I felt bad about, but I couldn’t help it. I was frustrated with him, and he was mad at me, too. I tried talking to him after I calmed down, but he said he didn’t want to talk about it yet. I said that was fine. I took him to gymnastics class, and when I picked him up, I asked if he was ready to talk about his earlier behavior and he said he was. I explained why I couldn’t let him wear his cape, and why his behavior was inappropriate. In the end, he agreed he should’ve just not worn the cape and then he would’ve gotten to go.

That blowup wasn’t nearly as dramatic for me as the one last week was. Sure, I was angry and frustrated, but last Friday was a day from hell that found us both in tears, eventually. It started off okay, we had a typical morning and then got ready for Playgroup. Things were going fine there, too, until they weren’t. Quinn and a girl around his age were both standing at the bottom of the slide, something neither one should have been doing. No one was coming down, so I didn’t think much of it. For the most part, unless he’s being too mean or rough with another child, I let them work things out. I get involved if someone starts yelling or gets hurt, but if they’re just arguing, I don’t have the energy for that shit. Anyway, apparently, while I walked over to the trash can to throw something away, he was blocking the girl from climbing up the slide (again, something neither one should be doing), and a staff member (someone we know) went over and removed him from the slide. He started screaming and crying. He came over to me and cried for longer than I thought was necessary. He really struggles with self regulation once he is upset. He also doesn’t respond well to other adults reprimanding him, as we have found previously. The worst part was that this catalyst changed his mood for the rest of the day. I stupidly attempted Christmas photos after this, and we visited at Lori’s later that evening. The pics were a disaster, and he was rough and mean to Lincoln during our visit. He even got mouthy with Lori. He sassed me about something I don’t even remember now, and I almost lost my shit. I put him in time out and then I cried. Poor pregnant Lori also cried, because how could she not? 😂. That was the night he got the warning from the elf. He was better behaved the next day, but I can’t say with complete confidence that it was the elf that caused it. The following day we attended our twin nephews’ birthday party, so he was excited about going. It was at a sports complex and we got to climb the walls. Philip and I had fun, but Quinn refused to try it. I think he would’ve really liked it, but being stubborn is a killer of joy 🤷🏻‍♀️.

The best we got.

Ayden and Oakley’s 8th birthday party 🥳.

His stubbornness kills the joy for himself, and anyone else around him, too. Every incident makes me less and less tolerant. I can only hope that he’s going to be the easiest teenager ever because he’s getting all this bullshit out of the way now 🤞🏻. I need to work on letting things go and not taking his bait. He will argue with me over the dumbest stuff, and then say, “You can say that all you want, but you’ll be wrong,” which is, of course, what I say to him. On the one hand, I should let that go, but on the other hand, I don’t want him growing up thinking he’s always the smartest person in the room. People like that are annoying AF. Ugh! Parenting is stealing my sanity.

Quinn clearly doesn’t fully understand the meaning of ridiculous, and it is one of my most used words. Anything he doesn’t like is labeled, “Ridiculous.” If I tell him it’s Ash’s turn to pick the show on tv, he says that’s ridiculous. If I tell him he can’t have candy until he eats a meal: ridiculous. He has to change his jeans that’s he’s been wearing for two days: ridiculous. 🙄🙄🙄🙄. He. Is. Exhausting.

I’ve been having fun with our newly implemented ‘Admit You’re Wrong’ rule. Quinn didn’t know that admitting being wrong was something people avoid, so he’s relatively easy going about it. However, I’m pretty sure he ate an entire soft pretzel as big as head, just to spite his dad, so that he would have to say that he was wrong 😆. The…I don’t know what they call it, concession stand, maybe, at Sam’s Club is the most affordable place to feed to your family, hands down. They have pizza, pretzels, hot dogs, frozen yogurt, and drinks for crazy low prices. Every time we shop there now, Quinn wants to get a pretzel. Ash wanted pizza, so that’s what I got them. Quinn swore he was so hungry, he was going to eat the entire pretzel. Philip told him he didn’t think he could, and then reminded Quinn that if he did, Philip would have to say he was wrong. He was mostly trying to get him to eat because he’s a hangry beast when he doesn’t. Quinn sat there and ate the whole thing, minus the few bites Ash stole. He also had some frozen yogurt afterwards, and unsurprisingly, said his stomach hurt on the way home 🤦🏻‍♀️. Philip admitted he was wrong though, and by the way Quinn laughed, I’m pretty sure he thought it was worth the bellyache 😂.

😆 🥨

Another thing he did out of spite was tell Ash to go mess with my me while I was doing yoga 🙄. I’ve been trying to get back into it, but it’s hard to do when the boys are awake, and I’m not a night person. Before I even got my mat out, I gave Q a rundown of the rules: stay off of my mat, and don’t touch me (he likes to jump on my back if I’m on the floor and it kills me). Basically, leave me alone. He is allowed to participate or not, but if not, he’s expected to entertain himself elsewhere. He was fine for a while, over on his own mat. He was flipping or something, I don’t even know, but eventually he decided he needed some attention. He came over and turned the page of my routine book, which he knew I was using to see the poses. I sent him to time out, and told him he would stay there until I was done. He was in the bedroom, and Ash went in with him after a while. I didn’t really care, since they weren’t bothering me, until I heard Quinn tell Ash, “Go turn the page in Mom’s book.” 🤬🤬🤬. He didn’t, luckily, but Quinn still got chewed out. Did I mention how exhausting he is?

I don’t remember what happened the other time, but it’s been twice that I’ve heard Quinn telling Ash to do something he knows he shouldn’t. I guess he’s onto the next phase of annoyance 🙄.

His incessant talking has topped the annoying list the most the last several days. He announces everything he’s about to do—“Mom, I’m gonna be Spider-Man,” “Mom, I gotta pee,” “Mom, I’m gonna be a police.” None of these things require my help, yet I have to acknowledge I’ve been informed or he will tell me again 😩. I often experience sensory overload from the constant noise 🥺. I had to go to the Highlands to pick up an order at Kohl’s. On the way home, he talked from the moment he got in the car, until we cleared the south end of Moundsville (so close to 30 minutes) about WEREWOLVES. Then, he started singing. At that point I began contemplating how much it would cost to install one of those limo windows in my car. You know, the kind that closes off the front of the vehicle from the back? No matter the number, I bet it’s worth it 🤪.

The package I had to pick up at Kohl’s was these bowls and matching plates 😅. I make our pantry snacks accessible so that they can learn self-help skills.

While we were there, they picked out matching jackets they wanted. I didn’t know how much I like when they wear matching clothes 😅.

I love him so, so much. I do. He just drives me crazy most of the time during this season of life. I’m not sure I’m made for being a boy mom. I had the elf bring Quinn some new underwear one night because his were becoming too small. His new ones are roomier, so he decided to utilize this new space as a place to store his play food 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️. He was so proud of himself when he came to show me he had stuffed it all in there. I just…🫠. I made him clean it all. I made up a bucket of cleaning water and had him dump all of the food inside. The strategy was to dry each piece as we took it out of the bucket. Instead, he dipped the drying rag into the water about one billion times, forcing me to have to stop and wring it out for him. I thought my head was going to explode 🤯. I guess the need was fulfilled because he hasn’t stuck anything else inside his underwear. He does, however, frequently undress himself and run around the house in just his new underwear. When he does this, he likes to tell me he’s being Naked Boy. Anytime he’s dressed as a character (which is 99% of the time), he likes to watch the same one on tv. It was awkward when he wanted me to search YouTube for videos with naked boys and I had to try to explain why I couldn’t do that🫠😂.

Between him and his brother, I’m completely over penis shenanigans. The other day, the boys had taken a bath, Asher was still in the tub, but Quinn had gotten out already, thankfully. I was about to get Ash out when he started doing the baby version of helicopter, swinging his hips side to side while peeing on the inside of the tub 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️. Quinn thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. Shortly after that, we were getting ready to leave for Story Hour when I noticed Ash needed his diaper changed. As I was wiping him, he started peeing, getting a good bit on my jeans before I stopped the stream with my hand 🤦🏻‍♀️😩. He hasn’t peed on me since he was an infant. It’s like he was trying.

That poor kid has had some awful diaper rashes lately after he poops, and I haven’t figured out what he’s been eating that’s causing them. He’s good about knowing when he has pooped and will come and tell me, “Poop. Change you.”

He doesn’t have that pronoun right yet, but his language is advancing at lightning speed 😳. Idk what I’m gonna do when both of them are talking my ears off. He’s learning the first/then concept as it applies to time—I told him we needed to get ready to leave for the library and he told me, “Morphle first;” he wanted to watch the show Mila and Morphle first 😂. Thanks to Quinn, he also understands the concept of first in how it applies to ownership—he will claim, “Had it first!,” if Quinn tries to take something from him. It may or may not be true, but the same could be said for Quinn making the claim 😩. Whenever it’s time to brush his teeth, we let him do it, and then I tell him, “Mama’s turn now.” I told him that the other night, expecting him to give me his toothbrush, and he instead, he said, “No! Had it first!” 😂.

Another Quinn-ism Ash has picked up is yelling, “NOW!,” when he wants Quinn to give him something 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️. Quinn laughed the first time Ash said it and even told me he knew Ash learned it from him. Ash uses the same sassy inflection that Quinn does 🙄.

He demonstrated his grasp on the “now” concept again by asking, “Bath now?,” after I had told him we were going to take a bath when I finished eating my breakfast. He saw me walk into the bathroom and he followed me and asked if it was time.

He’s funny when he answers questions. If you ask him something like, “Do you want a graham cracker?,” sometimes he will say, “Uh huh,” but if he’s extra excited about it, he’ll say, “Do!” He’s a really good eater. In fact, if you’re looking to lose weight, Ash is a great person to have around because it is impossible to eat alone 😂. He’s still describing things as delicious, but he has started adding an adverb to his other descriptor. He told Philip the granola bar he was eating was “really good.” So now things are either, good, really good, or delicious. He and I were talking one day while eating blueberries, and he told me they were delicious. I asked if he could think of another food that was delicious, and he answered, “Grapes.” I asked him the same question two more times, and he answered “Chocolate,” and then, “Rice.” If we had kept going long enough for him to answer, “Chicken,” we would’ve covered all of his favorite foods.

Anytime Ash sees someone eating junk—candy, ice cream, cookies, etc.—on tv, he always wants to have some. We don’t keep all of that crap in the house, but we have it available sometimes. Even still, I don’t let them have it unless they’ve had “real” food first. Ash is the worst about begging for it with his sad little baby voice, saying, “Pwease!” 🥺. It’s so hard to tell him no 🫠.

Ash has so much personality already. He makes me laugh with his sense of equality, how he makes sure both extremities get the same treatment. If Sophie licks his right foot, he sticks out his left and says, “Other one.” 😅. If he falls downs and scraps a hand, you’re expected to kiss them both, most likely repeatedly as he instructs, “Other one,” over and over. He’ll let you know if he wants a different cup than the one you’re trying to give him, in the same way, by pointing and saying, “Other one.”

He’s very choosy about his tv shows, too, which is super annoying. Quinn didn’t develop preferences for specific episodes until he was much older than Ash is now (probably because Quinn didn’t even get screen time until he was 18 months old, but those standards get lowered for second borns 🤪). Ash wants to watch either Steve and Maggie or Morphle, but he wants to dictate what he wants to see on them 🙄. If you try to just turn on an episode, he’ll repeatedly say, “Monkey!,” or “Pumpkin!,” or “Daddy!” until you find the one he wants 🤦🏻‍♀️. He is the slowest decision maker though. It takes him forever to figure out what he wants to watch 😑.

For someone who likes Hulk so much, he doesn’t even watch shows about him, really. He just likes the idea of smashing things and being shirtless, I think 😅. The moment he walks in the door, he starts commanding you to help him take his shirt off so he can be Hulk. He used to know his actual name, but now when you ask him who he is, he says, “Hulk!” 🙄. When he gets worked up, he almost has a stutter as he says, “Hulk, Hulk, Hulk Smash!” He’ll also broken record you to death with his repeated, “Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!,” wanting you to say, “On your mark, get set, go!,” so he can run across the room.

He can count to three, and correctly identify all colors. I’m still not sure how he learned them all because I honestly didn’t do him due diligence in teaching him 😳. He’s venturing into the three word sentence territory, picking up more and more phrases. He wanted my watch one morning, so I hid it from him, and he asked, “Where is it?” My favorite phrase he says is, “I love (wuv) Mama.” 🥰. My second favorite that he has said occurred after he and Quinn had an incident. Philip and I were in the kitchen while the boys were in the living room. We heard a thud, and then Ash started crying. We asked what happened, and Quinn insisted that Ash fell by accident and he had nothing to do with it. That’s when Ash said, clear as could be, “Quinn pushed me.” I immediately started laughing because Quinn got called out 😂😂. No more lying for big brother!

We were having a family slamming party yesterday, where mostly Philip and I would playfully slam the boys onto our bed, and Ash kept saying, “Slam me!,” and “Slam me again!” 😂. Quinn gets all worked up and tries to push Philip over, and then tells me, “Slam him, Mom!” I like to talk shit and tell him I’m going to, but it never works out 😂. Doesn’t stop me from trying. It’s a lot harder now with two little people who won’t get out of the way, too 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Ash is always making us laugh. I laughed at him one day when he said, “Blanket hurt!,” when he got shocked by the static on the couch 😂.

He’s super cute when wants loves because he randomly comes up and asks for “Pisses,” (kisses 😆), or a hug.

He takes every opportunity to love on Quinn when he’s laying on the floor 😅. Quinn said, “He’s a trap!” 😂😂.

One thing he did that was not funny was spray Pledge furniture cleaner on the hardwood floor 😩. Well, allegedly. Quinn swears he didn’t do it, but I didn’t see it happen. It definitely happened though, and right before everyone came over for thanksgiving. I should’ve sent out a warning for them to wear their grippy socks because the floor was slick as shit. It’s been weeks, and I think I may have finally gotten it off. Dawn and Zep industrial degreaser did nothing 😳.

He also threw a ball onto the table while I was working on my MacBook Air and spilled my water on it. After soaking it in 8 lbs of rice for 5 days, it still works, but it’s making a sketchy noise so I imagine its days are limited 😩. Luckily, Philip recently replaced his iMac (with a Linux computer, and then got a Google phone, and screwed up our entire household ecosystem, but I’m not gonna talk about that 😤), so I inherited it. I was worried about all of my documents, but everything was saved to the cloud and restored by signing in with my iCloud account 😰.

Ash is a handful, but he sure is fun. I’m excited for Christmas this year. The only thing that’s on Quinn’s wishlist is a Robin costume, which he’s getting. Probably. If he acts right 😜. I do probably 85% of my shopping online, and Christmas has probably been even more. But no matter what package comes, I never say it’s for him. I know what drama that would cause—whining about wanting it now, asking where I’m going to put it, etc.. He keeps asking why we haven’t gotten him anything yet and I just give him a shrug and change the subject. He got upset with me the other day and said, “You better start buying me presents!” 😂. I’ve been done with his gift buying for a while now.

We’ve been trying to get some hours in when the temps allow. We won’t break out of the 700’s for our outside challenge before the year is up, but I’m happy with how far we got.

We had a rotting pumpkin, so I let Quinn get some energy out by smashing it with a stick. We left it where I thought the neighbor groundhog would chow on it, and I was right. It ate almost all of it within a few days.

Quinn learned the letter K at school last week and they did a kite craft. So when he got home, he wanted to fly his kite. The wind was only half cooperative, but he got it going with some good gusts.

Ashy thinks he looks cool when he steals my beanie and sunglasses 😎.

We got to take a walk yesterday for the first time in a while. Quinn was driving his Jeep, but Ash wanted to hold our hands ❤️.

We’ve spent most of our time playing inside with sensory bins and doing crafts and puzzles.

Quinn really liked this sensory bin with shredded paper, Pom Poms, bells, magnet wands, mini bows, erasers, and a mini tree.

This one is so pretty but soooo messy 😑. I knew this going in. There is rice EVERYWHERE. We will never not have rice in our house 😅. It also has pony beads, a pipe cleaner tree, mini light bulbs and candy canes, scoops, a funnel, and an ice cube tray.

We have about one million syringes from infant medicines, so I repurposed them for art’s sake. We made paper ornaments. I folded them in half and told Quinn to only drop paint onto one side, and then he closed them to transfer the paint to the other side.

They turned out pretty cool!

Quinn made another ornament on the fly because Scarlett and Savannah were over and Scarlett asked if they could make a craft 😅. Cardboard and gems is the best I could do because I was busy organizing my new cabinet.

Philip put it together for me 🥰. I am not good at things like that. It fits under my desk perfectly.

We worked on letter identification and matching with a wreath craft.

We made a cool 3D tree and snowman.

They like practicing letters in the bathtub 🛀.

This was just a picture of Robin that I printed and added numbers to make into a puzzle. Quinn is getting better at number recognition so putting them in order is easier.

Ashy was so proud of himself when he put his puzzles together while Quinn and I were working on Robin.

He especially liked the Steve and Maggie matching game I made for him.

I found a pirate game for us to play. It’s basically Candyland, but with a spinner.

Quinn practiced his cutting skills. I drew a smiley face on his scissors so he would know which was the right way to hold them.

We’ve spent some time with our friends:

Ash stole the snowman’s hat at the library and wore it into the story time room 😅.

A collection of Farmers Market babies at Story Time 😅❤️. Iris, Ash, and Carlowe.

We had fun playing with Micah and Carlowe at our house. And Megan 🤪. I’m not gonna show you the pic Philip took of the two of us sitting in the boys’ room while the kids were watching a movie in the living room 😂.

I got a great deal on these Grinch aprons, so I got them for Quinn’s classmates. He didn’t like it 🙄 but they girls did. Glad I could make someone’s kid happy 😂.

We saw the Grinch at playgroup this week. Quinn wanted him to play with him, but he didn’t wanna stand by him to take a pic 😂.

We had a great time celebrating Micah’s birthday!

We went to watch Kate play in her first middle school basketball game. Quinn only likes to go so that he can visit the concession stand and eat junk 🙄. We watched Link’s first Grasshopper game, too, but I left my phone in my car so I didn’t get any pics 😑.