I’m trying to figure out an exercise schedule that works for me, and spend time decluttering my house. Organizing my space also helps me organize my brain, so my neurotic need to sort and label and purge is really just my way of attending to my mental health. I wasn’t even sure I was going to decorate for fall because I couldn’t stand the thought of my house being different, and therefore wrong ð. I did though, and I’m glad because the boys were really excited about it.
We had a yard sale at the beginning of August, and that renewed my love of minimalism. I started downsizing probably 10 years ago, but it’s one of those projects that takes a lot of time, especially if, like me, you don’t like throwing things away. I’m far from a trash bag bandit, I could never throw useful things away. I’m too environmentally minded. Sometimes it’s hard to take a monetary loss, so selling seems like the way to go, but sometimes, it’s not worth the space it occupies in your home or your head. I get to the place where I’m happy to just give things away if it means I don’t have to deal with them anymore. If it can help someone else out, that’s even better.
My struggle comes from my love of buying things ðŦ . I recognized that our household had been doing entirely too much buying, and never enough using. We’re still on a snack and candy buying freeze while we use up our stash. I’m the biggest sucker for anything that comes in a cool container, and for *new* products. I also love the thrill of the hunt, finding useful shit that’s super cheap. It feels like companies have really been cranking out the new products since the beginning of summer, and there’s no end in sight now that pumpkin spice season is here. Pickle flavored EVERYthing hit the shelves the last three months, and while I am a pickle lover, most of them were completely unnecessary. I feel like they were in such a rush to keep up, they started making flavor combinations they had no business making. No one asked for a pickle flavored pizza. The marketing even went downhill, they got lazy and just started naming things ‘mystery’ flavor. That might appeal to my children, who have questionable taste standards, but I’m not a gambler. I like to know what I’m getting myself into. Just tell me what it is so I don’t waste my money.
Anyway, my revived interest in clearing the clutter (you longtime readers remember that title ð ) stems from the newfound freedom of Ash attending Little Red Schoolhouse. It’s only 2 days a week, for 3 hours a day, but for this mom, who rarely spends time away from her kids, it’s a gift. The first two weeks of drop off were pretty hard. Ash has spent 99% of his life in my company, so he was understandably upset. My mild child even called me “the worst mom ever,” for making him go the second day. The second week was actually harder than the first, his tears were hard felt on both ends. However, by week three, once the routine wasn’t quite so new, he began to like it, and now, he even looks forward to it!
Ash starting a new routine gave me the inspiration to start one myself. I needed a distraction for those tough first days, so I decided to start running. I mean, I hadn’t ran in the last 20 years, so it seemed like a good time to start ð. Okay, it hadn’t been quite that long, but close enough. It didn’t take long for me to remember why I don’t run: I hate it. I still hate it, but I’m still doing it. I’m not good at it, and the first couple of weeks made me so sore that I regretted ever even thinking about doing it, but it’s getting a little easier every time I go.
Ash tells me that he loves school and always wants to go now, but one of his teachers told me that they were concerned I might pull him because he doesn’t interact with the other kids, he spends his 3 hours just talking to the teachers. I was like, yep, talking to adults is like, his favorite thing to do ðĪŠ. I told them, no worries, him being there is pretty much my only freedom, so unless he is majorly unhappy, he’s staying ð .
I’m enjoying having some time to myself, but I’m also feeling the heartache that comes with my kids growing up. This is my last year taking Ash to story time at the library. I won’t fit in that space much longer, a routine I’ve had for the last five years. Last week, after the library, I took Ash and Iris to Brooklyn Park to have a picnic and play, and enjoy the beautiful weather that day. We didn’t know, but some of our friends were there, so we all had a good time. It made me sad to know I won’t be doing that much longer either, at least not during the day. It’s kinda like when you go on vacation and you’re having a great time, living in the moment, but then, during the middle of your stay, you start thinking about how little time you have left and how you’re gonna have to go home soon. I’m sad for my time at home with my babies to be ending.
Quinn is doing well in Kindergarten. He doesn’t fight me about going, but he says it’s boring sometimes. Having homework is new this year, and omg, I don’t know how we’re going to make it through having tougher work to do. He fights me tooth and nail, sometimes getting to the point of having to go to time out, just because he’s so damn stubborn. He refused to name the letter S one day. That was literally what the instructions said for him to do and he just wouldn’t do it. He knows his letters and has for almost 3 years, so I know that wasn’t the issue. I’ve brought back his reward chart and he can put a sticker on it each time he makes it through the day without going in time out. That alone tells you how often it happens. Not just over homework, of course, there’s always being too rough with his brother, not listening, etc. He’s like a wild animal that I feel like I have to break in over and over again.
My favorite part of every weekday is when Quinn gets off the bus and walks right into Ash’s open arms. He’s always waiting for Quinn to give him a hug, which he does, and then he hugs me. Just a quick squeeze, but it’s the highlight of my day. I remember from my childhood, every time I spotted my mom in a crowd, or walked toward her coming out of school, or just anytime after being away from her, that she always smiled at me. I knew that she was happy to see me, so I always try to do that with my boys. I want them to know I’m glad to have them back. Philip has a routine of coming to see them when they get home from school and telling them how he’s so happy they’re home and that he missed them. That has helped his and Quinn’s relationship, for sure. That, and them doing bath time together. Quinn is capable of doing it by himself, but he’s scared of being upstairs alone, so Philip goes with him. Bath time has always been a struggle for me and him, so I only do Ash, but that seems to work for us.
Both kids are equally bonded to both of us, but in different ways. I know Ash loves us, but he sure likes to talk a lot of shit ð. He told Philip:
Ash: “Your face looks gross, Dad.”
P: “What? Why?”
A: “It looks like applesauce in the trash!”
Me: ðĪĢðĪĢðĪĢðĪĢ
Quinn: “Did he just burn you?”
Looking like applesauce in the trash is a new standard insult.
Another day, he said to me:
Ash: “I’m gonna wrestle you when we get home.”
Me: “I’m not scared of you.”
A: “I’m not scared of you either. I did some workout today and I got my belly full with Wendy’s, so I’m strong now!”
You just never know what’s going to come out of his mouth. He’s in the frustrating phase right now where his little brain is working a million miles a minute, so he constantly interrupts with random things that don’t have a single thing to do with what the other person is talking about. Sometimes, we, and by we, I actually just mean Philip, like to get him talking by asking questions. I tend not to do this because I listen to enough talking all day long ðŦ . They were having a conversation about apples one day, and Philip asked Ash, “What kind of juice is in apples?” His answer? “Beetlejuice.” ðĪĢ What?! I didn’t even know he knew that word.
Activities we did this month:
