Like just about every other human in the northern hemisphere, I can't wait for the spring weather to come back and stick around this time. I'm tired of being stuck in the house, although Ash and I have been taking every opportunity we get to go for a walk when it's warm enough. These kids need to go outside and play and leave me alone for a bit ð. Given the precedence that Quinn set for three year old behaviors, Ash has been a saint, comparatively. However, his fourth birthday brought a sudden drop in impulse control that was unexpected and completely annoying. I used to be in some gentle parenting groups on FB (which I've since left because the idea is great, but most of the people in those groups seem to equate permissive parenting with gentle parenting, and they are not the same) and some of the moms would talk about how impulse control doesn't fully form until ages 5-7, and I would scoff at them. I accused them of using that as excuse to allow bad behaviors, and some of them definitely did, but I also now think that Quinn learned self-control exceptionally young. There were frustrating times, of course, and maybe hindsight is just painting a rosier picture, but I don't remember Quinn being as persistent with his asking for things. Maybe he did, I don't know. If so, I guess this too shall pass, and there will come a day when I don't remember Ash's phase either. However, in the meantime, he makes me wanna pull my hair out some days ð. He's currently in his strawberry era and wants to eat them 16 times a day. He asks, and I'll say yes, but before I've even had time to get them out of the fridge, he's asking if they're ready. It's infuriating. Part of the problem is that he is distracted, watching his iPad, so he forgets that I've answered him, so I've started asking him what I said after I say it. That helps sometimes.
I'll tell you what, the boys both got iPads for/around Christmas and I regret it. They both have time limits, and when they've used their time for the day, they're out. I appreciate the appeal of it being an electronic babysitter sometimes, but unless they're both doing it at the same time, it's not very helpful for that. Quinn is good at amusing himself but Ash is not. He clings to me extra hard when Quinn is ignoring him, and if I'm busy, I get overwhelmed easily. He gets a case of the "look at me's" and expects an acknowledgement for every move he makes. Or he'll decide to practice writing, but then he wants me to spell words and phrases for him to copy. He'll be like, "Mom, how do you spell, 'Santa, I'm glad you brought me presents?'" ðĪĶðŧ♀️. Yes, we're still talking about Santa in March ð. On one hand, I don't want to discourage him from writing and spelling, on the other, I don't want to try to spell things while I'm doing burpees, or following a recipe, or lifting things overhead while I'm on a ladder ð (seriously). When he's not saying, "Look at me," he's asking nonsense questions or saying nonsense things, which are equally irritating. He spotted a small bubble bottle that Quinn got at school on the kitchen counter, so he asked me about it. I told him where Quinn got it, and then Ash said, "Quinn has never blown bubbles before." I told him he has, lots of times. Ash asked, "When?," and I said, "I don't know when specifically, but lots of times." He then asked where, and I told him outside. So then he asked where outside. I was like, "Stop, Ash. Just stop." So he did because he has great emotional intelligence and knows when I've reached my limit. I try not to snap at him, but oh man is it hard some days. He takes it well, honestly, and I'm always proud of him for it. When I was a kid, if my mom got irritated with me I would cry every single time ð. There are rare times when Ash gets upset, too, but he's typically able to take the criticism and move on.
I still can't leave his sight without him coming and looking for me, which annoys me to no end, but I do kinda love that his little hand is always reaching for mine. I try to remind myself that he's still little and I had better enjoy him needing me for as long as I can because it won't last much longer. Quinn gained so much independence once he started school, so I imagine Ash will be the same. In less than 6 short months he'll be going off to Pre-K and I know I'll miss his nonstop chatter (maybe ðĪŠ). I picked him up from LRS one day and his teacher told me he talked the entire time to them and the other kids. I was like, "Welcome to my world," but she said they were happy because he doesn't normally do that. I guess he finally warmed up...after 7 months ð.
Anyway, back to the iPad situation, I honestly wish we had never gotten them for either child and if I could take them back without being an asshole, I totally would ð. The moment Quinn gets home from school, his nose is stuck on that screen. He answers questions but doesn't have a clue what you asked him. As soon as he wakes up, that's the first thing he goes for. He started not wanting to get dressed in the morning because he was playing a game, so I told him if it's going to be a problem, we just won't have any time on it in the morning. He's been cooperating so far, but I only need about half a reason to do it because I already don't like it. It feels hypocritical to tell them they can't use screens when we do it all of the time though. Not to mention, that's the future, so does it even matter? I don't know. For now, I'm gonna keep their screen time limit intact, maybe even cut it back some. We looked into blackout times, like right after school, but it wont work the way we want it. We're gonna figure something out. It's usually the first thing to go whenever he gets in trouble, and he behaves so much better whenever he doesn't have it. He had to find a way to entertain himself after he lost it for several days for throwing a fit, and he started playing with toys he has never played with before. It made my heart happy to watch him play with action figures and make up scenarios for them, you know, doing kid stuff.
Play Planet
My favorite thing to do is watch my kids run around somewhere having fun. It brings me indescribable joy, for real. Taking them to a new place to explore is great, but just watching them run around the park on a random warm, winter day will do it, too. Last month, we visited Play Planet in Parkersburg, which is a huge indoor playground, similar to the ones at Burger King and The Center for Children and Families, only way bigger. I mentioned it to Quinn one day, and I wasn't sure he would want to go. He has told me he's too big for Playgroup (although, he has since changed his mind), so it seemed like it could be a bust. He insisted he wanted to check it out, though, so we made the trip. I'm glad we did because they ran around and played for over two and a half hours! Quinn seemed content to explore on his own, but Ash's separation anxiety got him upset when he couldn't keep up with Quinn. Quinn was pretty good about including him after I made him aware, and I was proud of him for that. He is a very good big brother...most of the time.
Quinn doesn't struggle with leaving my side anymore, but he just typically doesn't like going anywhere. At least not until we get there. I saw a meme that describes him perfectly:
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