Creative Kimpire: Q: 3 years, A: 5 months

We’re all recovered from covid and the sickness wasn’t even the worst part; being quarantined for thirteen days with my children was 😂. Asher had the least amount of issues, only fevering for about 24 hours, two days after Quinn tested positive, and had a slight cough for a few days. Quinn seemed pretty miserable for the first few days, sleeping a lot and not talking—had I not been worried for his health, it would have been semi peaceful 😜. I’m joking, of course, I never want my kids to be sick. Quinn told me his throat hurt a few times and that, coupled with the fever and a cough, were the only symptoms he showed. I came down with it third, unsurprisingly. You know when your sick kid coughs directly into your eyeballs that you’re not escaping it. I woke up three days after Q fevered, with the worst sore throat of my adult life. It felt like I swallowed a box of nails, the back of my throat was so raw. Unlike the boys, I never fevered. Instead, I had severe flu-like symptoms: cough, stuffy nose, post nasal drip that made me nauseous, itchy ears, and headache. I had extra fun episodes of brain zaps accompanying my illness. If you don’t know what those are, consider yourself lucky. If you have ever weaned off of an antidepressant medication, you may know what I’m talking about. As the name implies, it literally feels like jolts to your cognizance, making you hyper aware. Almost like that feeling you get when you dream you’re falling and awake suddenly, only you’re awake the entire time. That’s the best way I can describe it. Philip had everything I had, except for brain zaps, but in addition to fever, body aches, and chills. He said his legs felt like he had muscle soreness like you get when you first start working out. We both had crazy brain fog that lasted several days, almost feeling as though we were drunk without drinking alcohol. I felt as though it wouldn’t have been safe for me to drive, that’s how disorienting it was. Neither one of us had a sudden onset of symptoms, it was like a new symptom would show up each day, replacing the previous ones. We both lost taste and smell by the last days of quarantine. Mine have returned and Philip’s are still muted. I had ordered some new cereal while we were sick but I told Philip not to eat it because it was really good and I didn’t want him to waste it on his tastelessness 😂😂.

The worst part about not being able to smell was how Ash kept giving me “surprise poops,”—as in I went to change his diaper and “Surprise!, there’s poop”. I was unprepared many times. He makes such a mess that’s it’s often just easier to wash him in the bathtub, rather than using half a pack of wipes to get him clean.

The only lasting annoyance we have is tiredness, but we have a baby and a three year old, who Never. Stops. Talking. So is it covid or toddler exhaustion? The world may never know 😜.

Philip and I celebrated our 20 years together and 14 years married anniversaries with a trip to Lowes and lunch at Outback, sans children. Thanks, MiMi, for keeping them! I had forgotten what having an adult conversation without being interrupted 20 times a minute was like. When I told Marsha (MiMi) our plans, she said, sarcastically, “Romantic.”😂 That’s what romance is when you’ve been together as long as we have and then have babies in your thirties 🤷🏻‍♀️. Seriously though, it was refreshing to just talk about real things with my husband. We don’t get many opportunities for that. We have every night after the kids go to bed, but most days, I’m on information overload from Quinn, and Philip talks all day long at work. We try to do a daily recap during dinner and our nightly walk, but it’s not the most productive conversation. We’re trying to teach Quinn to wait while others are talking, but he still wants a turn. It seems as though he has become extremely inquisitive over the last few weeks. Have you ever wanted to explain Every. Single. Thing. you do all day long, where you’re going, and the reasons for them? If so, Quinn is available to provide that service for you at no charge 😜.

Quinn is incapable of telling me something without starting the sentence with, “Hey Mom.” His next favorite saying is, “What are you doing?,” even when the answer to that question is blatantly obvious. Whenever I took the boys to Marsha’s to drop them off, the ride down made me extra grateful to be leaving them 😂😂. Asher cried the entire way to Paden City (he hates riding in the car) and the scenario went like this:

A: “Wahhhhhhhh”

Q: “Hey Mom” mumble mumble mumble

A: “Wahhhhhhh Wahhhhhhhh”

M: “Quinn, if you’re talking to me, I can’t hear you, buddy.”

A: “WAHHHH WAHHHHH WAHHHHHH”

Q: “HEY MOM”

M: “What?”

Q: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

A: “WAHHHH WAHHHH WAHHHHHHHHH”

M: “You know what, Bud? Let’s just wait until we get to Mimi’s to talk.”

A: “WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

Q: “ASHER!! HUSH!!!”

M: “Quinn! Stop yelling at him, that’s not going to make him stop crying.”

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I’m not sure which is more annoying, “What are you doing?,” or “Why?”

*We’re outside*

M: Quinn, we’re gonna start getting ready to go to the store.

Q: I’m gonna take my shoes off.

M: No, leave your shoes on. As soon as I’m done feeding Ash, we’re going to the store.

Q: But my shoes are wet!

M: Why are they wet?

Q: Because I picked up that Slide N Slip (Slip N Slide).

M: Okay, go get a rag and dry them off.

Q: *leaves and comes back*

Q: I dried them off. Can I take them off now?

M: No.

Q: Why?

M: 😑

I refuse to answer the reflexive “why;” the ones that he isn’t really asking, it’s just a filler word that pops out of his mouth like an “umm.” I don’t have the energy for that.

He’s still calling people shits and his other favorite, Butt Head. I hear at least 20 times a day, “Hey Mom, are you a shit?” I’ve tried minimizing attention to it and just calmly saying, “That’s not nice, we don’t say that,” but he is unfazed. I had to threaten not to take him to playgroup Friday before last if he didn’t stop, because he asked that about 12 times while I was trying to get ready to leave.

*Philip came upstairs to visit us on his lunch break*

P: I have to go back to work now. I love you, Quinn.

Q: I love you, Dad Shit Butt.

M: So close.

I think we’re in a stage right now where being consistent with Quinn and discipline is crucial. If we don’t set these firm boundaries while he’s testing them, the future will only be more difficult. The other day, Quinn decided to see what would happen if he refused to let me buckle him into his car seat again. He found out two things: 1. I’m bigger than him and he’s getting his seat belt buckled, and 2. He will be in trouble when we get home. This happened at Reisbeck’s, so we drove toward home and when we were almost there, I reminded him that he was still going in time out. So that’s what he did as soon as we arrived. He wasn’t happy about it. The next time we were leaving he said to me, “Hey Mom, I’m gonna let you buckle my car seat.” Lesson learned? We’ll see, I guess.

He learned another lesson about writing on the wall with a marker. I told him to get a rag and clean it off. He did, but he told me, “Don’t make that face, make a nice face” when I was telling him that we only write on paper or we can’t use the markers 😂.

I thought that Quinn’s limit testing was exhausting before, but now it seems like we can’t do anything without a fight. Why can’t we just do one thing without a limit test?? Just when I think we’ve had the worst day ever, the next one will blow it out of the water. I can honestly say that I’m not enjoying this stage of parenting. Thank goodness for the break last weekend because I was really at my breaking point. We’ve had a couple better days, with only a few tantrums and time outs, but I’m not overly optimistic that anything has changed. It’s nice to have an easier day though.

I have a weird tell that happens when my life feels particularly out of my control that I just started connecting, and it’s that I dream about working at Pizza Hut. I worked there for four years, until I turned 25. In my dream I’m always frustrated that I can’t find things, or that I don’t know how to work the computer to put in orders, or I don’t know what’s on the menu. I think my brain goes back to that time in my life for a couple of reasons. While I was working there, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and then later passed away. So that was, by far, the most chaotic and stressful time of my life. It was also the most chaotic and stressful place I’ve ever worked 😂. You never knew what you might walk into on a shift; especially a Friday night. We would usually get slammed and then run out of certain sized dough, or breast sticks, or get a million carry out orders, which would backup the kitchen and cause my customers in the dining room to be mad at me. That affected my tips, even though it wasn’t my fault. It was always just crazy so it’s really no wonder my unconscious brain associates stressful times with that time in my life. Knowing that, is anyone surprised I dreamed about working at Pizza Hut the other night? 😂

Years of living with one of the most (sometimes frustratingly) calm people has rubbed off on me, (well, that, and my antidepressant) and it takes a lot to get me fired up these days. However, Quinn can get my blood boiling quick. I can be sympathetic to many feelings and issues; being stubborn for the sake of it isn’t one of them. I mean, he gets it honest, but sometimes it feels like trying to tame a feral cat. He will dramatically throw his bink on the floor (well, when he had his bink. I’ll get to that in a minute) and then cry for one of us to get it. Kid, no. He absolutely hates washing his hair. It doesn’t get washed nearly as often as it probably should, for this reason. He doesn’t like when I pour the water over his head so I try not to do that if I can get the soap out with a rag. Anyway, the other day Quinn was in the tub and laid on his back, dipping his hair in the water. He had his ears under and was talking to me, telling me how much he liked doing that. I saw this as a prime opportunity to wash his hair and soaped him up. I told him to rinse by putting his head back in the water. He refused. I tried convincing him several times, telling him to just do what he just did, like he told me he liked doing. He replied, “I don’t like doing it that often” 🤬🤬🤬.

Quinn can’t seem to do anything the easy way right now. As I mentioned, he doesn’t have a bink anymore. The way he lost it wasn’t ideal, or how I wanted it to go, but it’s done now so it is what it is. It was going to happen one way or another; he kept biting holes in them (and blaming Asher and Sophie for it 🙄) and was down to only one left (that we knew where it was). Philip and I kept telling him that when the last one was gone, he wouldn’t get anymore. His bink was his only comfort object, he has never been overly attached to any particular toy or blanket or anything for sleeping, which is why I kinda wish I hadn’t taken it like I did. On a particularly trying day where Quinn had already tested just about every limit imaginable, he decided to bite me. I was completely at my wit’s end because nothing was working to get through to him, and that was the last straw. It got his bink thrown away for good. I was uncertain about it being gone as a punishment but it’s done. He does have a dinosaur chew toy (not a dog one 😝) that he takes when he goes to bed. It’s made to be like a fidget for kids with sensory processing issues or ADHD. I got it for him months ago, trying then to transition to it from the bink, but it never stuck. Now that it’s his only option, he’s open to it. Whenever he gets in trouble though, he asks if I’m going to throw it away 🫣. I’m just unsure of whether or not I may have scarred him.

We’ve been having some of our worst struggles at nap time. It’s like he can’t fall asleep until he has cried. Seriously, unless he has gotten in trouble or had something taken away, he won’t stop doing shit like pulling on Asher’s hand, intentionally putting his hand underneath mine while I’m trying to burp Ash, or asking me to hand him his cup, taking the tiniest sip, and then telling me to put it back. His stupid cups leak so I try to put it up on the headboard to keep it from spilling on the bed. I’ll tell him that he better take all the drinks he wants because I’m not going to keep taking it down and putting it up. He’ll tell me, “I want you to keep going back and forth.” Mind you, he wants me to have one arm under him and the other arm is under Asher, so to get it is a hassle, which is why I don’t want to. In an attempt to avoid struggles, I’m constantly trying to preemptively control situations by removing anything that might cause an issue. He is no longer allowed to bring a cup to bed with him. You might be thinking that maybe he’s just done with nap time, but I assure you that isn’t the case. A few days ago, Quinn was refusing to take a nap so I told him that was fine, he didn’t have to nap, but he did need to be quiet. I was really overstimulated and just needed a little bit of time without hearing, “Hey Mom,” or being asked questions. I turned on the tv for him but he didn’t like being told that he couldn’t talk to me. He started in with, “Hey Mom” on repeat and when I would finally ask what he wanted, I got answered with another, “Hey Mom,” which he knows I hate. When we’ve had battle after battle, I find it really hard to be a grown up; like, I can’t give him reasonable explanations of why he needs to stop doing what he’s doing. Instead, he went in time out in the bedroom, away from me. He cried for a few minutes and then fell asleep. So much for not wanting to take that nap 😑.

He will literally ask what his punishment is going to be so he can decide whether he’s going to knock his shit off or not. For example, he knows he’s not allowed to splash water out of the bathtub. He was taking a bath on the day of the market, which is when he goes to Kiki’s house, and he started splashing. I warned him that he needed to stop and he said, “Or I won’t go to Kiki’s house?” “Yep, that’s right.” Not really, but whatever works. He doesn’t know that him going to Kiki’s during the market makes my life easier; he just thinks it’s for him to have fun 😏.

My BFF, Michelle, and her 12 year old son, Joaquin, were in town visiting us last week. Michelle and I have been friends for about 15 years. Even though the last time we saw each other was when I was pregnant for Quinn, we always pick right back up as if no time has passed at all. We text often, it’s just not the same as visiting in person. Philip and I hadn’t seen Joaquin since they moved to MA several years ago. Quinn was excited to meet them and enjoyed playing with Joaquin. Asher enjoyed being held the majority of the time Michelle was around 😂. I enjoyed having them to entertain both boys so I could have a little break and some adult conversation. Joaquin got a taste of what having a younger sibling would be like and I think he and Michelle both are grateful she chose to be a member of the One And Done club 😉. Quinn was on his best behavior while they were here, but they would leave during nap time, and I swear, the moment they were gone, Quinn flipped his switch back to Difficult Mode 🙄.

Quinn fevered a few nights nights ago, waking up crying and burning up. I gave him medicine but he laid awake until 3:30am, when I had to put him in time out because he wouldn’t stop touching my face and Philip’s back and waking us up. He’s coughing like crazy—probably infecting the rest of us with whatever it is he has picked up now. I know he doesn’t feel good but ugh. He hasn’t fevered since last Friday, but he’s been a grade A pain in the ass with his sassiness, putting things in his mouth, and sticking his damn feet on everything. He will be eating a bowl of popcorn and put his foot in it, or on Asher’s pillow bed he lays on on the couch, or on the dinner table. I’m totally serious when I say my mental health is suffering. I’m exhausted from the constant conflict. If anyone has any suggestions on how to rein in a wild three year old, I’d love to hear them because I’m about to lose my shit.

Asher is making good strides in his development, having learned to play peekaboo, making sounds that resemble “Mom”(not surprising since he hears it 9,576 times a day 🙄),and rolling and wiggling so much that he can almost turn himself around in a circle. He can now roll both directions, too. When I lay him on the floor on his activity mat, it’s rare to find him where I left him if I leave the room for a minute. Although, that also happened when I left him in his bouncer seat a few days ago. I strapped him in (thankfully), and went to start my coffee. I walked back into the living room from the opposite direction I left in (our house goes around in a circle) and Asher and his seat were gone! I momentarily panicked and started yelling for Quinn, who had dragged Ash and his chair into the kitchen the other way 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️.

He’s 5 months old already!

Asher has figured out how to take his diaper off, possibly by accident since his hands just latch onto anything he can reach, prompting the need to always have a onesie on him. I was leaving him dressed only in a diaper because it’s hot outside, and his face leaks slobber all day long (he has a tooth starting to poke through his gum), which necessitates changing him often. I was trying to save on laundry but he thwarted my plan with his grabby hands. When he poops, it just pours out of him, so having a secure diaper is a must 😂. My friend Chris described it best when she watched him one day while I went to the dentist. She said she was changing him and was glad she had the new diaper close at hand because he almost “shot hot lava” across the changing table 😂😂😂.

Q: “Mom, can I hold Ash?”

His arms 😂

😍😍😍

Poor Ash being Dr. Quinn’s patient 🤦🏻‍♀️.

He liked chillin’ in Uncle Greg’s hammock.

He gets so mad at that toy, trying to lick the inside ball 😂.

My favorite time of the day 😜.

I’m not one *those people* who wish summer away, but I will be happy when the temperatures start staying in the seventies again. I feel as though I’ve spent most of the summer inside because it’s just too hot and humid to take Asher out in it. My garden is beyond control at this point and we had about 25 cucumbers come ripe while we were quarantined and unable to share them with anyone. Philip and I made some different types of pickles but we couldn’t get to all of them and some got wasted. Next summer will be easier for getting things done since Asher will be less needy. Or so I keep telling myself. Don’t burst my bubble.

When we weren’t battling, Quinn and I did some fun activities:

We made underwater volcanoes with every color food coloring we had:

You know he couldn’t resist touching it 🙄😝.

We made a volcano by first making fossil dough—coffee grounds, flour, salt, and water—and then forming it around an overturned plastic cup with a hole cup in the bottom. I placed another cup full of baking soda underneath the volcano. Quinn poured shot glass sized cups filled with vinegar and food coloring into the hole to make it erupt. His face is what makes this fun—we’ve done this a million times but he always looks surprised each time 😂.

Quinn donned his apron to make some homemade slime: liquid starch, glue, water, and food coloring.

We made use of the big box his birthday gift came in.

After the pictures were all finished, he moved onto the box itself and painted it using makeup sponges.

We practiced identifying letters in the bathtub. I wrote his name with bath crayons and he in scrubbed them off with a rag.

Another fun bathtime activity involved “planting” flowers in green foam soap, and then “watering” them with a spray bottle, which would knock them down so he could start over again.

We used that spray bottle to put out fires, too. I printed and laminated a neighborhood, taped it inside of a tote, and then added red, yellow, and orange dyed shaving cream to make fires.

Quinn decided he needed a bigger tool for the job, so he got his fire truck we got him for his birthday. It really sprays water!

Since he’s been so into firefighting, I made him a fire tower to shoot out.

Quinn pasted together two firefighters and colored and pasted the other one. I helped color some of it, obviously 🤪, at Quinn’s request.

We explored the awesome shells, coral, and sand dollar that Nana left for us. She gathered them at different beaches across the US.

I set up a pretend ice cream stand, where Quinn could serve me scoops.

He enjoyed pumping up the balloons way more than playing with them after though.

Ash liked playing, too 😉.

We made some super fancy binoculars to hunt for dinosaurs.

Quinn let (forced?) Ash try them out on our walk 😆.

Quinn and I tried out a Slip N Slide. He wasn’t a fan. I only got wet so I could show him how to slide on it and he refused 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I looked really awesome doing it though 😝.

Quinn said he was done so I told him to go inside and take his wet clothes off while I turned the water off. He came back out completely naked 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️.

Quinn wanted to make a dinosaur mask but it ended up being too small for him sooo 👆🏻. I like to save the pieces of elastic that come on clothes that hold tags on them. That’s what I used for Asher’s mask.

I tried the frozen dinosaur in a balloon activity that 4 people tagged me in or sent to me on FB 😆. He liked using the warm water in squirt bottles to get it out.

We tried again a few days later with a big block

of ice. The core of it hadn’t frozen solid though so it wasn’t as challenging as it could have been.

When Michelle and Joaquin visited, I brought out the frozen dinosaurs that had had time to freeze completely. Joaquin and Quinn worked on freeing the dinos for at least half an hour. Joaquin said it was really hard 😂. I suggested Michelle freezing his toys as a punishment 😂😂.

I really want them to recreate this pic in 20 years 😂.

I made Asher a sensory bag using hair gel, pom pom balls, and tiny acrylic gems that I had no other use for. I put it all inside plastic for my Food Saver and sealed it. It has held up really well, especially consider Quinn has tried his hardest to pop it 🙄. He then decided it was his “baby” and made me babysit it. That was easiest gig ever since he found it acceptable for me to just sit it on the kitchen counter and “watch” it 😂.

We tried some process art by mixing baking soda with water and painting the pieces of card stock with it. We then mixed vinegar with 5 different food colorings, and used a pipette to drop the vinegar onto the baking soda paper. It was turning out pretty cool, but then Quinn decided to purposely squirt the vinegar outside of the box, onto the floor. The fun stops when he starts testing limits 🙄.

We did another process art project by exploring paint pouring. I made an easel by cutting off one side of a box and bending it backwards to create a triangle. I then taped the two sides together. I tied some heavy beads that I had on one side of a string (large hex nuts would also work) to make a weight. I put the other end through the hole in the funnel handle and sat the funnel at the top of the triangle. The weight hung on the other side to balance it. I taped a piece of paper to the front of the triangle and then let Quinn pour some slightly watered down paint into the funnel. We moved the funnel for each pour. It created a cool drip painting.

😃

Ash had a hard time deciding what was more fun to play with—his toy or his foot 😜

Quinn took over Sophie’s crate and called it his garage.

Im not sure what happened the next day, when he was fixing it again, but this is how I found him 😂.

We had lots of fun at playgroup. Quinn loved playing with Harper and Chloe 🙂. Older girls are always his favorite because they mother him and let him get away with whatever he wants 🙄😜.

Ash watched Quinn make a mermaid for the craft.

We made tie-dye-like wooden sea shells and dolphins with cousins, Kate and Link. Peep the gloves Kate is wearing—I brought those, because I know how those children are. How did her hands end up? Completely black from rubbing all of the food colors together all over her bare hands 🤦🏻‍♀️.

The shells and dolphins turned out pretty cool though 🤩.

Quinn practiced his dog grooming skills. I painted a “mermaid dog,” as he called it, on a piece of cardboard and then covered it with packing tape. We sprayed shaving cream on it, and Quinn used the trimmers from his pretend shaving kit to shave it.

Don’t make fun of my mermaid dog 🤪.

At his dad’s suggestion, shaving cream ended up on Quinn’s face 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️.

Andddddd all over the house 🤬. It kept him busy for a bit though, so I guess it was worth the mess.

I made a car garage out of a long Amazon box so we could practice identifying numbers. The #5 isn’t colored due to impatience—his, not mine. It bothers me so I had to point it out 🤪.