As Quinn’s fifth birthday quickly approaches, it feels like the end of an era. Five feels so much more grown up, less toddler. He has had an extra year at home because of his birthday and the public school cutoff deadline, which I’m both thankful for and annoyed about 😆. Socially, it was great for him to have gone to the Little Red Schoolhouse two days a week, which gave him an introduction to school, without the full time commitment. He’s a Velcro kid, so that was a gentler approach that got him used to being away from me. He’s now excited for the school year starting in the Fall. On the other hand, four has, by far, been our hardest year yet. I’m hoping the next one brings less whining and more compliance, but I’m sure that’s wishful thinking 😅. I think it will do us good for Quinn and I to spend some time apart.
Another era that may have ended is Quinn’s costume wearing. It began with him losing his ninja costume, semi-permanently. We found (over and over again 🙄) that he doesn’t possess enough self control to wear it. His ninja moves would always involve him shoving Asher down, or hitting him in some way. We got tired of the constant battle, so we removed the catalyst. It was probably for the best for more than Asher’s safety. That stubborn kid wore it when it was way too hot to do so, and then grumped because he was hot 🙄. The ninja costume was his “best,” as he says, so now that he doesn’t have it, he rarely wears any. He went to his class graduation and willingly wore the shirt that everyone else was wearing. I mean, I was happy the $18 shirt got to serve its purpose, but at the same time, I was almost bummed at his conformity 😅. Two different people asked me what he was dressed as, before the class came in for their performance. Wearing a costume had become an aspect of his personality. When he was up on stage and looking just about as nervous and anxious as can be, I wondered if dressing up would’ve made him feel more comfortable.
I fully expected his graduation ceremony to be a shit show. I wasn’t even sure he would sit on the stage once he saw us in the crowd. He did, but he definitely wasn’t happy about it. The only time he smiled was when Miss Tabitha gave him his diploma 🥹. He really likes her.
He was so happy when he got home and Harper and Lawson gave him a balloon 🥹.
He has transitioned from full on costumes, to embracing wearing superhero shirts. He even occasionally wears shorts, which is a miracle in itself. Not having to zip and unzip him 20,000 times a day has made for less frustration, for sure. I came home from the store one day and the boys were outside with their dad. I got in the shower and Quinn barged in a few minutes later, mumbling something. I told him I couldn’t hear him, so he screamed, “I need unzipped! I have to pee!” I said, “I can't do that right now, Quinn, I'm in the shower! 🙄. Go ask your dad!” Do you know what he asked me?— “Where is he?!” “I DONT KNOW BECAUSE I’M IN THE SHOWER!!” 🤬🤬🤦🏻♀️
Right after I wrote this, he wanted to wear his Spiderman suit to ride his bike, so what do I know? 🤦🏻♀️
Even when he’s not in costume, he has an interesting taste in clothes 😆. Tank top 🎽, swim shorts 🏊🏻 🩳 , and boots 🥾
So, I’m glad we’re not having that too much right now, but there are plenty of other things about him that frustrate me 🥺. Maybe it’s just my experience, but I don’t feel like parents talk openly enough about their difficult kids—the ones who struggle to self regulate, which in turn makes you question your own emotional regulation skills. The ones who will rarely do anything on their own in social situations where that is the norm. The ones who challenge EVERY. 🤬. THING. you tell them to do, and whine about anything that isn’t their own idea. The kids who exhaust you.
I am at my rope’s end with the whining. What happened with Quinn the other day sent me from 0 to 100 in an instant. He had asked if we could go for a bike ride. I told him that I didn’t want to ride my bike, but he could ride his and I would push Ash in the stroller around the block. He agreed and went to get his bike. He left the driveway first, and as I was pushing Ash to catch up with him, he turned around, and headed back for the garage without a word. Well, not an intelligible one. He was fussing and whining, and I had no clue why. I tried talking to him, but all he would do is making that “ehhhahhh” noise that is definitely in the running for most obnoxious sound in the world. When he starts that, we’ve found there is no reasoning with him. He won’t stop, it only gets worse, until he has a full on meltdown. That’s exactly what happened, so I told him to go inside until he was ready to talk to me. That might be the hardest aspect of gentle parenting for me, validating feelings. I know they’re real to him, but they seem so unreasonable to me 😅. Actually, that’s not accurate. It’s not the feelings, it’s the stubbornness I can’t stand. When he settles down and talks to me, I’m happy to hash it all out. It’s that noise and the refusal to stop doing it. I’m sooooo done with that. I have no patience left. Zero. For the record, he had decided he didn’t want to ride his bike after all. That’s it.
I also have no chill when it comes to him wasting food. This is a new battle, which, at the heart of it, is about control. Probably because I’ve taken away his power with the tantrums. He will tell me he wants something to eat that needs preparation—like Mac n cheese, noodles, cereal with milk, etc., and thennnnn try to tell me he doesn’t want it when it’s ready. Absolutely not. We had an hour long fight last weekend over chicken fries. I’m not a “sit at the table until you finish your food” kind of mom, but I won’t allow them to waste food either. When it’s a food I know that he likes, and he ASKED for it, he’s going to eat it. The day of the chicken fry fight, he was being particularly grumpy, so I knew he was either hungry or tired. We had stayed outside late the night before and he got up at his usual time that morning, so it was probably a combination of both. Philip and I told him he either eat his food, or go back to bed, because he needed to do something to fix his grumpy issue. After laying in bed for about 45 minutes, he finally decided to eat his chicken fries. A compelling factor in his decision was me saying that we were going to Sam’s Club after his dad and I showered and if he didn’t eat his chicken fries, he wasn’t getting anything at the cafe there. That’s his favorite place to eat, and that’s our favorite place to feed them because it’s super cheap! 😅. They have a habit of not wanting to eat “real food” at home, opting for snacks, and that’s one place where they’ll eat an entire slice of pizza and soft pretzel. The drive also pretty much guarantees they’ll nap in the car, so it’s our go-to when naps and food are needed.
When I’m not able to bribe him with Sam’s cafe, the rule is now in place that he isn’t allowed to eat any snacks until he eats whatever it is he asked for. I give him ample warning before preparing his food that the expectation is that he is going to eat it, so I don’t think that’s unfair. He will even tell me, “I know, I have to eat it,” but then still try to pull his shit 🙄.
He tells me, “You’re not being nice!,” just about every day. His idea of me not being nice is making him follow rules, so it doesn’t phase me. He was astounded when I let him get a candy bar at Dollar Tree the other day and said, “Why are you being so nice today?!” In my mind, I was thinking, ‘Great, these other people here probably have some thoughts about that 🫠,’ but another mom spoke up and told me her kids say that to her all of the time. I appreciated the solidarity 😆.
I’m usually pretty lax about letting them bring whatever toys they want to play with downstairs, and don’t make them take them back up right away. However, on days I run the sweeper (I have a cleaning schedule I’ve been trying to stick to), they have to make sure everything is picked up off of the floor. There are baskets in both the living room and kitchen where they are supposed to put anything that needs to go upstairs, which would, ideally, be utilized frequently. Unfortunately, that’s rarely the case without being told. Instead, they just drop everything where they’re standing, leaving shit in every high traffic area of the house 😡😩. I had given Quinn a warning that I would be running the sweeper one day and everything was going to need to be picked up. In true Quinn fashion, he started whining about how he couldn’t do it. I assigned him to the living room, and to avoid more whining, I picked up the kitchen myself. When Quinn discovered that he wasn’t going to have to do it, he was really appreciative. He thanked me more than once for doing it for him. He had the same appreciation when I made the boys pepperoni rolls for a day trip to North Bend. Despite all of the undesirable behaviors that have accompanied Quinn’s fourth year, his heart makes up for some of them. We took the boys to the pool for the first time this summer, and that night at bedtime, Quinn said to me, “I love you so, so much because you took us to the pool today.” The next day he said “I’m still so into how much I love you because you took me to the pool yesterday!” 😂. On the flip side, he also tells me he doesn’t like me at least 10 times a day, so, ya know, it’s all about balance 🙄🤦🏻♀️.
We have a nice friend group in our new neighborhood, but all of the kids are older than ours. Most of them are really great about watching out for Ashy and being gentle with him. I think some of them forget that Quinn is only four though. He gets upset when they don’t play games exactly how he wants them to, so he’ll do something to sabotage them 🙄. A few of them like to tell me about it every five seconds 😑, and I get it, his antics are totally annoying. However, they either need to work it out or go home because I can’t be mediating every single issue. Don’t get me wrong, I do step in if he’s hitting or something like that. He has gone to time out while his friends are here more than once. When I ask if they talked to him about whatever the issue is, the answer is usually no. I don’t want to be the first step. He has to learn the social rules that go along with playing with a group of people, and who better to teach him that than his peers?
They’re so good at watching out for him 🥰.
Lawson was trying to teach Ash how to draw a heart ❤️
Quinn is a very generous host. He loves feeding them. I shouldn’t be surprised by this because anytime we go to someone else’s house, he expects to be given access to their snack supply. So, I guess it’s only fair we return the favor. One day, when there were 6 others here, he came to me and said, “Mom, will you ask them if they’re hungry? I’ve been trying to feed them and they won’t listen to me!” I asked what he intended to feed them and he said chips. He succeeded in handing out all of the Pringles cups I had just gotten that morning in our Walmart pickup order 🫠.
Love these kids ❤️
Ash loves having the big kids around so they can help him reach things he can’t (or isn’t allowed 🙄). Since I sorted through his shirts and put out the next bigger size, he has a whole new wardrobe to pick from. That means he wants to change his shirt every hour, except he can’t do it by himself, so he takes full advantage of the big kids’ ability to help him 😅. When Lincoln was here one day, Ash wanted me to change the show he was watching but I was busy. When I told him he had to wait, he yelled for Lincoln instead 🤣. He knows how to get things done.
He’s Mr. Independent with lots of other things, and refuses to let me help. He puts his own shoes on, although typically on the wrong feet. He wants to buckle his car seat chest harness, but it’s tricky to line up, so that’s always a fight when I end up having to do it 🤦🏻♀️.
He has no problem asking for help cocking his Nerf gun. He brought it to me the other morning and asked me to, “blast it back,” as Quinn says. He wanted to pretend to shoot his dad, we have long lost the bullets for it. When Philip walked into the kitchen, Ash told him, “You in trouble, Butthole!” 🤣🤣🤣 Philip and I laughed so hard.
Some of the things he says are hilarious, if not a little insulting 😅. He was eating pizza one day and pointed to his plate and said, “I can’t eat it!” I asked why not and he said, “It’s disgusting!” 🙄🤦🏻♀️. However, the next day he said, “Dad, this is the best ever!,” about the cereal he got for him. He also says, “This is really good,” about stuff, too.
Ash always wants to eat applesauce by himself but it ends in a mess. He yelled while I was loading the dishwasher, “Applesauce on the table!,” and when I told I’d be over in a sec, he said, “Lots of it! Bring a rag!” 😂
His language has really taken off, and I feel like the night it began to blossom was when Nana and Juno were here a few weeks ago. Ash likes Juno a lot, so he wanted to converse with him during dinner. Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to further the conversation, so he just asked him the same question, over and over again—“Hey Juju. You like chicken fries and Mac and cheese?” 😂. Ever since, it seems like he talks nonstop. As if we needed another child like that 🫠. Quinn told me one day that he just didn’t know what to say at that moment…a moment that didn’t require any commentary. I told him it was okay, that he didn’t always have to talk, sometimes it’s nice to just be quiet. He told me, “No, I have too much injury (energy), I have to talk. It’s my job.” 😑😑😑 If it was, he’d be rich 🙃.
Asher is in his lover era, professing his love for everyone, all of the time, and sometimes even aggressively 😅. The last two mornings he has told Philip, “I love you, Mister Man,” as soon as he sees him. He also says, “I love you too much,” instead of so much 😆. He kept telling Lincoln he loves him the other day, which was really sweet, but after like the 15th time, I could tell Lincoln kinda wanted him to stop 😂. He came into the kitchen the other day and told me he was going to kick me. I told him not to, that would be mean and it would make me sad, so he said, “I love you. You a good boy.” 🤨
He tries so hard to give out compliments. If you ever need someone to admire an often unappreciated body part, Ash has got you. He has randomly told me, “I like your nose,” “I like your face,” and “I like your ear.”
Whenever he says those kinds of things, I always thank him, but then I tell him he’s silly. He finds this offensive and usually says, “I not silly! I Asher Cole Eagleson!” 🤣.
He is, though, and he makes me laugh. I was changing his diaper the other day and I jokingly asked him where all of that poop had come from. He confidently answered, “My penis!” 😂😂😂. I corrected him, after I stopped laughing.
Ash is in a tattling phase, something that is semi new to us since Quinn didn’t have anyone to tattle on regularly. I mean, he did (and does) with friends, but Ash tattles every few minutes, and what he says may or may not be true. He comes and tells me, “Quinn call me buttface,” or “Quinn call me butthole,” all of the time. There’s a 50/50 chance those are true, but he said one day, “Mom, Dad call me jelly butt and I not!” 😂. I had been in the kitchen with Philip and he didn’t say anything that even sounded like that, so who knows where he got that from.
Hes such a sweet boy. When he says, “Mama, I want you,” or “Mama, I need you,” and wants me to pick him up, it’s hard to say no. He’s killing my hips though 😩. Anything he’s playing with can turn into a baby that he has to show to you. He brings me stuffed animals, dinosaurs, or even eye boogers 🫠 and tells me they’re nice and wants me to pet them 🤦🏻♀️.
He’s so funny. Every bread product he eats is known as a burger—buns, sandwiches, pepperoni rolls, tacos, beer bread from the farmers market 😆. Sarah Morgan makes some good beer bread. Ash was chowing down on it before we left the market, but I took it from him while he was in my car because I didn’t want crumbs everywhere. As soon as he got out, he told me, “I want my burger!” 😅
It feels like there is always so much going on, almost every day. Which is part of the reason that I can’t seem to get these entries written in a timely manner 🫠. Anyway, here are some of the things we’ve done at home:
Water balloon fight!
Rescue the Paw Patrol from their frozen fate
Caught lightning bugs with Lawson. Ash didn’t want to touch them and Quinn was afraid of them 🫠.
Gave the counting bears a bubble bath 🛀
Had fun with Harper and Lawson on their Slip and Slide
We went hiking with 60 of our friends 😅😉. This was a Playgroup on the Go and it was so much fun! I got Ash situated on my back (despite what it looks like in the bottom right corner 🤪), and he was good with that for a while. He wanted to walk for a bit, but then he wanted back up 🤦🏻♀️. I haven’t mastered wearing him on my back without assistance getting him in it, so I had to switch him to the front. He doesn’t care where he is as long as he’s touching me 🫠.
We attended our first ever Movie in the Park. We watched Paw Patrol and Quinn fell asleep. The train went by twice during the movie and Quinn didn’t wake up 😅. I knew he was tired, this was the same day as the hike. Lincoln had spent the day with us, and right before Quinn fell asleep he said to me, “Mom, we’ve been babysitting Lincoln all day, so can we take him home now and go to bed?” 🤣. I told him we weren’t leaving until the movie was over, but that he could go to sleep if he wanted, and so he did 😴. 
Maybe Quinn passed out from a sugar crash. They had cotton candy, slushies, and popcorn along with the movie 😵💫. The cotton candy and popcorn were for sale, but I brought the slushies that I made by freezing lemonade drink pouches. I brought glow cups to dump them into, and spoons to eat them with. I even remembered scissors to cut the pouches open! Adult win!
Yet, a couple weeks before that, I was instructed to bring silverware and paper products to Quinn’s class picnic (everyone had to bring their own), and I forgot plates 🙄🫣. Thank goodness Lilly’s family brought extra!
Adventure Begins at the Library! Summertime story time started in June and the theme is adventure. Miss Tella read books about a pirate ship and a rocket ship, and then the kids got to decorate cardboard cutouts of each. Even without a prompt, the four pictured together (Ash, Azzy, Micah, and Quinn) can make an adventure, they’re often on the hunt for an imaginary villain named Red Eye. I don’t even know where that came from.
Last week, they each got a Lego mini fig to keep, and then got to use legos to build an adventure for them. I helped Ash build a movie theater for his popcorn fig, Quinn made a skateboard to take his deer to the beach, and Lincoln built a greenhouse for his flower loving green ghoul. They got a coupon for free ice cream from Stalder’s, so we walked there after Story Time.
Philip made his Jeep topless for our first trip to the pool. Quinn thought it was cool, Ash did not 😅.
They got to make magic potions and huge bubbles with Emma, WVU Extension intern, at the farmers market.
We visited the Marietta Library to see the animals they had available to pet and feed.
And then we went and picked strawberries and blueberries at Stacy Family Farm. The boys loved picking them! Ash kept getting excited and telling us when he found a strawberry 😅 🍓🫐
We took a day trip to North Bend to meet up with the boys’ older brother and his family. Quinn really liked walking through the tunnel. Thanks for the pic, Bre!
Unfortunately, Ash had a fight with some concrete while we were there 😭. He’s all healed up now, thankfully, but he still managed to strike a cute pose at Lincoln’s soccer game the next day 😅.
I was glad we got to make it to his last game of the season 💙 💛 ⚽️.
We also caught Kate’s spring band concert 🎺 🦅.
Quinn wasn’t the only one who graduated last month 👨🎓🥺. How is he this old already? My oldest nephew, Coen. I’m so proud of him!
We see this cutie most days, but I haven’t seen much of their oldest sister these days. She’s too busy being an adult and working this summer 🙄. Booo.
The boys wanted to make a fort in the kitchen, and they thought it was hilarious when Sophie claimed “the basement” for herself 😆.
During the thunderstorm earlier this week, Quinn knew Sophie was scared, so he wanted to make her a fort with the climbing dome ❤️. The three of them sat in there and ate snacks until the storm was over.
While I get completely annoyed when the boys knock the cushions off of the kitchen chairs, Sophie sees it an opportunity to use them as a pillow 😑.
I couldn’t resist including our neighbor dog, Ellie bean. She’s such a sweetie ❤️.
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