I have so many emotions and not enough words. I’ve wanted nothing more than for this pregnancy to be over with for months but now that is almost is, as in, one day away from being so, I’m overwhelmed. Well, truthfully, I’m overwhelmed by many things, as we had an unexpected situation present itself last weekend that I’m not going to share right now but it has taken a considerable amount of processing and will continue to do so as details work themselves out. We hope for it to be a positive situation, but the timing was a bit jarring.

Knowing that tonight is most likely our last “normal” night, is distressing. I won’t know for sure what time my surgery is on Tuesday until tomorrow, but my chart says 7:30am, which would necessitate Quinn spending tomorrow night away from me since I would have to arrive at the hospital at 5:30am on Tuesday. As I laid with him this evening at bedtime, my arm under his pillow, his hand holding mine, I fought to hold back my tears. I’ve cried more this past week than I have in a very long time and unfortunately, it has affected Quinn. I’ve assured him that I’m okay, but he has definitely been curious and stressed by it. I know that once I drop him off to Lori, the next time I see him he’s going to seem so much bigger, and it makes me so sad. I know that everything is temporary, and things will get easier, I’m just barely hanging for the ride on this emotional roller coaster.

I wanted to just write one more post before our lives change forever because I don’t want to forget anything when all of the newness starts. I think Quinn has finally started to connect time-out as being a consequence to his actions. He has almost always reiterated the cause that got him put into to time-out when we allow him to come out of it, but he’s a good memorizer and we always tell him what he’s in trouble for when we sit him down. Now, on the way to his consequence, he often says, “I be a good boy!” It doesn’t work, but I almost feel a tinge of pity for him. Except for when he hits me, which is the reason he gets put in time-out about 90% of the time now. He isn’t liking being told that I won’t do something these days. He demands, I decline, he hits, I discipline. Repeat. When he isn’t trying to assert control though, he’s sweet as ever. The way to his heart is through food, as the saying goes for most men 🙄. Quinn loves sour cream and onion chips. He was eating them one day and I was in the bathroom, peeing, (seriously, guys, so many stories happen in the bathroom, it’s ridiculous. However, I do spend a lot of time in there as this baby sits permanently on my bladder), and here comes Quinn to tell me about them. In he barged, with his hand outstretched, trying to give me a chip and said, “Mama! Taste this! It’s so good!” 😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️ I said, “I know, bud, I’ve had them before,” so he ate it himself. I’ve literally eaten them WITH him, but I guess they were just overwhelmingly good that day and he couldn’t keep them to himself 🤪. How nice of him to share….in the bathroom 🤦🏻‍♀️.He was watching a show the other day, and someone had a watermelon. He asked me if we had watermelon and I told him we didn’t. I went grocery shopping later that day while he stayed home with Philip. I bought a watermelon for him and when he saw it in the bag when I got home, he was so excited. He exclaimed, “There’s a watermelon! Thank you, Mama!” 🥺❤️ In fact, he’s been a very polite boy with his thank you’s lately, telling me, “Thank you Mama, I not cold anymore,” when I decided to grab his jacket last minute and put it on him in his stroller before our walk, even though he insisted he didn’t want one a few minutes before. He even says, “No, thank you,” occasionally; once when I asked if he wanted whipped cream on his ice cream, but not before giving it a few seconds’ thought 😆. 

He balances his sweetness with saltiness though. I was in a rush a few weekends ago, trying to get a shower and grab a bite to eat quickly so that I could take the recycling downtown to drop it off before they closed. I scarfed down a sandwich but then grabbed a small bag of Doritos to eat in the car on the way down. Quinn saw them in my hand when I told him I was leaving and would be right back and said, “I want that snack!” I told him he couldn’t have mine, but he could get one for himself and he told me, “Stop being sassy, Mama.” He loves telling us that now 🙄. He also loves telling us that that we’re something that sounds like a “full muck,” something neither of us has any idea of what it is. I don’t think Q does either though because when we ask him, he just says, “It’s the same one.” However, I’m pretty sure it’s an intended insult because of the way he says it, hurling it at you, accusingly. He asked me how old one of his favorite toy dogs, Clifford, is but I reversed the question back to him, asking how old he thought he was. Quinn told me, “Ninety-four.” I asked how he even knew the word ninety and he said, “He’s as old as Mama!” So, I’m a really old full muck, apparently. 🤪 Speaking of made up words, his favorite to say is, “Baduh, baduh, baduh,” when he is, self-described, “all wound up!”🤦🏻‍♀️

Quinn went outside with his dad today while Philip was installing the car seat bases in our vehicles for the infant carrier. I’m the former car seat tech and would have done it but I wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I was resting on the couch. It was in the thirties and Philip said the wind was awful, but the sun was out.  They didn’t stay out long because of the wind but when Quinn came in, I heard him tell Philip that it was a beautiful day outside 🥰. He’s been talking all the time about how when it gets warm outside, we can do this and that. I’m with him; anxiously awaiting warmer weather. We still get developmental updates on Baby Center about Quinn and this week talked about how toddlers his age are starting to understand time, like yesterday means past and tomorrow means future. Quinn has had this perception for a little while now and has advanced to saying, “It takes a long time to get warm outside.” I know, buddy, I know. He is using the word, “earlier,” correctly occasionally but still says, “last night,” for things that happened the same morning. He surprised me the other day by telling me he wanted to watch the “first one,” in the lineup of suggested videos on YouTube. This isn’t really time, rather than placement, but still number related. 

He lied to me three times today, making three different excuses as to why he couldn’t clean up his toys: he had a boo boo on his knee, he got sick, and while playing with his play doh, he went and put on his construction hat and declared, “I can’t clean up right now because I have work to do right now.” 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

I can’t imagine what sort of things he’ll come up with when he has a new family member to blame for things 🤔. 

Aside from the emotional turmoil, I suppose I’m as ready as I can be for the baby to come. I have questionable nesting tendencies, focusing on ridiculous things to clean, such as the blinds above the kitchen window, as if an extremely judgmental baby is coming in for an inspection before he decides to accept us or not 😂. This house is about as clean as it’s getting though because each day I feel more and more exhausted and accomplish less and less. 

Send us some good vibes and happy thoughts that the next couple of days go smoothly. We sure could use some smoothness after the past week and a half. 

The next time you’ll hear from me, I’ll be a mama to two and have lots of new things to complain about, which I’m sure you’ll all be dying to hear 😉🤪.