Well, March may have come in like a lamb with a nice warmer temperature but Asher came in like a lion, causing my water to break at 1:30am on the night before my scheduled c-section. I was supposed to arrive at the hospital by 5:30am, causing us to need to leave our house by 4:30am, meaning our alarms to wake up were set for 3:30am. I could have had two more hours of sleep! 🤬😂 Thankfully, we had boarded the girls and dropped Quinn off to Lori on Monday evening for the plan set in place anyway. So, at least the disruption didn’t affect him. However, he about broke my heart, telling me, “Mama, I wanna go home and take a nap,” whenever we pulled up to their house. He was good once he got inside though. 

Anyway, I was sleeping, had a contraction, and woke up to wetness. Thank goodness for absorbent underwear and shorts, there wasn’t a mess in our bed 😂. I had begun losing my mucus plug earlier that day and had been having irregular contractions for several days, but I still didn’t expect my water to break. I woke Philip up and told him my water broke and we tried to decide what to do. I wasn’t having regular contractions, so if I hadn’t already been leaving in two hours, I probably wouldn’t have gone in then. I called the ER to ask for advice, knowing full well what they would tell me since saying anything other than, “Come in,” would probably be a liability. We also didn’t want to take any risks considering how long it would take to get to the hospital. We got there around 3:15am and they went ahead and took me to my reserved room. The nurse who chauffeured me to my room was talking to me and asked what number baby I was having. When I said, “two,” he laughed and said I was way too calm to only be having number two 😂. I suppose my lack of hysteria was also unconvincing to the L&D nurse that I had, in fact, had my water break. She kept starting sentences with, “IF your water broke… blah blah blah.” Wouldn’t you know, they have a test for that, and guess what? My water broke. Shocking, I know. She used her surprised voice when she came in my room to tell me. Like, I’m sure there are women who get confused but there was no mistaking this for me. Due to the circumstances surrounding Quinn’s birth, I missed out on all of the fun (🙄) parts of labor, like, contractions and water breaking, so, thanks a lot, Asher, for giving me the semi-full experience 🤪.

They told me I could sleep until the anesthesiologist was ready to talk to me but a blood pressure cuff checked me every 20 minutes, the clock in my room had the loudest ticker I’ve ever heard, my IV sounded like someone double clicking a mouse every time it administered fluids, and the room was the first just outside of the OR doors that required a 4 digit code be entered every time someone went in. Which happened every 2 minutes, it seemed. Needless to say, sleep did not happen (and hasn’t happened much since 😩). The surgical team was ready to roll right at 7:30. My doctor came in just before to make sure I had no last minute doubts about having my tubes removed. I assured her I didn’t and that she could take the whole uterus if she wanted 🤷🏻‍♀️. She declined, unfortunately. I was also asked if I wanted to keep my placenta but I offered that up for grabs, too. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to have the tubal litigation because they never had me sign papers beforehand. My least favorite nurse told me I needed to at my 36 weeks appointment but then never returned with them. I even sent a message asking if that was going to be a problem but it was never answered. The doctors in the practice I was using split, 3 of them choosing to stay with Marietta Memorial Health Systems and 3 opting to form their own practice. The 3 staying with the hospital had to move out of their current location because the building is owned by the 3 who were staying. When was this move scheduled to take place? March 1st, of course. The last 2 weeks of prenatal care were definitely lacking as they were all scatterbrained over the move. They didn’t forget to call me on the Friday before my surgery though and see if I wanted to pre-pay for my baby. Instead of being $5,000 and some dollars, I could’ve only paid $4,000 and some. How nice of them to offer me a discount 🙄🙄🙄🙄. 

Anyway, back to the story. I was exhausted, of course, having gotten very little sleep. I walked down the hall into the OR and they had me sit sideways on a table, gave me a pillow to squeeze, and instructed me to bend my spine like a “cooked shrimp,” in order to get my spinal block. I was extremely anxious and the anesthesia team, led by a man who reminded me of Anthony Bourdain, were VERY much morning people. They kept trying to distract me with conversation but I was feeling more like passing out than answering all of their questions: 

“Are you having a boy or a girl?”

“Do you have any other kids? How old is he?”

“What’s the baby’s name going to be?”

I was asked by at least 4 different people. I wanted to say, I know what you guys are doing but I’d be much better off just focusing on breathing and not thinking about how much I want you to shut up. 

Feeling paralyzed in half of your body is the weirdest feeling I could never explain. Trying to move your toes and not succeeding is terrifying, honestly. My legs felt like 2 sandbags when I tried to pick them up to move them later.  

It felt like it took forever but Asher was born at 8:04am after being tugged out of my belly like a spare tire from a trunk. They said his shoulders got stuck, an indication that having the c-section was exactly the right decision. Philip was sitting, holding my hand during it all and could just see my body literally bouncing as they tried to pull Asher out. The doctor pulled the curtain down to show him to me and he and I both cried. He was so loud 😂. I don’t remember Quinn being that loud until he was like 3 months old. The nurses took him over to clean him up but while doing so, his oxygen dropped and they started pumping it to him. They assured us he was okay but then took him to the nursery to put him on a CPAP machine to force air into his lungs to help get some of the fluid out. They said this is fairly normal with c-section babies. Because the doctor was doing the tubal litigation, the closing procedures took longer and I just couldn’t wait to be done. She yelled to let me know my tubes were gone once they had been removed. Oddly enough, she didn’t offer to let me keep those 🤷🏻‍♀️🤪. After I was all stitched up, they took me back to my room, where they had taken Philip a few minutes before. The itching from the morphine started as soon as I got there. I forgot how awful that was. We didn’t get to see Asher until almost an hour later. Everything was fine though. He came out with a full head of dark hair and eyes shaped like mine 😍. He got his dad’s lips, making his face proportions almost opposite to Quinn’s on who got what from each of us. His hair looked curly at first but once he was bathed, it straightened out, just like Philip’s. I was nervous during my pregnancy that I would have a hard time bonding with him, just because I’m not one of those women who instantly falls in love with her womb the second the stick turns pink. Considering how much I hated being pregnant, especially, I feared that it would take some time to feel connected to him. It’s amazing how fast your heart just splits in two though.  I love my little bean ❤️. He really did look super little at first, despite being 8lbs. 5oz., but when I started thinking about how he came straight outta me at that size, he started to seem much bigger 😂. I’m not sure how many times I’ve told Philip that I’m glad I never have to do any of that again 😂😂. 

My plan was to breastfeed and hoped that this time would work out differently than last and Asher would latch well so that I could wait to pump and introduce a bottle. I’m not sure why breastfeeding is so natural yet so freaking hard sometimes. A lactation nurse was helping me and she could just snatch up him and my breast at the same time and seamlessly connect them. I struggled time and time again, him constantly disconnecting and frustrating us both. Even when he would feed for longer periods, he didn’t seem satisfied so they offered to bring me donor milk for him. That worked, and I was grateful for the option, but of course, that required using a bottle to feed him. I started pumping right away, too, trying to get my supply to come in faster. By the time we were ready to go home, I had no choice but to start supplementing with formula, since, unfortunately, I don’t have a milk donor at home 🤪. I have nothing at all against formula, it just makes him extremely gassy. We switched to the sensitive variety and it may have helped slightly but he was still having issues. My supply came in on that Saturday morning. I woke up to feeling like I had two cement balls on my chest. All of my ducts were clogged and I was miserable. I spent all that day trying to clear them with warm compresses and a hot shower before every pump session. I’m pumping in excess now. He has been drinking only breast milk for a week and his belly issues are much better. I’ve decided to stick with the devil I know and just continue to pump exclusively. Latching is more aggravating than it’s worth when I can still give him my milk by pumping. This also allows for Philip to be able to feed him, which is great because we’re currently sleeping in shifts while Asher gets his days and nights straightened out 😩. Thank goodness he has such a long leave from work or I would be a zombie. Although, I’ve had several offers from my friends to come sit with him so I could sleep. They’re the best 🥰.

From this➡️to this 

Back to my hospital encounter—the first day, I couldn’t get out of bed, obviously, since my legs were still numb. Quinn got to come visit us both days and I think he was a little freaked out the first day by seeing me in a hospital bed. He was excited to see his brother but didn’t want to hold him then, messing up my plan for a cute pic of them wearing the matching shirts I made them 😝. He did hold him on Wednesday though and then kept saying, “I held my baby brother today” 🥺. He was so proud of himself and we were so proud of him with how well he handled being away from us. Having him be allowed to come spend the day with us at the hospital was great, too. That helped him understand where we were and what we were doing. He was happy that I could get out of the bed on the second day. I explained to him that I had a big boo boo on my belly from where the doctor took Asher out and I had to be very careful with it. He kept asking me, “Mama, you feel better or you not feel better?” I told him I was feeling better but still needed him to be gentle with me. He was apprehensive at first but ultimately agreed to lay in the hospital bed with me for a nap. I was so thankful for to have that normal experience with him. In trying to wrap his head around what happened to me, Quinn kept asking, “Mama, what your doctor do?” I said, “Took Asher out of my belly.” Then he would ask, “What monkeys doctor do?” I would say, “Said, ‘no more monkeys jumping on the bed’.” We had this exchange several times 😂. He was sure that “When your boo boo gets better, you have another brother in your belly!” I told him, “Nope. No more brothers in my belly ever again.” He didn’t like that answer but then suggested they could be in Dada’s belly. That, I agreed to. 

He didn’t look comfortable at all 😂

Quinn seemed to accept Asher right away, calling him a “full muck,” (which, if you missed my last post, is something we have no idea what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️. But we’ve all been branded as one), and a naughty, naughty bird. Welcome to the family, kid! 😉

😘

When we finally got to go home, we picked Quinn up from Lori and he talked for two hours straight 😳. He was in awe with Asher, telling me, “Look at his little hands” or “Look at his little hair!” He immediately wanted to teach him how to jump like a frog 😂. He suddenly has tons of memories of when he was a baby and knows all the things he used to do—like lay on Asher’s Boppy pillow, drink from bottles, etc. as soon as he starts with, “When I was a baby…” Philip and I start laughing. He was curious about Asher’s formula that first day so I told him to go ahead and try to it. He told me it was yucky and went to rinse his mouth out 😂😂. That first day home was so emotional because I had missed Quinn so much. He even said, “I happy to see you,” after we brought him home 🥺🥺🥺. I laid down for a nap with him and he woke up once in the middle and asked me, “Mama, we home?” I told him we were and he laid back down and slept some more. 

In the two weeks+ since we’ve been home, Quinn has had a lot of big emotions trying to process everything. He says daily that he loves his baby brother, so thankfully, he hasn’t turned them toward him. Regression is very common when a new sibling comes. Quinn has begun wanting me to help feed him things he can eat by himself. I try to oblige when he asks and I am able to do it. We’ve had some big blow ups about refusing to clean up; him making the excuse that he can’t, because he got carsick 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄. One incident lasted for 45 minutes, but ultimately, he cleaned up his toys. We’re trying to be very patient with him but he still has to follow rules. The most frustrating behavior for me is his bossiness and yelling. He gets frustrated and demands that I do something, usually with a RIGHT NOW, added at the end. I refuse to speak to him with he talks to me like that and he eventually calms downs and asks for whatever it is nicely. Sometimes it takes a time out before he changes his tone. We’ve both cried many times from being overwhelmed. 

Quinn has wanted to help with feeding and giving Asher his bink. He likes to play with Damon and I see him doing the things he sees us do with Asher, like feeding him, patting his back to burp him, putting him down for a nap, etc. he tried out the parts to my breast pump a few times, too, but he said they didn’t fit 😂😂😂. 

I didn’t catch the picture at the right time but he keep putting it to his chest. 

…..that’s not where those go, Bud 😂. 

😍😍😍

He has really made out from gaining a brother though because lots of people have brought him gifts to celebrate the occasion—Big Brother shirts, dinosaurs, trucks, etc. I really do have the best friends. Thanks to Marsha, Kim, Mollie, Chris, and Lisa, we had food delivered to us for five days straight once we got home. Enough food to feed us and the entire neighborhood, I might add 😂. We definitely did not go hungry and really appreciated not having to cook in the first several days home. Quinn enjoyed the gifts they brought. When he was staying at Greg and Lori’s, he did really well the first two nights but the last one was pretty tough on Philip to leave him. We reminded him all day at the hospital that he would be going back just for one more night and we would pick him up to go home the next day. When Philip dropped him off, he had a meltdown. Philip called me on the verge of tears and wasn’t sure what to do. I told him just to go back and get him and take him home for the night. I was able to move at that point and the nurses were more than willing to take Asher to the nursery for me if I needed a break. We decided for him to wait in town while I talked to Lori to see if Q had calmed down. She said he had and that he was playing with play doh. Kate was so great with him, playing with him and reading him bed time stories. We both felt okay with him staying and Philip had come back. Kate told Lori that Quinn asked lots of questions while she was reading to him 😂. Lori sent me a precious picture of the two of them passed out on their love seat after reading several books together 🥺🥰. I’m so grateful for Lori and Greg and all the kids for taking such good care of him. It was awful being away from Quinn for so many nights but I knew he was in good hands. 

❤️❤️❤️

Asher had his first appointment to see Dr. Gary last week. He was 8 lbs. 5oz. at birth and 8 lbs. 3oz. at his checkup 6 days later, so almost back to his birth weight, a milestone to be reached by two weeks old. We are ahead of the game 😬. That was a concern for us because Quinn did not gain weight quickly enough and required an additional hospital stay. Dr. Gary told Philip, who took Asher to his appointment, since Asher had gained back to his birth weight that we didn’t need to worry about waking him up to eat at night. That’s cute, he thinks WE wake HIM up 😂. As if I can sleep with this noisy baby around. Some people use the cry it out method but I can’t even use the sigh it out method. I hear every noise he makes. He went to the nursery for a bit the first night in the hospital and the nurse brought him to me when he was hungry. Even she said, “He’s a noisy baby!” I was like, “Such a noisy baby!” 😂 We discovered at that appointment that the hospital measurement was wrong; he was actually 20 inches long at birth, not 18 like they said. I imagine they couldn’t get his legs uncurled because he holds them like a vice so they just went with it. 

One of Quinn’s first tasks when we got home was to see who was bigger, Asher or Damon 😂.

The first two weeks have been difficult physically, mentally, and emotionally. Quinn, Asher, and I have all cried. I’ve cried more in the past month than I have in years 😅. Sleeping was hard at first, aside from the obvious, because I hadn’t slept on my back in over 6 months but was unable to sleep on my side until a few days ago. My injection site in my spine hurt for several days if I twisted the wrong way. I’m still waking up every night, sometimes twice, soaking wet from night sweats. It hurt to cough, sneeze, laugh, bend over, blow my nose, or get up from sitting or laying. I couldn’t go anywhere alone because I wasn’t allowed to drive. Because I’m exclusively pumping, I feel as though I’m constantly tethered to either a pump, a baby, or the kitchen sink washing pump parts and bottles (We did finally get a new dishwasher though! 🙌🏻). While this may sound as though I’m complaining, I still prefer all of this over being pregnant 😂😂😂. I can wear my own clothes again. I can take hot baths. I can paint my toenails. I can walk up and down stairs without feeling winded. It’s pretty fabulous 😂.  I’ve also resumed my one handed skills that come from trying to do anything with a baby in your arm. 

I made it 16 days without being peed on, beating Philip, who got initiated about a week in, and Lori, who got it a day before me when she watched the boys while I went to my 2 week postpartum visit. I put Asher in his bath tub and didn’t get my cover cloth on fast enough and took an arching streak to my leg 🤦🏻‍♀️. 

Asher had lots of firsts: 

He took his first trip to Walmart. Being the best big brother that he is, Quinn wanted to push him around 🙂. 

He had his first photo shoot with me. Of course, my assistant had to try out the set, too 😉. 

He also snapped lots of his own pics (mostly of his hand😜). 

He had his first Tunmy Time play….and promptly feel asleep 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Big brother showed him how to play on his activity mat, saying he was feeding him the taco 🌮  the whole time 😂. 

He got to see his first snow. 

He had his first outing to the garden. Quinn showed him how to dig in the dirt. 

He got to hang out with Spider-Man. Quinn can now dress and undress himself and he puts that costume on about 20 times a day. 

 

Asher took his first walk with the girls while observing his first holiday, St. Patrick’s Day. My friends Lisa, Mollie, Holly, Chris, Marsha, and Kim all went together to buy us a double stroller 🥰.

Quinn looked huge sitting next to Asher in it 😂. 

We took the boys to the zoo today and loved being outside in the beautiful weather. Thank goodness spring is coming! We saw a tortoise there and I reminded Quinn how of how Blippi fed a tortoise carrots on one episode. Quinn told the tortoise, “I’m sorry, Tortoise, we didn’t bring you any carrots” 😂🥰. 

Asher enjoying the lemur exhibit 😉

Quinn measuring his wing span 🦅

I didn’t forget about our other babies. They were well taken care of by Nikki at Paw Spa while we were away in the hospital. She bathed them and cut their nails so they would come home smelling nice 😊. 

They were very curious about their new brother….

For about 2.5 seconds. They’ve pretty much ignored him since 🤷🏻‍♀️. 

Sansa went to see her doctor recently because she has a scab in her nose that keeps coming off and bleeding. She was put on steroids to see if it helps but the doctor and Philip and I all think it’s more than a wound. She mentioned that it could possibly be an immune response from anaphylaxis that is causing a tumor. We remember a time several months ago that we were walking the girls and Sansa was sniffing along when she suddenly jumped back as though she had gotten bitten or something. I searched the area and didn’t see any snakes or anything but now we’re wondering if that’s not when it happened and her body has been fighting against it all this time. Keep your fingers crossed that the steroids work to fix whatever it is. No matter what, steroids would be the solution but she could potentially need to stay on them permanently if it turns out to be a tumor. They make her breathe hard and pee a lot. She’s only 6 so I would hate for her to have to endure them for several years. Our precious dog, Pretzel, was on them for a few years and I’d hate to relive that. 

That is not her pillow 🙄. But I love her anyway 😍. 

Looking pretty in their bandanas from my adopted brother, Eric 😉.